Ireland: A Nation Devoid of Empathy

Lux23

I think this piece was written after reading some of the threads on this very forum.

http://www.thejournal.ie/readme/column-%e2%80%98we-irish-are-defined-by-a-lack-of-empathy%e2%80%99/

I DON’T REMEMBER what it was that sparked my national pride; for as long as I can remember I’ve been cheerfully smug about being Irish. I do recall being very, very small, and watching an Ireland vs England match on TV with my oldies, and announcing that I was going to cheer for England because they had decided to cheer for Ireland.

“You can’t do that,” I was told. “You’re Irish. You can’t cheer for England.”

This puzzled me; it was obviously before we learned the 800-years chant at school (if there’s one thing that will very quickly make you a nationalist, it’s Ireland’s tragic history). But this is the only time I can remember not being sure and proud of my nationality. It’s drummed into you at a very young age to be proud of what you are, and what you are is Irish, and it’s the greatest of boons and privileges.

When you saw American tourists in our streets, you knew they had come over to solidify a connection, so delighted they were to have traced at least one ancestral spring back to the ould sod. When you considered a holiday, you were confident you’d be welcomed whatever the destination, so loved was the Irish stereotype, so friendly we were perceived to be. When you thought about emigrating, following the weather or the adventure, you knew that your education and skills would have prospective employers slavering over you. Foreign beauties adored your accent. Unrelated party animals longed to share a Guinness with you. Diplomats and fat cats couldn’t wait to sink their talons into your banks. This, the general consensus as to how the rest of the world viewed their cheeky, cheery Irish cousins. Perhaps some of us still think this; I don’t know. I certainly don’t, not since I wiped my vision clear of our romantic rolling mists and syringed the ballads out of my ears.

Lost your job? It’s your fault
Being Irish is a huge part of who I am. My nationality has shaped me, my way of looking at the world, my likes and dislikes, my wit; one’s cultural background is the bedrock on which balances one’s individuality. I would never deny being Irish. We have such a high opinion of ourselves, romanticised by our ballads, sung low in sorrow for the noble dead or the Irish diaspora. And we’re so, so witty, with our indigenous back-answers and t-shirt slogans and slang. I based my pride on nothing more solid than that.

I’ve become aware of our collective failings as I’ve grown older. Collective is the key word here; individual Irish are as delightful or as hopeless as any other class of person. We take all too beautifully to Mob Rule, though, don’t we? Once we have validation in numbers, we’re a nightmare.

The self-imposed label is that we’re a nation of begrudgers. This hypothesis is wheeled out by celebrity after businessman after sports personality: the Irish don’t like to see one of their own elevated. Rise your head above the parapet and you’re likely to have it knocked off by the sheer force of those beneath you, hauling on your ankles, till your chin slams onto the brickwork and slices your lower jaw into the air like a boomerang. They’ll decapitate you so you don’t get ahead of yourself.

In general begrudgery is a trait treated as a joke, something twee and old-fashioned, something characteristic of ould wans in bingo cults, something we’re all headed for. Lamented, but inevitable and accepted. But now that we’re in economic recession, and now that the mistakes made by government and business have become apparent in the day-to-day struggles of those who got caught in the landslide, I’m noticing a bit more than the petty begrudgery we jokingly agree defines us. Something nastier, not confined to fuddy-duddies or the common-or-garden whingers jealous of the success of others. We have come to be defined by a lack of empathy for our fellow countrymen and women.

Sifting through their rubbish
Lost your job? It’s your own fault. Struggling to raise your children after losing said job? Your own fault for having children. Had to sell your car and are now confined to the local vicinity when hunting to replace the lost job? Pity about you. Why’d you buy a car if you couldn’t afford to run it?

This lack of empathy is down to a heavy-handed smugness rather than mass sociopathic tendencies. We cannot cluck sympathetically at the misfortune of others because we don’t seem to believe in misfortune. If our neighbour is going through a black time, we sift through their rubbish until we can find a reason, however flimsy, to place the blame on them. It’s almost a defence mechanism, as if throwing light on the misfortune of others may cause that misfortune to seep into our own lives, if we don’t hurry to reason why it couldn’t ever possibly.

