Aspergers - I hate people but I'm very lonely

LegacyUser

Hi,
I'm a 26 year old male, good looking, decent job, intelligent.

I was diagnosed with aspergers recently.

I find generally that it's very easy for me to dislike simple things in people and I can just handle them in small doses. Yet I am lonely, I have a family but I would like to have a partner. I am slowly trying to build up some acquaintances. Think I might have one or two - see how it goes I suppose.

The only way I'll meet someone is if they take me by the hand like Dr. Nash in a beautiful mind. I am actually quite a sensitive and caring person....but seriously odd when it comes to relationships. I find powerful emotions brewing up from small things like clothes not matching correctly or a handbag not being a colour I like. Sunglasses I don't like etc.

Dunno what to do.....

Baked.noodle

You sound like a great guy with lots going for you. I take it you have always been different, but now have been labelled with Aspergers. This is a good thing if you don’t get too hung up on it. It will be great to finally get the treatment and support you need. Take advantage of it, especially any support that will help you to develop communication skills. It’s ok to have odd feelings if you can express them in a healthy way. You are more than your condition and you have as much chance as I have of having a happy love life. All the best.

jennybean

Your lookin for perfection :-) nothin wrong with that.

LegacyUser

Dr. Nash used logic to counter his mental afflictions, perhaps you might consider doing the same? Consider the type of requirements you're setting for relationships, and ask yourself how likely it will be that someone else will find you to be perfect in every way. Perhaps this might help you to realize that such unrealistic standards are unreasonable, and allow you to stop finding such small details so consuming?

LegacyUser

Hi OP

All I have to say here is that in my experience as a secondary school teacher, some of my most favourite students I ever had were people with Asberger's. Sure, they had their "quirks"- but who doesn't? Of course yours might seem more pronounced, but you will find someone that finds these endearing, or at the very least just accepts that they are part of who you are. But for some reason that I still haven't discovered, my experience with these students have all been positive- I never ONCE had bad words with them (and believe me, most teenagers annoy their teachers at an alarming rate!) I guess I figured out quickly enough what bothered them, and so avoided that as much as possible. Someone you get to know well will do that for you too. Don't beat yourself up about getting annoyed by little things. Plenty of people feel that way and were never diagnosed with Asberger's!

It will be difficult for you to ignore the things that annoy you about the other person though, and it might be good to come up with ways to work off these irritations- like going for a run, a swim, just removing yourself from the situation for a while.

Best of luck OP, you'll be fine!