Need to move on. But how

peoplepie

I met a man on a dating website. After three months of chatting online, i finally got to meet him for the first time last weekend when he came to my home town for a festival and to meet friends of his that live here. I met him for the first time with his friend and had to go to a wedding but had been so taken with him i rushed back from the wedding to meet him again. But he was in a large group of people and though i tried to get chatting to him i couldn't and he didn't exactly make it easy.

The next day i texted him to invite him to come into where i work while i was working for a chat, but he didn't and although i saw him briefly that night i heard nothing from him the rest of the weekend. He also left without saying goodbye.

So, pretty sure he is not interested. I'm sad as i feel it is to do with my looks and weight. My appeal i have always felt is my personality and demeanor and am disapointed i didn't get to show him who i am.

Anyway. I am upset and need to move on. I miss chatting to him on facebook everyday. He just doesn't chat as much now. I blame my weight. I blame everything on my weight. I don't want to get hung up on another guy and repeat the cycle. How do i move on?

Kiera

Was the pic you sent online a bit misleading? He might have pictured you in a different light and when he met you might not have been attracted to you. I know that sounds harsh but people tend to go on attraction first and then personality when meeting someone online for the first time.

I know i've chatted to guys online and got on like a house on fire but when i met them they werent the same as i pictured them in my head even tho i'd seen some sort of pic. I honestly, hand on heart am not trying to be mean but maybe that was the case?

Sure, feck it, he hasnt been the person you thought he would have been so try forget him and move on. Easier said than done with 3 months wasted but its better you didnt spend more time on him.

Hope you meet someone who makes your knees wobbly soon x x

peoplepie

That is so sweet. Thank you. I guess it may be what happened. Although he has full access to my facebook and there are more than a few unflattering photos on there!

It's just disapointing to finally meet him, and him being everything i thought he was and not have him be interested in me. I usually blame my weight for everything. I had a bad date with a guy who told me he was looking for someone slimmer. I am a size 18

JUst wish there was someway i could fall for me and not some guy and appricaiate what and who i am with or without a guy.


Thank you for your lovely message

Firetrap

Sorry to hear this. It's never nice to be rejected and I guess it's worse because of the manner in which it happened. It probably wasn't a good thing to go for 3 months without meeting in person but that's neither here nor there now. I also get the impression that you're feeling a bit lonely and at a loss just now because you'd fallen into a routine of messaging him and he had become a fun and enjoyable part of your day. So, even though he was never your boyfriend as such, you were probably going around half thinking that he was in a way?

You did mention a couple of times towards the end of your message that you felt he was bothered by your weight and your looks. Perhaps you could use this experience as a spur to get fit and lose that weight. I'm not going to go on at length about this because I'm sure you know exactly how it works. You'll look better, you'll feel much happier in yourself and it'll be good for your health. I'm sure you don't look like one of Cinderella's ugly sisters and that you are running down your looks. If you think you could look better, how about changing your hairstyle or getting a makeover.

If you do go back and try online dating again, I think you should try to meet anyone you're contacting pretty soon. That way, you'll find out pretty soon if you're suited in real life and it will stop you getting emotionally attached to someone you've never met.

Kiera

peoplepie wrote: »

That is so sweet. Thank you. I guess it may be what happened. Although he has full access to my facebook and there are more than a few unflattering photos on there!

It's just disapointing to finally meet him, and him being everything i thought he was and not have him be interested in me. I usually blame my weight for everything. I had a bad date with a guy who told me he was looking for someone slimmer. I am a size 18

JUst wish there was someway i could fall for me and not some guy and appricaiate what and who i am with or without a guy.


Thank you for your lovely message

No problem, hon.

Try not to focus on your weight tho. 18 is big but not too big in the sense that you're gonna take a chair with your arse when you stand up

He saw all your facebook pics so maybe it was a case of meeting you at last and even tho he might have still liked you but the reality of a relationship in person scared the crap out of him. This can very well happen. Chalk it down(stupid Limerick term :P) and have fun finding someone new

Red Hand

You left it a good while to meet him and now you probably feel at a bit of a loss now that he and you aren't really going anywhere.

You should do something that takes up your time and attention. Ever remember when you were a child and would become totally engrossed in something to the point of where you forget to eat and the hours shoot by? Well, try and find that place again. Me, I write and walk and read and exercise...it feels better when you concentrate on something to the exclusion of all else.

And look at it this way...isn't it best that you found out now and not another 6 months down the line? Take care.

Intox

Hey OP, Im going to be a tad blunt to be kind.

Ok so obviously you have/had feelings for this guy to come and seek advice openly.
If you still have feelings for him, I have to blunt and say that he doesn't seem into you.

You seem a bit vulnerable and I know that you are concious of your weight but believe me when I say you can do better than this guy for him to treat you like this. everyone deserves courtesy and respect so try forget him!

everybody in this world is an individual and has individual thinking.
there is somebody out there for you that will see you for the beauty that you dont see in yourself.

If weight is affecting your life do not be afraid to seek advice and make a change. a slight change in diet (replacements) and an evening walk would do you the world of good, not just physically but mentally.

dont settle for less than your deserve and chin up.

LEARNING CURVE