Well, yes, people who bought houses at the height of the boom have only themselves to blame because they clearly bought houses bigger than they needed. They should have bought a three-bed terraced, like I did. And who did they think they were, going off on that honeymoon to Antigua? I went on honeymoon to Edinburgh and I had just a good a time. And what were they thinking, enrolling their children in ballet classes? Mine scratch in the dirt outside and they get just as much enjoyment from that.

Far from semi-ds and foreign holidays and extra-curricular activities they were reared.

People made mistakes. People bought houses they now cannot afford because they didn’t see the property crash coming, or thought that their job was secure. People made mistakes and some of them are paying for it horribly. What cost a bit of empathy? What internal harm does it do the begrudger to say: yes, that sucks, I hope you can pick yourself up and carry on?

‘Onemandownship’
I hear comments every day from people who seem angry that other citizens have dared to fall on hard times. People who, after watching footage of the homeless man in Dublin who jumped into the Liffey to save his pet rabbit after a passing thug threw it over the bridge, sneered that the emergency services had better things to be doing than looking after the welfare of one wet junkie. People who complain about benefit frauds, as if we are terrorised by roaming gangs of able-bodied villains clothed entirely in sewn-together rent receipts and hats made out of medical cards. People who think the unemployed should be forced into internships to learn how to make tea for those lucky enough to still have jobs. People who believe the downtrodden should be made suffer because… they’re suffering already?

I’m not exempt. I’ve done it myself – tried to validate bad luck by being petty and sneering about those who used to have plenty but have now been recalled to my own level, the working class, the struggling martyrs. Why did I act such a way? Personally, because of my own insecurities. In a social sense, because the Irish love a whinge, and give weight to suffering, rather than achievement. Onedownmanship, you could call it.

“Lost your job? I lost my job, half my left leg, a fiver, and my virginity to a madman, and you don’t hear me complaining about it.”

It is as if we can only prove our personal resilience by belittling the problems of others.

I’m not suggesting that this is unique to Ireland, but despite what my five-year-old self thought possible, I can’t actually speak for any other nationality. And I wonder why, if we love Ireland so much, if we’re so proud of being Irish, can’t we support our struggling countrymen? Where the hell is the solidarity? Why are we, the proud patriots, the rebels, the poets, so keen to turn on each other?

A few people, on hearing news of protest in other EU countries, have said to me, “That’ll be Ireland, soon. We’re close to it. We’ll rise up and make our voices heard.”

We won’t, though. To do so you would need a sense of community and a strong belief in shared disadvantage. And in Ireland we’re too busy distancing ourselves from the fallen to create that.

And that’s why I’m asking myself: is it wrong that I lament the Ireland I was taught to be proud of? Is it wrong because that Ireland never was?

Abridged from a piece first published on lisamcinerney.com. Lisa McInerney is an award-winning Irish blogger who writes for The Anti Room and Culch.ie as well as on her own website.

chin_grin

tl;dr.

krudler

tldr version: we're all cunts here

Saila

a nation devoid of summaries

griffdaddy

None of that badly written shíte alludes to a lack of national empathy. Look at our (almost universal) support for Palestine, look at our foreign aid endeavours and overseas peace-keeping missions. Nobody feels smug about people with families who had to buy houses during the boom, they laugh at people who lived ridiculously beyond their means and are fúcked now, and rightly so. In fact, I'd say there's more empathy creeping back into Irish communities in the last few years than there has been for years and people feel sorry for and assist people who genuinely need it.

prinz

His findings are wrong IMO. It's a load of nonsense.

AeoNGriM

prinz wrote: »

His findings are wrong IMO. It's a load of nonsense.

Your findings are wrong. He is a she, which might explain why YOU woke up with the sore arse after that one night stand.

opinion guy

Anyone else read as far as the mention of 800 years of British rule and then just didn't bother with the rest ?

prinz

AeoNGriM wrote: »

Your findings are wrong. He is a she, which might explain why YOU woke up with the sore arse after that one night stand.

His/her whatever. Where's your empathy man? Either way, mindless drivel from a blogger, or a journalist, as one wannabe blogster referred to himself as to me recently.

