Advice needed

PTH2009

meet a girl a few weeks ago. taught everything is going well but when i went to hold her hand today she said i was very 'touchy feely' and she wasant used to all that. i felt annoyed in myself for making her feel that way.

its a stupied question but how can i stop myself being so touchy feely ??. i tend to hold hands way too much (i just dont realize im doing it so much).

I feel like this could be last chance at something if it ends with this girl i feel like i might never recover.

Im saying to myself next time only a hug or a kiss goodnight and thats it. no holding hands ****e only if she wants too.

Advice ??

emilyjmc

I think it's lovely that you want to hold hands and be physically affectionate - you shouldn't try to change yourself.

However, there are girls that feel uncomfortable holding hands in public and perhap she is one of them. Maybe just ask does she feel uncomfortable in a jokey way instead of making a big deal out of it. Perhaps it's just something that she is not used to and she doesn't know how to react.

Also, do you want to be with a girl who doesn't want to be affectionate with you?

WANTStoWORK

God, after three weeks and you havent got to the holding hands stage yet??,

Kimia

She means you're being too clingy. Back off and adopt an air of mystery.

chicken fingers

Or she could just be a person who doesn't like being touched for some reason.
A lot of people are like that. Weird or not, it could be her thing and not yours.

John Mason

why didnt you ask her what she meant i.e. examples

you are 21, if this doesnt work out it is not the end of the world :rolleyes:

Wibbs

emilyjmc wrote: »

Also, do you want to be with a girl who doesn't want to be affectionate with you?

this in a big way.

Miss Fluff

PTH2009 wrote: »

meet a girl a few weeks ago. taught everything is going well but when i went to hold her hand today she said i was very 'touchy feely' and she wasant used to all that. i felt annoyed in myself for making her feel that way.

It's obvious that you are both perceiving this "dynamic" between you in entirely different ways. If there was anything remotely romantic going on between you then of course she wouldn't object to you holding her hand, she's be happy to. Accusing you of being "touchy feely" is her telling you she feels uncomfortable with you touching her, not the actions of someone who is interested in you romantically I'm afraid to say.

Did you go for the counselling that's been recommended?

@rti-shm@rti

Okay so I'm a girl. And I freak out a bit at PDA. Only because I'm not used to it.....and have been really really hurt in the past so it's hard for me to show in public affection toward someone because it's really putting it out there for all to see that 'yes I really like this person'.

This is all me, nothing to do with the guy. I wouldn't write her off because she's not an affectionate person this early. That's not fair. Everyone is different. She may be just as affectionate as you in the end but it's just taking her a bit longer to get there.

If all the other signs point to her liking you then I would say you have nothing to worry about. Just give her time.

Irish_Elect_Eng

Perhaps if she does not want to be seen holding hands it could mean that she does not want people to know that you are together?

Is she more affectionate when in private?

For me no actions speak louder than words, no signs of physical affection, which are often unconscious actions = no underlying affections, no matter what the person says.

Probably best to move on.

PTH2009

the non texting stage has happened all ready. we texted for a while on thursday night and she said nite xoox and then i texted her yesterday hows it going and she didnt text back yet.

My confidence is ****ed now, she has gay friends that can be dangerous ****ers and will wreck my life and so will her family.

I just want to say to her im not going to be holding hands show so much affection i just want to take it easy. The first days were brillent

PLease god let this work out

Taltos

OP - huge +1 on this post - you will never ever ever be happy if you don't change the way you are approaching this and how you think about life and your relationship with others. I would not just suggest to you to get counselling - I would pretty much demand it of you.

sunflower27 wrote: »

Already you seem to put your whole life's happiness into this one relationship. Do you have any idea how unhealthy that is? You will never be truly happy in a relationship if you aren't happy within yourself.

Have you been for counselling? I think you need to go back. Your desperation after not hearing from a text is worrying.