Dating Advice?

LegacyUser

Would love some advice as I am pretty much a newbie in the dating world.

Slept with a guy that I've been dating for the past month. It didn't go very smoothly, due to "performance anxiety" on his part but we still had good fun- lots of kissing, touching, oral & then cuddling afterwards. We managed to do the full deed in the morning & although it wasn't earth shattering, it was nice. we both had to get up early due to other plans.

When we parted ways, he gave me a goodbye peck on the lips & that was it. We normally arrange the next date while in each other's company as neither of us are big texters/callers.

I like him a lot but I suddenly feel he's going to go cold on me after we slept together, especially because maybe it/ I wasn't up to expectation.

I am just wondering when or if I should text him & what to say-should I leave it a couple of days before getting in touch?

I know this isn't really a big deal & if I can sleep with him, I should be able to just text him etc but i'm suddenly feeling really insecure. I feel like this could potentially be something & I don't want to screw things up.

I am a friend

There is no harm sitting back to see how you feel about him after the night... I would let the dust settle for a while and if he is interested he will be on.

kjl

This is fairly common after the first time you have sex. Also things can be awkward the first few times you have sex, don't worry, it you like each other you will soon learn what you each like and have great fun together.

Karen8

sunflower27 wrote: »

I'd imagine he was embarrassed about the previous night, so i wouldn't be overly worried that he is no longer interested.

I agree with I am a friend, sit back and relax for a bit and see how you feel and if you want to organise another date, do it.

I agree, the reason might be his low self esteem and confidence, not you. Give him and yourself a time, wait a couple of days, and if you really want to see him, go for it. There's nothing to lose anyway. Try to do it in a ping-pong way, if you made a step, be sure the next is his All the best!

LegacyUser

cheers for the replies & the advice guys!

I think I was feeling very insecure about the night because I was feeling insecure before we slept together- i think the whole thing has run it's course to be honest & I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I felt like I was doing all the chasing & organising of the dates & that his interest was waning. I thought sleeping together might have sparked that interest but now I realise that that is not the way to go about things. I quite like him & wanted things to go forward.

Silly me! I will learn one of these days!

WANTStoWORK

needsomeinputpls wrote: »

cheers for the replies & the advice guys!

I think I was feeling very insecure about the night because I was feeling insecure before we slept together- i think the whole thing has run it's course to be honest & I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I felt like I was doing all the chasing & organising of the dates & that his interest was waning. I thought sleeping together might have sparked that interest but now I realise that that is not the way to go about things. I quite like him & wanted things to go forward.

Silly me! I will learn one of these days!

Ah relax a bit, by the sounds of it it all seemed to be fairly new experience to this guy aswell. all guys are like that the first few times, if you do happen to bump into him again play it cool, dont even mention your night of passion with him, let him take the lead from there.. best of luck

Tricia1

You have slept with the guy- early enough within the relationship.

He may be having second thoughts.

NothingMan

Wow Tricia1 that's very unhelpful and you clearly know nothing about most guys.

From a guys PoV op. It souds like he was inexperienced and very nervous. Maybe you are a little more experienced and he is worried you may be put off by the nervous performance. That can be a very tough thing for a guy to handle.

You clearly like him and the first time is no big deal for you. As most would know thigs will definitely get better as you get more comfortable together.

I would let him know that you still want to see him again. Maybe ask him when he wants to meet up again. Don't ask if, ask when cos it sounds like he likes you too.

Contrary to what some people seem to believe, guys don't go off girls they like just because she sleeps with him.