Aldebaran

I never pay attention to any article that contains the term 'general consensus'. Ugh.

ballsymchugh

opinion guy wrote: »

Anyone else read as far as the mention of 800 years of British rule and then just didn't bother with the rest ?

that's pretty much where i stopped too!!

MetalDog

Ah yes, more self hating journalism that ensures we squabble incessantly among ourselves, (even by giving out about it in on teh interwebs) instead of going after the people who wrecked the country. This kind of journalism preserves the status quo of begrudgery and the "will ye look at dat hooir dere will ya, de hedd on him" mindset, whether it means to or not..

My 2c anyway. . . I'm too busy looking for work to be dragged off course by the Irish media. Interview next week . . . I suppose there are people out there who would begrudge it to me, but illegitimi non carborundum.

Mickeroo

The only reason I don't cheer for England when they're not playing Ireland in football is because all their players aren't very likeable.

SEPT 23 1989

The only reason i hated England was because of Jimmy Hills chin

Saila

Is this that bint who bought the appartment on the docklands..you know the one! Its a pen name of hers isnt it!:p

gcgirl

griffdaddy wrote: »

None of that badly written shíte alludes to a lack of national empathy. Look at our (almost universal) support for Palestine, look at our foreign aid endeavours and overseas peace-keeping missions. Nobody feels smug about people with families who had to buy houses during the boom, they laugh at people who lived ridiculously beyond their means and are fúcked now, and rightly so. In fact, I'd say there's more empathy creeping back into Irish communities in the last few years than there has been for years and people feel sorry for and assist people who genuinely need it.

Not every one supports Palestine, you only have to look at some of the topics on boards and politics.ie to see what people think and the current state of how people who are unfortunately on social welfare are constantly being lambasted 95% of the time and it does not really look good, personally most of the time I think you just got these stupid keyboard warriors who are so under their mothers thumb(Norman Bates much) with their warped sense, I would love if they actually got up from their computer but that alas will not happen since their are chicken ****s

hatrickpatrick

I don't think it's fair to say that everyone in Ireland is a begrudger.
Those who have something to b!tch about are more likely to speak out than those who are content. Therefore things like Boards, newspaper letters, columns, talk shows etc are bound to give a skewed impression of public opinion.

For instance. People ring up Joe Duffy to complain about things. When was the last time you heard someone call up Joe to say "I was X or Y happen at the weekend and I have to say I think it's absolutely fantastic and those people should be applauded for it"?

Those who are p!ssed off always shout the loudest, it's not representative of the nation as a whole.

flutterflye

I don't cheer for England because I don't watch sports.

Chuck Stone

I always cheer for England because I know they're never going to win. It's a bit like cheering the Titanic as it heads across the atlantic to it's inevitable doom.

prinz

gcgirl wrote: »

Not every one supports Palestine, you only have to look at some of the topics on boards and politics.ie to see what people think and the current state of how people who are unfortunately on social welfare are constantly being lambasted 95% of the time and it does not really look good, personally most of the time I think you just got these stupid keyboard warriors who are so under their mothers thumb(Norman Bates much) with their warped sense, I would love if they actually got up from their computer but that alas will not happen since their are chicken ****s

Yes there is some of that around. You know what else there is around? Reality. I am not going to have empathy for the dopey twats I knew who left school, dropped out of college etc to go work on the sites. The lads from my area who at 20 were driving 4x4's around the place because they were working for daddy in developing.

Like the 26 (IIRC) year old who appeared on The Front Line a good while back. Two years out of college as a quantity surveyor and he had to emigrate to Australia. What did he have to do? Rent out his house. Biggest regret he had emigrating? Selling his BMW before he left.

The other eejits who all piled on the spend spend bandwagon. Morons who played keeping up with joneses for decking, and holidays, and bouncing castles for the kids parties and all the rest.

For the gob****es who used to queue outside some of the msot expensive pubs in the city, to get into an overcrowded, overpriced dump for the pleasure of getting ripped off just so they could be in the 'place to be'.

For the halfwits who borrowed far, far, far more than they could ever realistically afford (and realistic is not full employment for life on your current salary or more).

For the people you know well lived it up with a great life during the good years and turn around now and claim they never saw the Celtic Tiger..

For the very notion of a property ladder, rather than a property step.

