Facebook approach?

LegacyUser

Periodically I have seen this girl around where I live for a couple of years. We have flirted, I think it is pretty clear she is interested in me and I am certainly interested in her. Unfortunately, I have never been in a position to talk to her. Recently I saw her picture in a local paper and her name was given, I did a search in Facebook and I found her.

I would like to go beyond just flirting but I am unsure would sending a friends request be wise. Would she think it odd that I somehow tracked her down? I want to get to know her, not scare her of. However, other than Facebook I don’t know how I would meet her.

I would really appreciate anyone thoughts on this, thanks in advance :-)

Neyite

How do you know that she is interested if you have never spoken to her, and from what I can gather, only found out her name from the paper and was able to do a search on facebook from that?

Send her a facebook request, its up to her to ignore or accept, and see from there.

Doirtybirdy

Do you know any of her facebook friends?
If so ask them about her first.
Otherwise thread very carefully.

LegacyUser

Neyite wrote: »

How do you know that she is interested if you have never spoken to her, and from what I can gather, only found out her name from the paper and was able to do a search on facebook from that?

Send her a facebook request, its up to her to ignore or accept, and see from there.

Non-verbal communication, body language, meta-communication whatever you want to call it. It is hard to describe but I am certain she is interested, it is more than a name in a paper and a Facebook search.

LegacyUser

Doirtybirdy wrote: »

Do you know any of her facebook friends?
If so ask them about her first.
Otherwise thread very carefully.

No, I don’t know any of her Facebook friends.
“Otherwise thread very carefully”, see, this is what is putting my off. She might be fine with it but she could also be freaked out by it.

Otis Driftwood

BBM123 wrote: »

Periodically I have seen this girl around where I live for a couple of years. We have flirted, I think it is pretty clear she is interested in me and I am certainly interested in her. Unfortunately, I have never been in a position to talk to her. Recently I saw her picture in a local paper and her name was given, I did a search in Facebook and I found her.

I would like to go beyond just flirting but I am unsure would sending a friends request be wise. Would she think it odd that I somehow tracked her down? I want to get to know her, not scare her of. However, other than Facebook I don’t know how I would meet her.

I would really appreciate anyone thoughts on this, thanks in advance :-)

You have never spoken to her,but she has clearly been flirting with you?

How exactly does that work?

Now maybe Im out of touch but seeing someone a couple of times over the course of a number of years,having never spoken to them you have concluded that she is interested in you.

I really am at a loss.

LegacyUser

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

You have never spoken to her,but she has clearly been flirting with you?

How exactly does that work?

Now maybe Im out of touch but seeing someone a couple of times over the course of a number of years,having never spoken to them you have concluded that she is interested in you.

I really am at a loss.

Fair comment, but I am trying to gauge if it would be a good idea to approach her via Facebook, not if she is interested in me or not, I have covered that already.

Otis Driftwood

BBM123 wrote: »

Fair comment, but I am trying to gauge if it would be a good idea to approach her via Facebook, not if she is interested in me or not, I have covered that already.

Why wouldnt you approach her in the real world when the opportunity next presents itself?

To be honest my thoughts would be that if you've never spoken to her and found her name in a newspaper,well no offence but adding her on FB seems a bit creepy.Maybe thats just me though.

Also,the fact you reckon you have covered whether she is interested or not,no,you havnt.

Like I said,you've never even spoken to her so you seem either very naive or very cocky.

I really dont mean any offence but if you are that sure then approach her in person.

LegacyUser

I'm a girl and I say go for it. I would be flattered if someone did to me. Like someone else said before, she can accept or reject you but at least you can try and see what happens instead of always wondering. There's guys that I have seen around and fancied and had chemistry with but have never spoken to so I think you can totally tell that way. If one of them had of contacted me I would have been thrilled.
Go for it OP!

Sonics2k

Honestly, just talk to her face to face.

Going through FB is one thing, and some people may consider it creepy or stalkerish (I personally don't really care).

I am confused how you say she flirts, but haven't really spoken to each-other.

I'd really say the best thing to do here is to actually talk to her sometime, instead of through FB.

