Mom says she can't stand dad anymore, Should I say something to dad

LegacyUser

Hey

So today my mom tells me in private that she can't stand my dad anymore. They've worked together for 25 years and now she cant take it. According to her, he does nothing, he's arrogant and can never be in the wrong and all his life he has always blamed failures on someone else, he's always needed that crutch. He's not working for the company they set up anymore, instead turning his time to other projects, none of which are successful.

I understand what my mom says and can see a lot of it but don't have to take on a day to day basis as much as she has.

Should I confront him about it and say something?

ElleEm

Stay out of it.
Your mam could have been venting, but either way, it's not yours to get involved in.

Maple

OP, as someone whose parents are divorced and who spent her late teens and twenties stuck in the middle of their relationship, I'd advise you to stay well clear. This is their relationship, they need to sort it out and it's very unfair of your mother to put that weight on you.

If you speak to your Dad, he could take it that you're on your Mam's side.

Despite your age, you're the child in that relationship, you're a product of the relationship, the onus is not on you to fix their relationship. Doing so will most probably only end up in the biggest headfcuk for you.

If your Mam says anything again to you, just push back on her and tell her that she needs to talk to your Dad herself.

LittleBook

No, this has nothing to do with you and I hate it when parents drag children (of any age) into their marital problems. If your mother has an issue with your father, let her deal with him instead of dumping it onto your shoulders. Next time she tries to bring this kind of thing up say, "Mum, I think you should talk to Dad about this, not me. It makes me feel bad being stuck in the middle."

RuailleBuaille

I agree with the other posters here - it is extremely unfair of your mother to be telling you this. The man is your father and whatever happens, you should be able to maintain a good relationship with him. My mam did it all the time and it actually affected my relationship with her rather than my dad. I think you should tell her you are uncomfortable with saying things about your dad but that you will support her whatever she decides. Best of luck.

dundalkfc10

Your mother is a very selfish person by telling you this IMO, stay out of it and tell her not to involve you again

LegacyUser

I still get the shudders when I think of the time, when I was a teenager, that I tried to stand up for my mum in a disagreement that she was having with my dad. He was furious and yelled at me to mind my own business; I'd never seen him so insanely angry before or since. So, as someone who learned to their cost not to get involved in a parental row, I suggest you stay out of it. The problem is between your parents and it's up to them to sort it out between them.

Zen65

Worried in West Sprinfield wrote: »

Should I confront him about it and say something?

No, you should not.

If there is to be a discussion on this it should be between themselves at their chosen time, and your only role is to be supportive and understanding of each, but without taking sides. You should also bear in mind that in any long-term relationship it is not uncommon for one party to feel as though they have "had enough" of their partner. These feelings can often be the result of short-term frustrations and outside influences. In a few days' time your mother could be completely over this, and your involvement would simply ensure that this momentary frustration on her part was going to be the cause of a more serious row between them.

Be at peace,


Z

Dionysus

Worried in West Sprinfield wrote: »

Hey

So today my mom tells me in private that she can't stand my dad anymore. They've worked together for 25 years and now she cant take it. According to her, he does nothing, he's arrogant and can never be in the wrong and all his life he has always blamed failures on someone else, he's always needed that crutch. He's not working for the company they set up anymore, instead turning his time to other projects, none of which are successful.

I understand what my mom says and can see a lot of it but don't have to take on a day to day basis as much as she has.

Should I confront him about it and say something?

You'd be surprised shocked at the number of couples who have been married for a long time, have raised families and who, at least, don't "like" each other and often simply 'hate' each other. {{shudder}}. Sad beyond words that people resign themselves to continuing to live with somebody for whom they feel like this.

And 'No' is the answer. You can be sure if she really does hate him, he'll know. For the sake of his pride, he'd be more annoyed that she admitted it to you.