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why dont I feel upset

  • 15-08-2011 05:15PM
    #1
    animan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 510 ✭✭✭


    Dont know if this is the right place to put this but cant think where else to put this. So my granny died last night but i'm not really feeling that upset. It's been the same with any death in the family and I just feel like the rest of the family will think less of me for not being upset. Hope this is the right place to put this


Comments

  • #2
    coolcat63
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 193 ✭✭coolcat63


    If her death was expected, and possibly a release from pain, then it's not surprising that you perhaps feel relief rather than being upset. I know that with both my grandparents it was the right time for them to go and, while I was sad, I wasn't upset.

    Don't worry about what other people think, everyone copes with death in their own way.


  • #3
    Fozzydog3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 528 ✭✭✭Fozzydog3


    I pretended to cry at my grandads removal


  • #4
    animan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 510 ✭✭✭animan


    coolcat63 wrote: »
    If her death was expected, and possibly a release from pain, then it's not surprising that you perhaps feel relief rather than being upset. I know that with both my grandparents it was the right time for them to go and, while I was sad, I wasn't upset.

    Yeah it was expected but that wasn't the case with my grandad and still nothing. The thing is I dont even feel that sad its more just a feeling of ah well sure cant change it no point of getting upset about it. Horrible as it sounds almost like the saying no point crying over spilt milk. But it seems that it is something to cry over.


  • #5
    spinandscribble
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,000 ✭✭✭spinandscribble


    I wasn't upset when my fathers parents died except when i saw the effect on my dad. Now my mothers parents would be a different story. its all about how close you are to them, you can't feel genuinely upset to the point of tears for someone who is blood but you don't have a real relationship with.

    just act to have the stiff upper lip and don't mess around, keep quiet. no reason to pretend to be upset but also watch yourself and keep quiet.


  • #6
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    I was very very close to my maternal grandparents. One died 10 years ago and I was distraught. It was unexpected and it devastated me.

    My other grandparent passed a few weeks ago and it was after a long illness. It was hard but at the same time, the sense of devastation wasn't there in the same way as it was with the first.

    It was a much easier experience as it was a great loss but also a great release. I was equally as close to both of them but found one loss had more of an impact in terms of the death and the funeral although I miss them both equally.


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  • #7
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,516 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    animan wrote: »
    Dont know if this is the right place to put this but cant think where else to put this. So my granny died last night but i'm not really feeling that upset. It's been the same with any death in the family and I just feel like the rest of the family will think less of me for not being upset. Hope this is the right place to put this

    I've always been like this around death. Grandparents, cousins, aunt and friends have all died and I've never tended to bawl or get upset or anything. Its as you say, "Can't change it so deal with it." However I think it would change if someone I was REALLY close to died but so far it hasn't happened


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