LegacyUser

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Why wouldnt you approach her in the real world when the opportunity next presents itself?

To be honest my thoughts would be that if you've never spoken to her and found her name in a newspaper,well no offence but adding her on FB seems a bit creepy.Maybe thats just me though.

Also,the fact you reckon you have covered whether she is interested or not,no,you havnt.

Like I said,you've never even spoken to her so you seem either very naive or very cocky.

I really dont mean any offence but if you are that sure then approach her in person.

I am starting to see that adding her to Facebook would be a bit creepy, it is not the best idea I ever had. :-/

I don’t think I am being naive, I hope I am not being cocky. I am probably using the word interested in the wrong context.

Well hopefully the opportunity to approach her will present itself in the real world.

Thanks for your help.

Mc Kenzie

beng a girl, i think this sounds abit odd in my opinion.....

how can you be certain she likes you and you havnt spoken..at all?

and then finding her name in a paper, to add her on facebook...

its not nievety or being cocky, its a little stalkerish.

yes i def agree,speaking face to face is better

ceez

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! :eek: Don't add her on Facebook!!! - seriously off-putting and equates to being a serious creep. If you've seen her around where you live and you believe that "it is pretty clear she is interested in" you, why not just stir up a convo? Think she'd be more interested in you that way, than being the ultimate creep and tracking her down on facebook. (This is why I have hardly any friends on facebook - I decline creeps, nosey parkers, and those obvious fake profiles )

And she is going to go through your profile and establish what kind of guy you are before you even hang out!:)

LegacyUser

As others have said, i don't understand how you could have flirted / how you could believe that she finds you attractive without you guys having communicated.

I personally would find the approach that you are talking about quite intimidating, as women tend to, in general, be less physically strong than men - so I personally would find the idea that a stranger 1) was watching me, 2) considered that we had some sort of connection without any communication, and 3) had tracked me down on the net, to be quite quite scary.

Miss Fluff

BBM123 wrote: »

Periodically I have seen this girl around where I live for a couple of years. We have flirted, I think it is pretty clear she is interested in me and I am certainly interested in her. Unfortunately, I have never been in a position to talk to her

I'm really perplexed as to how it is pretty clear she is interested when you've never even spoken before

LegacyUser

Go for it wrote: »

I'm a girl and I say go for it. I would be flattered if someone did to me. Like someone else said before, she can accept or reject you but at least you can try and see what happens instead of always wondering. There's guys that I have seen around and fancied and had chemistry with but have never spoken to so I think you can totally tell that way. If one of them had of contacted me I would have been thrilled.
Go for it OP!

Well at least somebody understands what I mean. :-)

However, I am not going to add her on Facebook. There is too much of a chance she could be freaked out by it and that is the last thing I want.

Hopefully I will get the chance to talk to her sometime, if it is meant to be it will happen…

nagolina

I think facebook can be a bit hit and miss really. I would personally ignore someone on there I didn't know, but then, if you've been flirting maybe she'll be delighted to hear from you

A guy I met in a pub one night asked me out on FB the next morning, he wouldn't let on how he found out who I was - I guess I was flattered that he had been interested enough to track me down but a wee bit creeped out too!

I've had a whopping crush on a guy who lives locally to me for 2 years. We've barely exchanged more than a couple of words, but the chemistry is unmistakable, so you can know without even meeting someone I think. In my infinate wisdom I decided it would be a good idea to ask him out via FB as I had no other way of talking to him and he never replied! Mortified doesn't even cover that one

Feck, no help at all sorry! Just ask her out in person the next time you see her, what's the worst that can happen?

busyliving

Mate the Facebook thing may come across as being a little too forward/creepy...

But man if approaching her face to face isn't an option either that ye see very little of each other lately or because it scares the ****e outta you then do the Facebook thing...

But if you have read any of my posts on here, you can see I'm no Casanova:(

LegacyUser

Facebook is fading out , people are very wary of it. Just approach her next time you see her . introduce yourself say you've seen her around, ask her name. ask her can you add her on FB or ask her out on a date. This is the way dating is done in the UK, USA etc. Just go for it.