Sexual problem

Billy batts

I am writing this as I have reached a point in my relationship with my girlfriend where we don’t solve this issue, I feel it is going to cause serious problems or even the end of the relationship. So I would appreciate any help & I hope that my problem is taken seriously by other members on here. The story is I have been going with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now & the size of penis is the only problem in an otherwise amazing relationship. She is an amazing person , I love her to bits & she defiantly is THE one. I consider myself to be a very caring lover & I like nothing more than taking time to bring her to climax orally before we try intercourse . This is where the problem begins , we have tried everything ,lubes & different positions etc but when I penetrate her she finds it very painful & even though we are able to sex in the normal sense of the word she doesn’t find it pleasurable . Obviously this is causing a big problem as she feels she is not satisfying me fully & been honest I am not satisfied without full on passionate intercourse . I have never had this problem with other women on the contrary, in fact they lapped it up & couldn’t get enough of it. Granted my previous sexual partners have not been so petite in stature as her ( she is 4’11 ) and she says she never has had this size problem with her previous boyfriends. I would be grateful if anyone could help me by providing any suggestions or tips on how to solve this problem . Serious answers only please.

Kiera

I had a boyfriend who was very big in the past and i found i couldn't do the positions that i would have usually enjoyed. I know it sounds boring but with him i found missionary was amazing where as i didnt get off that much with normal sized guys. Doggy was defo out but lying on our sides was great. Try her on top, that way she can control the amount of you she takes.

LegacyUser

Billy batts wrote: »

I am writing this as I have reached a point in my relationship with my girlfriend where we don’t solve this issue, I feel it is going to cause serious problems or even the end of the relationship. So I would appreciate any help & I hope that my problem is taken seriously by other members on here. The story is I have been going with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now & the size of penis is the only problem in an otherwise amazing relationship. She is an amazing person , I love her to bits & she defiantly is THE one. I consider myself to be a very caring lover & I like nothing more than taking time to bring her to climax orally before we try intercourse . This is where the problem begins , we have tried everything ,lubes & different positions etc but when I penetrate her she finds it very painful & even though we are able to sex in the normal sense of the word she doesn’t find it pleasurable . Obviously this is causing a big problem as she feels she is not satisfying me fully & been honest I am not satisfied without full on passionate intercourse . I have never had this problem with other women on the contrary, in fact they lapped it up & couldn’t get enough of it. Granted my previous sexual partners have not been so petite in stature as her ( she is 4’11 ) and she says she never has had this size problem with her previous boyfriends. I would be grateful if anyone could help me by providing any suggestions or tips on how to solve this problem . Serious answers only please.

OP I'm quite petite only just 5' 2 and have never found penis size to be an issue, and have had bigger than average lovers in the past, so i doubt it's her height/stature tbh.

I suppose the first thing is, is she quite tight anyway? It could be something she may need to talk with a doctor about perhaps? Although you do say she's never had problems with previous bfs...

The 2nd, I presume you're bigger than average? Could you try maybe taking it slowly, only penetrating her a little and allow her to get used to that for a few weeks, then a little more, gradually building it up until she can take all of you?

The other thing is it could be a mental block, if it's been 2 years and sex has always hurt, then she expects it to hurt every time you do it, so she's naturally going to tense up, and then of course it will hurt, it's a vicious cycle.

I think the two of you need to start all over again and just gradually build up the penetration aspect, allow her body time to re-train itself to not expect pain. I know you say you are not satisfied without full on passionate intercourse, but i think this is something which is going to require a lot of time and patience and gentleness tbh for a few months and i don't think rushing her into passionate hard intercourse will help matters, only make it worse. (not that i'm saying that you are..)

Neyite

Lots of lube, reapply throughout and ensure you dont go in too deep. Vaginas are designed to stretch to fit a babys head so width wise it should be fine, but if she is anyways dry, it will hurt. Also, the vagina gets used to accomadating the width, so lots of slow gentle practice and it will improve for her.

If its length, you need to use positions that you dont hit off her cervix - it can be a disconcertning and uncomfortable feeling that distracts you entirely from the matter at hand. It could also be that it hurt once or twice in the midst of passion and its an association that was created in her mind to 'brace herself' as it were. In which case, she might need to take control more so that association lessens in her mind.

Hope you resolve this.

Billy batts

Kiera wrote: »

I had a boyfriend who was very big in the past and i found i couldn't do the positions that i would have usually enjoyed. I know it sounds boring but with him i found missionary was amazing where as i didnt get off that much with normal sized guys. Doggy was defo out but lying on our sides was great. Try her on top, that way she can control the amount of you she takes.

Hi Kiera , Thank you for taking the time to reply. It is very true what you say about those different postitions , doggy is out of the question as you say & the position she is most comfortable is on top. However she does find missionary quite painfull , side by side is a position we dont really use so we will give it a go

Billy batts

petitelady wrote: »

OP I'm quite petite only just 5' 2 and have never found penis size to be an issue, and have had bigger than average lovers in the past, so i doubt it's her height/stature tbh.

