Making up a friendship-worth it?

lazygal

I've had a falling out with a good friend. She has, for reasons genuinely unknown to me, "phased me out" and I really miss her friendship and company. But I also feel like she is very hard work and part of me doens't miss having to pander to her.

I married recently and decided to invite her too my wedding, which she attended. I thought we might patch things up after this but no joy. I think, based on a few things, she might want to patch things up too but I know she finds it difficult to broach things like this.

I'm angry with her for creating this tension, and part of me thinks "Feck it, you're the one who had or has a problem with me or the friendship, it's up to you to fix it" but I also think maybe I should be the bigger person and try to talk to her.

I guess I've given into her on a few things though, throughout our friendship, and this is the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Has anyone tackled any issues like this?

Starokan

personally i would leave it to her to come to you, obviously enough of the friendship remains for you to invite her to the wedding and for her to attend but sometimes friendships are like a marriage they run their course for whatever reason.

im guessing from your post that you have already made efforts to rebuild the friendship and it hasnt happened. Give it time and if regular contact is re-established then pehaps you can someday discuss the reasons for the falling out.

Kidchameleon

Maybe she's jealous that things are going well for you at the moment?

LegacyUser

You dont allude as to why ye are no longer friends and so for now your story is very one sided. I have seen too may girls forget about their friends as soon as they fall in love and so until you give specific examples, I would say stop blaming your friend and have a look beyond the surface to see why ye fell out.

Lazarus2.0

If you dont know why she has "phased you out" you cant be sure that she has created the tension . People talk and things get twisted etc so an inocuous remark can travel down the line and become a war declaration etc . Obviously I'm not saying that's the case here - just trying to make the point that great mountains out of molehills grow . As mentioned earlier she might just resent you having someone more important in your life . People are very fickle and dont always react well to being 'demoted' .

You clearly care enough to want to keep the friendship going . I'd ask the friend what's up - a true friend will respond to that and clear the air , they'll stand their ground or hold their hands up . A false friend will storm off in a huff , invariably .

I hope you get your friend back - hubbies are great (I'm a hubby myself ) but friendship is important too and shouldnt be just let slide . It pains me when I think of the people I've walked away from and allowed walk away from me just through being too bloody stubborn .