Etc etc. Empathy for that kind of tool. No. None whatsoever. Made your bed, now lie in it. So many people were living in a bloody twilight zone and I'll have no empathy for them whatsoever. Anyone who tells me I should have is a fool, and the only outcome is that it will happen again.

Empathy for the people who struggled by in the good times and are still struggling by in the bad. Yes.

ballsymchugh

a lot of the comments at the end of the piece are mixing up begrudgery with dislike. take the wan commenting about ryan tubridy. i don't like him, i think he's quite shyte to be honest, but that doesn't make me a begrudger.

FetchTheGin

prinz wrote: »

Yes there is some of that around. You know what else there is around? Reality. I am not going to have empathy for the dopey twats I knew who left school, dropped out of college etc to go work on the sites. The lads from my area who at 20 were driving 4x4's around the place because they were working for daddy in developing.

Like the 26 (IIRC) year old who appeared on The Front Line a good while back. Two years out of college as a quantity surveyor and he had to emigrate to Australia. What did he have to do? Rent out his house. Biggest regret he had emigrating? Selling his BMW before he left.

The other eejits who all piled on the spend spend bandwagon. Morons who played keeping up with joneses for decking, and holidays, and bouncing castles for the kids parties and all the rest.

For the gob****es who used to queue outside some of the msot expensive pubs in the city, to get into an overcrowded, overpriced dump for the pleasure of getting ripped off just so they could be in the 'place to be'.

For the halfwits who borrowed far, far, far more than they could ever realistically afford (and realistic is not full employment for life on your current salary or more).

For the people you know well lived it up with a great life during the good years and turn around now and claim they never saw the Celtic Tiger..

For the very notion of a property ladder, rather than a property step.

Etc etc. Empathy for that kind of tool. No. None whatsoever. Made your bed, now lie in it. So many people were living in a bloody twilight zone and I'll have no empathy for them whatsoever. Anyone who tells me I should have is a fool, and the only outcome is that it will happen again.

Empathy for the people who struggled by in the good times and are still struggling by in the bad. Yes.

So, unless someone has been struggling all their life, you refuse to give them empathy?

People make mistakes and are living with them.

Anyway, aren't you an ardent Catholic? Surely in the bible it teaches empathy for all man.

prinz

FetchTheGin wrote: »

So, unless someone has been struggling all their life, you refuse to give them empathy?

Perhaps you are confusing empathy with sympathy? I don't empathise with people who orchestrated their own downfall through stupidity or greed. That goes just as much for Sean Quinn, the various bankers etc as it does for some people I know well made money hand over fist for years and are now playing the poor mouth role.

FetchTheGin wrote: »

People make mistakes and are living with them.

Good, live with them.

FetchTheGin wrote: »

Anyway, aren't you an ardent Catholic?

Am I Roman Catholic? No.

FetchTheGin

prinz wrote: »

Perhaps you are confusing empathy with sympathy?

No I'm not.

Am I Roman Catholic? No.

My mistake.

prinz

FetchTheGin wrote: »

No I'm not..

I wouldn't bother wasting my empathy on the many people who put themselves into the sorry position they find themselves in, contrary to common sense and cop on. There are plenty more deserving causes out there. Is the general consensus towards empathy of the golden circle, the head bankers and developers? No, it isn't. Why should there be empathy for others who through greed and arrogance repeated the same kind of actions on a smaller scale?

Buceph

prinz wrote: »

Yes there is some of that around. You know what else there is around? Reality. I am not going to have empathy for the dopey twats I knew who left school, dropped out of college etc to go work on the sites. The lads from my area who at 20 were driving 4x4's around the place because they were working for daddy in developing.

Like the 26 (IIRC) year old who appeared on The Front Line a good while back. Two years out of college as a quantity surveyor and he had to emigrate to Australia. What did he have to do? Rent out his house. Biggest regret he had emigrating? Selling his BMW before he left.

The other eejits who all piled on the spend spend bandwagon. Morons who played keeping up with joneses for decking, and holidays, and bouncing castles for the kids parties and all the rest.

For the gob****es who used to queue outside some of the msot expensive pubs in the city, to get into an overcrowded, overpriced dump for the pleasure of getting ripped off just so they could be in the 'place to be'.

