Help moving on

blackbird20

Hello,
My long distance boyfriend broke up with me a bit more than three months ago. We were together for about 8 months. It started beautiful, as it always does, and because I work abroad we couldn't meet much but we talked every day, we shared everything and we we had a wonderful holiday together in December.
Last March he told me through skype that he had been drunk at a party and almost kissed a girl. He was crying when he told me, and I appreciated him telling me. I thought he just wanted me to trust him. I said it didn't matter as long as this situation didn't happen again but I became a bit mistrustful. When things finally got better and I thought we were past that he told me it was too hard for him to go on and we should break up. I asked him if it was because of the other girl, he said no, and that he still cared about me.
What's making this hard is that I feel it's all my fault. I was a bit moody and got upset at him sometimes through the course of our relationship so I wonder if I caused this. I should also say that I told him I wasn't comfortable having sex with him yet. Though he had said in the beginning he was okay with that. Not that we didn't do anything in the bedroom, and online. But he seemed upset that I wouldn't sleep with him easily when all his friend's girlfriends didn't have a problem with that.
Towards the end though, everything seemed to be fine. He told me nice things and acted like he always did, kept saying yes to all the plans we had made, so his decision took me by surprise.
Even when I unfriended him from fb I explained that I just couldn't be friends for now, it was too painful and I think one of the things that makes it hard to go on, is that he said that I'm an amazing person and one day he hopes to be the kind of man that I deserve. It confused me, and it does even now.
A few days or weeks later, I cannot be sure, he was together with the girl. They have been together all summer, but if mutual friends ask him about it, he says they are just friends and he's not ready for anything yet.
I feel mad at myself because I still had hopes, but friends told me there's pictures of them kissing online and that I shouldn't fool myself.
I don't understand why he said those things or if I could have done things better...
Any advice would be appreciated, thanks!

SarahMs

To be honest, I don't think you will ever understand. People are always going to do things that we will spend ages trying to figure out and we drive ourselves crazy trying to understand.

Having broke up with my ex recently, my advice would be just accept it. He did things that weren't ok and maybe vice versa, but thats life.If he is sending you mixed signals, ask him straight out what his story is. If He has someone else, be happy for him and try and move on. Keep the game face on girl, worst thing you can do is let it slip

chicken fingers

Its the sex thing. I will try to give a young, imperfect males POV on this.

Its a rare sort that will wait 8 months without having sex, I know I will get some flak for saying this, but that can make a relationship very difficult after so long.
He has "needs" (some would call it desires and they might be right), as a young man he probably was very fond of you but might have thought that you didn't consider him suitable for a fully sexual relationship and were holding out for a better offer.

Then looks like another girl comes on the scene and he thinks, well if Im not getting any here Im off to this new girl.
Sex could be as important to him as all of the loving caring romance in the world is to you.
Other stuff in the bedroom doesn't really compare, it would just make the sex more of an issue tbh.