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when she chooses him over you

  • 19-08-2011 11:58PM
    #1
    lainey108
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 106 ✭✭


    me and my bestfriend had planned to go out to a party for ages. the night before the part she decides not to go because her boyfriend doesnt want her going. she tells me that she wants to but he doesnt want her going and so she cancells. im so angry at her! we had planned it for ages. am i wrong to be this angry? maybe im just blowing it out of porportion. what do you think?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP.
    My inclination would be to ask yourself how often does she do this?
    Is it a regular thing that she lets you down or is this a very rare thing to happen?
    If its rare I would let her off this time and try to find someone else to go to these things with.
    If its a regular occurance then maybe talk to her about it and tell her how you feel, and suggest that in future because this happens a lot, to tell her BF about her plans well in advance so he cant get her to back out at the last minute


  • #3
    lainey108
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 106 ✭✭lainey108


    ya its happened before , her boyfriend once told her he didnt like her hanging around with me because she "changes". iv spoken to her before about it saying like i dont really get on with him so when i come to visit we should just hang out because i dont visit that often, but everytime im there he nearly always HAS to be there too.. a mutual friend told me to forgive her because he wont . I dont wana be a bad friend but i hate seeing her not standing up for herself and letting him control her, i know its none of my business really but when she cancels plans with me because he simply "doesnt like it" it then kinda becomes my business,yano??


  • #4
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I think you have every right to be angry at your mate for bailing - but you also have to appreciate there comes a time when your partner and their wishes take precedence over your mates and their wishes. Where that line is drawn and whether you think that situation is acceptable is entirely up to you tho...

    Maybe take your mate to one side and tell them how you feel - don't blame the boyfriend though, I'd say that will get her on the defensive but keep it to being about you and your best mate and how her decisions are making you feel and what damage it is causing your friendship.

    All the best.


  • #5
    Karen8
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 66 ✭✭Karen8


    Lainey, how old is her bf? Either he's very young or too selfish, I can't think anything else.


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