For the halfwits who borrowed far, far, far more than they could ever realistically afford (and realistic is not full employment for life on your current salary or more).

For the people you know well lived it up with a great life during the good years and turn around now and claim they never saw the Celtic Tiger..

For the very notion of a property ladder, rather than a property step.

Etc etc. Empathy for that kind of tool. No. None whatsoever. Made your bed, now lie in it. So many people were living in a bloody twilight zone and I'll have no empathy for them whatsoever. Anyone who tells me I should have is a fool, and the only outcome is that it will happen again.

Empathy for the people who struggled by in the good times and are still struggling by in the bad. Yes.

I think you've basically summed up why her article is so good. You seem to think everyone who had a crash was living beyond their means during the boom. What about the people who did buy a house and could afford it plus a fair bit more on a projection of their income staying steady? What about the people who bought a house and could afford it if one parent went to part time work to look after the kids? What about the people who bought a house could afford it if, god forbid, their spouse got sick and had to give up work, or if they were laid off? How many people bought a house and could afford to pay the mortgage for a year or two even if both of them were laid off? How many of them thought that they'd be out of a job for going on three years now? What can you do in that situation? The answer is not buy a house at all, and then no-one would be buying a house because virtually no-one pays for a house up front.

How about all the people doing quite well for themselves during the boom. They invested in a few shares, a couple of high rated tech companies in the US, a few safe bet banks in Ireland, some went into expertly managed pension funds that spread the investment around globally, and the rest bought a house to rent out, sure even if the stock market crashed we'll still have a house to rent out, or we can sell our own nice property and move into the cheaper house and live off the sale of our old place. Where the **** are there pensions now? They've been prudently saving and investing their extra income for the past forty years and now the have nothing! Yeah, sure one holiday a year. They'd look around the travel agents during the off-season, even if it's only a long weekend away in Rome or Paris. They might rent a cottage for a few days in West Cork, in Kerry, or in Galway. How ****ing gauche of them, spending money when they should be sparing every penny for the biggest bust in Irish history that virtually no-one saw.


How about those guys who set up their own businesses? A nice little bakery, it'll sell real bread, hand made, even gluten free varities. They invest their savings in it, but they've done the business plan and if they can last a year they're sure they can make it work. But now people are going back to a half loaf of mass produced white bread, because tescos can sell it for a pittance. There's no more money for a good bread. Sure there'll be the fans, and the guys who need gluten free bread, but a business can't survive on that.

You're exactly what that article was talking about. Sure anyone who is in trouble now is only in that situation because they ****ed around during the boom. No-one could be unfortunate in the situation. Sure it wasn't like there was a ****ing global economic meltdown that coincided with the biggest bubble burst in the history of our state. :rolleyes:

jay-me

No empathy for "one wet junkie"?? I only recall the majority of people being supportive for him and his pet, so don't know where she is getting that from? Just goes to show the groups this "journalist" frequents!

FetchTheGin

prinz wrote: »

I wouldn't bother wasting my empathy on the many people who put themselves into the sorry position they find themselves in, contrary to common sense and cop on. There are plenty more deserving causes out there. Is the general consensus towards empathy of the golden circle, the head bankers and developers? No, it isn't. Why should there be empathy for others who through greed and arrogance repeated the same kind of actions on a smaller scale?

As I said, people on the smaller scale of it are paying for their mistakes, just because they made the mistakes does not mean people should be devoid of empathy for them.

We all make mistakes.

prinz

Buceph wrote: »

...the biggest bust in Irish history that virtually no-one saw.

*cough* nonsense *cough* But you keep telling yourself that.

Boom, bust, boom, bust. It's a predictable cycle. Only morons though the boom would last forever, the bigger eejits even thought it would plateau on a high just like magic.

Buceph wrote: »

...You're exactly what that article was talking about. Sure anyone who is in trouble now is only in that situation because they ****ed around during the boom. No-one could be unfortunate in the situation..

..and yet I explicitly stated that I do have sympathy for an empathy with a lot of people. That passed you by did it?

Buceph wrote: »

...Sure it wasn't like there was a ****ing global economic meltdown that coincided with the biggest bubble burst in the history of our state. :rolleyes:

You realise they are connected yes?