Honest Advice

LegacyUser

I am going through a really terrible period in my life. In august last year I met a wonderful Man, we hit it off immediately. There was an instant attraction but we took things slow went on a few dates and in December he asked me to be his girlfriend.

When we first began to have sex he had trouble maintaining an erection.He explained that he was nervous and hadnt been with anyone for a while. I overlooked this and believed that things would get better. to make a very long emotional story short. He was not able to maintain an erection to ever have sex with me.He is only 29.

He went to his GP who told him to loose weight and get fit to which i was very angry about. Other than this problem our relationship was great.We enjoyed each other talked about our future, met each others families etc. Then a month ago he tells me that he loves me and that he thinks we're onto a really god thind, to which i was overjoyed with.He was everything i wanted in a partner.Kind, Loyal, faithful and understanding.Then a week later he broke up with me. He was very down and said he had alot of issues in my head that he needed to sort out and that he was going to see a councillor and that he needed to this on his own. He also said he hoped he wasnt making the biggest mistake of his life by breaking up with me. I am distraught.


We have had very little contact since then. His facebook page reads like he is living in his dream world loads of new pictures, new friends everything. Three nights ago i had enough and rang him and let all my emotions, frustrations and angry roll out. I explained to him how hurt i was by the break up and how hurt i was that he seemed to be fine. I also told him that i felt he never cared for me that i was just filling some void in his life. He got very angry at me and told me never to speak to him like that .That he is angry enough at himself and doesnt need me to add to it. he is still pissed at me but we have said we will meet in a couple of weeks in person when emotions are lessened.

I just don't know what to do, should i try and fight to get him back,how can i do that? should i just leave him be.

I am a friend

I personally would let it go. I would never try to convince someone to love me / be with me. He has chosen to let you go and to be honest, I think his Facebook page means more than you think.

If he is willing to let you be free then take that freedom and run cos if he was the right man for you he never would have...

BattleCorp

Hi. You sound like you were very reasonable when he was having his problems early on in the relationship. And his problem is more common than most men would like to admit.

Were there any other problems that you haven't mentioned because it seems very unusual that he would be overjoyed to be with you one week and the next week want to break up with you.

I think myself he is playing the sympathy card "Oh, it's not my fault, I'm depressed" to excuse his behaviour.

I'm no expert but people who are depressed tend not to be splashed all over facebook showing off the good time that they are having.

You've done what most of us have done when we are hurt, you vented your anger towards him (which in my opinion is good). I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Maybe meet up in a few weeks, but I wouldn't hold out much hope. If he's behaved like this before, who is to say he wouldn't do it to you again.

Doirtybirdy

Meeting up in a few weeks is going to be just another headwreck for you.
What are you chasing him for?

Move on , forget him,one day at a time,one hour at a time,occupy yourself.
Don't look back.
Block him from facebook too.His newsfeed and photo's are unhealthy for you.
Look after yourself

Ickle Magoo

Oh hon, you should never have to beg someone to be in a relationship with you. Let him go.

For whatever reason he's in a different head-space now and that's his choice. Regardless of the kindnesses or patience you showed him then he's not obliged to be in a relationship with you now - and that sucks - but you have to accept that is the way it is.

De-friend him on facebook, stop looking him up - get your friends and family around you and get busy - keep reminding yourself that chasing the dream of relationship that only you still hold is definitely not healthy for you and you are worth more than that.

All the very best.

Karen8

Let it go, it's the only possible way to fight him back.
As for me I would really want to know what happened. I think i couldn't cope with a separation without even knowing what happened to us. there might be too many reasons for that, it might be his personal problems or he might have felt controlled, under pressure, afraid and the list goes on. Knowing those reasons might help not to repeat the same mistakes in new relationship.
All the best