I suppose the first thing is, is she quite tight anyway? It could be something she may need to talk with a doctor about perhaps? Although you do say she's never had problems with previous bfs...

The 2nd, I presume you're bigger than average? Could you try maybe taking it slowly, only penetrating her a little and allow her to get used to that for a few weeks, then a little more, gradually building it up until she can take all of you?

The other thing is it could be a mental block, if it's been 2 years and sex has always hurt, then she expects it to hurt every time you do it, so she's naturally going to tense up, and then of course it will hurt, it's a vicious cycle.

I think the two of you need to start all over again and just gradually build up the penetration aspect, allow her body time to re-train itself to not expect pain. I know you say you are not satisfied without full on passionate intercourse, but i think this is something which is going to require a lot of time and patience and gentleness tbh for a few months and i don't think rushing her into passionate hard intercourse will help matters, only make it worse. (not that i'm saying that you are..)

Hi PL thanks for taking time to reply. Yes she is quite tight ,Ive had quite a few sexual partners & she is definitly the tightest. I am probobly above average size 7 inches but its also quite thick/wide . I think what you are saying about the mental block thing maybe true, I remember as it actually sticks in my mind the first time she saw me naked with an erection she looked stunned almost horrified , while she didnt say anything I knew by look on her face she was more afraid that excited. She uses words like enormous ,huge etc to describe my size & it is the biggest she has had , so i suppose by using these words alone, the mental block thing could definitly an issue. Now as I said i always spend time orally pleasuring her to climax before we try penetration ,Ive always thaught a womens vagina should relax and be well lubricated enough for sex after a bit of TLC with the tongue?

Ickle Magoo

Billy batts wrote: »

Now as I said i always spend time orally pleasuring her to climax before we try penetration ,Ive always thaught a womens vagina should relax and be well lubricated enough for sex after a bit of TLC with the tongue?

Not necessarily - especially if she is post orgasm and "bracing" for impact, as it were. She needs to be mentally relaxed and wanting to have you inside her...perhaps try not bringing her to climax before you try penetration and just bring her 90+% of the way and she might be thinking more about the impending orgasm than your size?

Billy batts

Neyite wrote: »

Lots of lube, reapply throughout and ensure you dont go in too deep. Vaginas are designed to stretch to fit a babys head so width wise it should be fine, but if she is anyways dry, it will hurt. Also, the vagina gets used to accomadating the width, so lots of slow gentle practice and it will improve for her.

If its length, you need to use positions that you dont hit off her cervix - it can be a disconcertning and uncomfortable feeling that distracts you entirely from the matter at hand. It could also be that it hurt once or twice in the midst of passion and its an association that was created in her mind to 'brace herself' as it were. In which case, she might need to take control more so that association lessens in her mind.

Hope you resolve this.

Thanks for your reply I hear what you are saying about the lube, but she is so wet down there usually when we feel its not the problem. I'm thinking its the actual thaught of it and as you say the anticipation of pain which is causing our problem.

Billy batts

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Not necessarily - especially if she is post orgasm and "bracing" for impact, as it were. She needs to be mentally relaxed and wanting to have you inside her...perhaps try not bringing her to climax before you try penetration and just bring her 90+% of the way and she might be thinking more about the impending orgasm than your size?

Wow good point , i never actually thaught of that

Lon Dubh

There are people who specialise in sexual difficulties (for whatever reason) so that might be worth considering if the problem continues. Unfortuantely I haven't a clue where you would find such a person, but a doctor might know (maybe a younger one would be more approachable?), or maybe the family planning clinic.

I have heard that if a woman is having a problem with size that sometimes it is suggested she practiced with different sized (penis shaped) vibrators, so she can gradually get used to a bigger size. If she does this she should use something like KY Jelly to lubricate. I don't know whether this would work or not, and she might need advice on how to do it, but it could be worth a go.

Firetrap

I wonder does she have something like vaginismus, where a woman's muscles tighten up involuntarily and makes it next to impossible to have sex? As the person above me suggested, might be worth making contact with a family planning clinic or a GP to see if it can be sorted.

curlzy

Hey OP,

I think Ickle Magoo was spot on. When you go south dont bring her all the way to orgasm. I know that once I cum I'm very very sensitive and have to go gentley into sex or it feels like I'm getting battered. So as Ickle said bring her 90%, and then get into sex and I'd say she'll be much more able to accomodate you. And sure you can always go south again to finish her off when you done.

Best of luck.

_mocha_

I had this problem for ages with my boyfriend, but my problem was that I was actually really tense and just didn't realise it.

I know it sounds really weird, but when he was like about to enter me, I did deep breathing for about 2 minutes until I had totally relaxed my whole body.

It requires a lot of willpower on your part lol, but after that, sex was a dream.B-)

Plus you should do what other posters said, and not bring her to climax, lots of lube etc...vaginas stretch. She should be able to take you if you work slow.