Impotence and stress?

LegacyUser

I've been seeing a guy for the last month and i am a little disappointed with our sex life. He doesn't seem very responsive and i cant stimulate him. last night he said he was tired, i asked if everything was ok and he said fine, we can do stuff in the morning. same thing happened this morning, i felt like i was bothering him and he didn't seem into it. it has never happened before to me with a guy. we are both late twenties. he said he is a bit stressed at the moment. i thought sex was meant to be good for stress?
doesn't look good that things are this way so early on in a relationship

has it happened to anyone else here, do you think it is stress or may be something else? i asked him if he was depressed but i don't want to pry too much. he might have a low sex drive maybe?

Wibbs

If he's healthy enough, not a big drinker or smoker etc and with no underlying medical problems then yea stress could well be it. Nothing can take the lead out of ones pencil quicker. Certainly has with me when I've been stressed.

Ickle Magoo

Could he just be very nervous? Nothing worse than performance issues compounding more performance issues and leading to a reticence to even try for fear of the same thing happening.

Why not have a chat about how he's feeling and what's happening - but make sure it's outside the bedroom - and see if it's just a bit of reassurance about how you feel and how he's doing in other respects that he needs?

LegacyUser

Stress this early in a relationship?

If he's not banging down your door at this stage I'd be pretty worried tbh.

It is possible it is stress but life is pretty stressful and long and if this is going to be his form when he's stressed...well, is it worth it?

Sounds a bit of a fob off to be OP I'm afraid. Time to put your thinking cap on.

lau1247

could it be work or financial issue?? sometimes it's hard to concentrate when you have a lot of thoughts running through the head

LegacyUser

Yep could well be stress and depression. Its happened to me. And the fact its early stages in the relationship only makes it more difficult - youre not familiar and comfortable with each other yet.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replys. well i took the step and called it over a spat we had. well it was sort of mutual but i didnt try to fight for it, didn't mention the impotence thing but said that i don't think we are in the same boat anyway. i really don't think much was going to change so it is best to bail out now before we get too involved. sex is important to me and if there are no fireworks now, well i don't think there will be much when he has barely touched me beyond hand holding or even snogged for long, makes me feel a bit unsexy too. i am just not used to it as usually guys get up on the brush of a feather from my experience!

Vicxas

Ive been through something similar with my current girlfriend, and it is majorily down to stress and worry.

And it is tough for guys to talk about this with anyone, let alone their OH. They dont wanna feel like less of a man and this would be quite immasculating. I suggest maybe asking him in a nice way if theres anything stressing him out and see if theres anything you can do. I found getting stuff off my chest redirected the ol bloodflow

LegacyUser

I went through this experience with my OH for 8 months. We are now broken up. This was a horrible experience. I saw his confidence disappear and eventually he couldnt handle it anymore. He broke up with me and is now seeking counselling for his impotence. He is only 28. It got to the stage that he said he was stressed at the idea of coming over to my house knowing he would not be able to perform. I would not wish this on any relationship. We are both miserable apart but know that it's not healthy for either of us.If i had known a month into the relationship that this problem would plague us i would not have let it get to this stage. I miss him and everyday is hard but i can't imagine what he is going through.

Best of Luck

zimmermania

You were an item for a month,it strikes me that this guy may have had a previous experience when he could not get it up or maybe keep it up and as a result was nervous about "failing" again

Maple

OP hasn't been back to this thread in days and it also appears the issue has been resolved as she has broken up with the man in question.

Thread locked.

Maple