love of my life back, again!

LegacyUser

going to try and keep this as short as possible!
started seeing great guy about 2 1/2 yrs ago, we knew each other for good while before anything happened.
everything was great for nearly a year then, he started to 'back off' i felt like he was kind of 'holding back' if you know what i mean.
i talked to him about this but he would always shrug it off, he knew how upset it made me, i felt he wasnt into me or the 'relationship'. he always denied that though, he isnt very good at communication, he used to say 'it wasnt that easy' but in my mind it was, you like someone, you want to be with them simple right?

he is very private, to an extreme in my opinion, he just doesnt answer people sometimes if they ask him something he doesnt want to answer. this includes me.

anyway it went to the whole, seeing each other then not because i found the lack of commitment too hard. i got to the stage where i couldnt just go with the flow, not because im high maintenance, just because i didnt feel important enough.

also i always felt he had issues with his past, he hadnt completely dealt with past relationships,that he had trouble moving on from them, he hadnt closed the door completely, if that makes sense. he would just say 'no, not true'

so after months of not seeing him, starting to sort out my head and try to move on, he arrives back into my life.
he tried to talk with me, told me a lot about his past, admitted that maybe he hadnt put the past behind him and thats what stops him moving on/committing properly with me. he loves me, we are great together etc. he knows everything that went wrong was his fault because of the way he acted.
he said he is trying to talk to me the way i want, he is trying to sort out his head etc.

now, for my part, i had myself convinced it was over, moving onwards and upwards etc. now, i dont know. i told him he needs to sort out his head, he needs to deal with his past, for himself. im still not seeing him.

im lost now though, im torn. between my feelings for him and my wish that he sorts himself out, for both of us but for himself as well. i want him to be happy.
but on the other hand, am i a fool? we stopped seeing each other, then started again, a few times. surely it shouldnt have taken a year or so for him to realise these things?
why was it when i was gone out of his life that he suddenly realised these things?
im a believer in appreciating what you have, i see the good i have and appreciate it.
when do you draw the line, when do you go from being a girlfriend/good friend to being a walkover.
we are not young either, old enough to know our own minds, you would think!
im terrified. dont know what to do.
any advice welcome.

so he couldnt be with you completely because he hadnt got over his past relationship????

lovely. i wouldnt be hanging around for this one op!
it took him two years or something like it to tell you he wasnt over his ex, what are you? some kind of consolation prize?

seriously, sorry if this sounds harsh, but feck him!!
he wants you to wait around till he might be ready to go out with you??

really? what are you thinking???

sorry, just felt you need a short sharp shake!!!