The Four Yorkshiremen game

FinnLizzy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

Basically, use this thread to exaggerate your working class childhood in the same way Monty Python did.

"Kids these days! Getting lifts to school with either the bus or car! Back in my day our two options were the road of rusty nails or the road of hot coal!"

(Mine's a bit weak, but I'm sure something funny with come of this)

Dangerous Man

Cars? HA! LUXURY! Back in my day - we were raped to school.

watna

I had to walk to school in bare feet wearing a sack, after a breakfast of bread crusts and water. It was uphill on the way there and uphill on the way back and it was always snowing, no matter what time of year it was.

Dangerous Man

watna wrote: »

I had to walk to school in bare feet wearing a sack, after a breakfast of bread crusts and water. It was uphill on the way there and uphill on the way back and it was always snowing, no matter what time of year it was.

Bread crusts and water? You were lucky. When I was a young 'un we had to walk to school in bare feet - backwards through freezing snow - and eat broken lumps of glass. And we were GRATEFUL.

MrStuffins

I died at the age of 5

Saila

Dangerous Man wrote: »

Bread crusts and water? You were lucky. When I was a young 'un we had to walk to school in bare feet - backwards through freezing snow - and eat broken lumps of glass. And we were GRATEFUL.

school! we had to walk 12 miles, to the middle of a quarry, find charcoal and mine flat slate to scratch the lessons into, while being cursed at by old women, and eat our lunch out of dead sheeps stomachs in the field next to us, kids today..

Degag

We had to eat our own shíte in case any nourishment got away.

mikemac

Like everyone here I also walked barefoot to school, too poor to afford shoes and of course uphill both ways

No heating in the school so we'd bring a sod of turf for the fireplace
Also a head of cabbage or I'd snag a turnip to sell to pay my school fees

Best Christmas ever was when I got a lump of coal, I felt like a King

Fago!

We used to have to push our car to school because we couldn't afford petrol, or tires... or a frame, or seats. Basically me just pushing my family to school on a skateboard from Dublin to Galway. The times we got to school and forgot it was bank holiday were the worst... I still ged teary eyed when I remember those locked gates.

We also got hand-me-down chalkboards instead of copy books, paper was too expensive. Never could afford chalk either, had to scrape our abc's with our fingernails.

doomed

I 'ad to hop to school because th'family had eaten my right leg for christmas dinner - in august -we could only afford an 8 month year.

Duggy747

A string and a piece of chewing gum were our "video consoles"

We couldn't afford electricity so me Pa made some by stealing shoe laces and tying them together very quickly.

We had to sell 2/3rd's of a donkey to get rope that was 2 years long so we could bathe in the local well.

There was no water back then since it hadn't been invented so we had to climb into the well and spit on each other to wash ourselves.

After our baths we would then run 83 and a 1/2 miles home in our shoes made of nettles since when it came to Xmas dinner we would kill and roast the fattest sibling, twas always a good way me Pa made sure we kept in shape.

Yep, living in Co. Roscommon in 2009 was harsh....

policarp

Thems was tough times back then all right.
If you borrowed a little bit of Trevellians corn
after the spuds rotted in the ground, you were
treated to a free trip on a cruise liner and an
extended holiday in Australia.
It's no wonder so many of us got involved in
petty crime to avail of these perks, back then.

biko

It was 10 miles to school and 20 miles home.
And always snowing, you'd have to dig your way through the snow and ice using classmates that frozen stiff.

4Sheets

Bloody Luxury.I had to get up at 8 am and go this school place.They would keep us there for 8 hrs a day 5 days a week..I missed my family so.These wardens would try to brainwash with hieroglyphics nonsense like x+2= 2.Some of my friends never recovered and will be stupid for the rest of their naturals...
No fancy iphones for us Oh no..if we wanted to talk to our friends we had to use a ****ing ilandline !!
Ah but we where happy in our own **** in those days...... literally we build the house from excrement.!

FinnLizzy

4Sheets wrote: »

Bloody Luxury.I had to get up at 8 am and go this school place.They would keep us there for 8 hrs a day 5 days a week..I missed my family so.These wardens would try to brainwash with hieroglyphics nonsense like x+2= 2.Some of my friends never recovered and will be stupid for the rest of their naturals...
No fancy iphones for us Oh no..if we wanted to talk to our friends we had to use a ****ing ilandline !!
Ah but we where happy in our own **** in those days...... literally we build the house from excrement.!

You were lucky! We had to get up two hours before sleeping, carry a large rock 20 miles (20 km if we were lucky) to school. But it wasn't really a school, it was more like a quarry where we had to carry more rocks!
And if we wanted to call our friends, we had to catch a pigeon!

4Sheets

FinnLizzy wrote: »

You were lucky! We had to get up two hours before sleeping, carry a large rock 20 miles (20 km if we were lucky) to school. But it wasn't really a school, it was more like a quarry where we had to carry more rocks!
And if we wanted to call our friends, we had to catch a pigeon!

posh gits with your rocks..we had no rocks..we had to painstakingly glue sand particles together to make a rock! There was only ever one rock made that I ever seen..that was a special day for the whole 659 of us in the family!

hondasam

we lived so far from the school it took us four hours to walk there through fields and rivers on a monday morning.we slept in the school shed and made the long trek home again on friday night arriving home at 7pm tired dirty and hungry. I don't think our parents liked us much because we did this for nine years.

Cicero

My dads Mercedes 600 that he used to bring us to school in was 2 years old....2 f**'in years old......the embarrassment of it all....even now it hurts...:(

policarp

Cicero wrote: »

My dads Mercedes 600 that he used to bring us to school in was 2 years old....2 f**'in years old......the embarrassment of it all....even now it hurts...:(

We were so poor we couldn't even afford a butler.

Cicero

policarp wrote: »

We were so poor we couldn't even afford a butler.

you intended to pay your butler?

policarp

Cicero wrote: »

you intended to pay your butler?

Minimum wage only of course.
But that wasn't the main reason we had to let him go.
He used to make his own brand of chocolates and we
coultn't afford to buy the special cocoa needed, to
justify keeping him on. . .

4Sheets

We had to get up without lying down.Our mother who was also our father would drop kick us from our cave to school a distance of 40 KM.The school was adequate apart from never having any teachers.At 4 o clock we would leave and play foot.We had no ball.Our Father who also our Aunt would cook supper for us..but he never could divide the grain of rice equally and so violence would ensue.Our Mother who was also our Uncle would lose patient with us and dropkick us to the moon till we quietened down.
Oh but we are happy then -mostly because being miserable was heavily taxed.

Sarky

A whole grain of rice? You were lucky, at least it's organic. In my day we had to make do with boiled gravel.

Cicero

4Sheets wrote: »

At 4 o clock we would leave and play foot..

Ah..so you had a footman...things couldn't have been that bad so....:)

policarp

Sarky wrote: »

A whole grain of rice? You were lucky, at least it's organic. In my day we had to make do with boiled gravel.

Not so bad if it's pea gravel.

Cicero

policarp wrote: »

Not so bad if it's pea gravel.

i hope those peas were picked and frozen within a 2 hour period

policarp

Cicero wrote: »

i hope those peas were picked and frozen within a 2 hour period

Aye Aye.
Cptn. Birdseye. . .

And when we got battered, kicked and punched at school, those same frozen peas were the only source of relief we had for our bruised and broken bones. . .