"Ex Wife Wont Go Away"

bobie

I was married for 13 years

ABajaninCork

I don't know whether you're separated or actually divorced. But I guess you could start by changing the locks!!

Tell your wife that from now on, she has to call you to get access to the house. Don't be such a walkover!!!

fallen01angel

bobie wrote: »

My problem is I can't seem to move on, I have asked before not to be calling so much but she just doesn't listen and can be very persuasive and manipulative.

Hi OP, you tried it the civil way and that's clearly not working for you. As posted above,change all the locks immediately. Are ye legally seperated/divorced? If not I think you should definately be looking into it.
Finally TELL her that she can see the kids as often as her likes,in her HOUSE,come up with a rota of some sort,one that's very clear and gives you both plenty of access. Giving her a free rein to come and go from you house is being way too generous.
Good luck:)

ABajaninCork

I think that's the only possible way to go. TBH - I think the fact you're also in-laws is a bit of a red herring. The issue is with your estranged wife and you.

But like I say - you could start putting your foot down. Make it very plain your wife sees the children at a time mutually convenient to you, not when she feels like it.

If it helps, you could make a timetable as to when she get access to the kids. You're not cutting down her contact. You're just making it more structured, which is what the court will do anyway.

HTH, and the very best of luck to you. Somehow, I think you're gonna need it...

Daisy M

Well done for putting your childrens needs first, it is a shame that it was at the cost of your own happiness but you put your childrens well been before your own and that was the right thing to do. I think the advice from Abajanin about doing up a time table re access is good. Speak toyour children and see how they feel about this, your youngest is still only 14 and you dont want to give him/her the impression that you are trying to stop their mother seeing them.
I dont understand the part of your post that mentions her been with another man in the pub and the next day acting as if nothing happened. Is your relationship with your wife still similar to that of a married couple? From the reference you made to having to watch her it sounds as if you still have feelings for her. Personally I think if you ever come across her in that situation again, you should make it your business to go and speak to her and whoever she is with, buy them a drink show your not bothered, that your relationship with your wife is over and you have moved on. I think you are right to seek a legal separation and then divorce it will take time but it will be worth it.

Moomoo1

your children are all teenagers, ie old enough to understand why mommy and daddy split up. Would it be possible to ask them to visit her rather than the other way round?