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advice on rejection

  • 16-08-2011 7:35pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am on an online dating site and have had a few dates so far. Nothing goes beyond the first date due to them getting cold and vague after the date. Rejection is part of it all and I am cool with rejection however it is the cold approach that they do it in when I would prefer if they were open and honest with me so that I know where it is that I have gone wrong and how I can improve on it.

    Chatted for a few weeks to a guy online and we were getting on great. Met up for a date. Then he went all cold and vague then nothing.


Comments

  • #2
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Im not sure what you are asking for here OP?

    The major problem with online dating as I see it and have experienced in the past is that you can get on like a house on fire with someone through emails,msn etc however when you meet them in person there is no spark there.

    The hard question is,how honest are you in your profile or pictures you send to your dates prior to meeting?

    Everyone of course wants to look their best in pictures they send to others however if you are alot different in person from pictures you have sent or if you are cropping photos that cast you in the best possible light then this could also be a reason.

    I hope the above doesnt come across as being hurtful as that certainly isnt my intention but Im just throwing out possible reasons why you havnt gotten past date number one.


  • #3
    Red Hand
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Red Hand


    As Otis said, you can only be yourself, online and in real life. Online doesn't translate well to real life sometimes so this may be the problem. Nothing you can do about it, just meet up with the person that you think you may have a spark with and if there is a spark, there is a spark and if not, then at least you know.


  • #4
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    The many vagaries of internet dating. :)

    I think what you're saying OP is that you spend some time chatting people online and it's all good, but when you meet them suddenly they drop off the face of the earth after the first date and don't bother replying to messages? Whereas you'd much prefer if they were upfront and said thanks for the date, I don't see us working out? Is that what your problem is?

    I'd be the same as you, and have been honest like that when I've dipped my toe into the internet dating scene. I'd much rather be upfront and honest and say listen, nice night but we're too different so best of luck with what you're looking for. Mind you, it hasn't always gone down too well so this might be what's putting these guys off.

    You just need to grow a thicker skin really, don't spend too long messaging them before meeting them because you form an attachment and there's nothing wrong with dropping them a message after the date and just checking in, rather than waiting for them to contact you.

    Best of luck OP, don't let it grind you down. :)


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