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ex's best mate dilemma

  • 12-08-2011 6:12pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'll keep this short and sweet but basically I have been broken up with someone now for almost three years. In the meantime he has had girlfriends etc and has moved on. Problem is, i got to know his best mate when I was going out with him and we got on great. Then after we broke up, i kept bumping into his mate through other mutual friends of ours and it turns out as a result, that we see each other a good bit now.

    So here lies the problem, we both have really really fallen for one another, but the guy in question says he can't do anything about it even though he would love to because he his best mate's with my ex. Also, just to add, I'm chat to my ex occasionally and it's all really amicable still.

    Despite him maintaining his loyalty to his best mate, he flirts so much with me when we are together and one drunken night, I happened to kiss a guy that is a friend of his, and I heard afterwards that he was upset about this.

    Does anyone have any suggestions or advice as to what I should do in this situation...?


Comments

  • #2
    sxl039
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭sxl039


    You should tell the one that you actually like to ask his friend if its okay for him to be dating you. If he won't do that, he's not really looking for anything in particular. And he's not as into you as you might be thinking.

    His words shouldn't contradict his actions.

    I hope this gave you some idea.


  • #3
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    Your ex has clearly moved on - how long were you dating for? It sounds like he wouldn't be that bothered by it to be honest.

    Ask the guy you like to ask his friend if it's ok, as slx039 suggested.


  • #4
    Wompa1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,193 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    For lack of a better term "Bro's before Ho's" The guy is a good friend. I would be pretty pissed off if a friend of mine got with an ex. It's betrayal. There's billions of women in the world, why would he have to go for my ex....but that's just how I see it. Fair play to him. Do you not feel odd going after an ex's friend?


  • #5
    sxl039
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭sxl039


    Why would you feel odd going after an ex? You're broken up, clearly something wasn't working, and if you guys still had feelings, and worked it out, he wouldn't be an ex.

    The fishes in the sea are an option for everybody except for those that are married or in a relationship.


  • #6
    WANTStoWORK
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭WANTStoWORK


    itcudbemagic! wrote: »
    I'll keep this short and sweet but basically I have been broken up with someone now for almost three years. In the meantime he has had girlfriends etc and has moved on. Problem is, i got to know his best mate when I was going out with him and we got on great. Then after we broke up, i kept bumping into his mate through other mutual friends of ours and it turns out as a result, that we see each other a good bit now.

    So here lies the problem, we both have really really fallen for one another, but the guy in question says he can't do anything about it even though he would love to because he his best mate's with my ex. Also, just to add, I'm chat to my ex occasionally and it's all really amicable still.

    Despite him maintaining his loyalty to his best mate, he flirts so much with me when we are together and one drunken night, I happened to kiss a guy that is a friend of his, and I heard afterwards that he was upset about this.

    Does anyone have any suggestions or advice as to what I should do in this situation...?

    I am wondering who is most important to your BF at the moment, you or his best friend...


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