Is it normal to hold onto ridiculous things for sentimental reasons?

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Moved in with OH recently. Or more like he moved in with me. No, wait, he moved in with me along with his apartment full of stuff plus a whole roomful of stuff from his parents house. And not just stuff, USELESS stuff. Clothes he hasn't worn in over a year (but they're still good), furniture and delf that we don't need (but they're still good) and worst of all, all of his childhood toys and books. He's going on 26 like. I moved in with basically clothes, shoes, a few books and a few musical instruments. If I haven't used/worn something in over 6 months, it goes to the charity shop. He can't understand why I have a problem with all of his stuff and says he wants to keep them because they have sentimental value. He can't bear to part with toys and books that haven't seen the light of day in over 10 years. He just HAS to know that they're there. I think they'd be better off in a charity shop where someone will get some use out of them. Ugh, sorry for the rant but it pisses the hell out of me that we're now living in a 4 bedroom house with only 3 bedrooms useable (no 4 is jammers with his boxes). I drew the line at his mammoth collection of bills dating back 5 years and it took him 2 days to go through them and rip them up. He thinks I'm being unreasonable..... Aaaargh!

Jaafa

He is a man. This is normal.

Bipolar Joe

Of course it is, why the Hell would any one have photographs otherwise?

dr.bollocko

I hold onto my penis for sentimental reasons.
But I do invite others to do the same also.

hasnt worn in 6 months so gets thrown out? so you're making him throw out winter clothes??
i wouldnt throw out bills either, they should go in a filing box
some people hoard too much but maybe you are overdoing it

Solnskaya

it certainly is. I have my hand down my jocks most days, looking to hold onto my balls, for sentimental reasons, 'cause lately, the whole world seems determined to break them.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Of course it is, why the Hell would any one have photographs otherwise?

Photos I can understand but inanimate objects that don't have any particular sentimental values, like not souvenirs in particular I can't. And clothes that don't ever get worn and that are tattered and don't fit anymore I can't understand either.

Bipolar Joe

Photographs are memories imprinted on something you and everyone else can clearly see. Sentimental objects are memories surrounding a particular object. Don't make a man throw away his memories.

Latchy

Nowt wrong with holding on to some items of clothing ,like even though I buy new shirts I'm still fond of some old ones and tops which is like having an old friend around .It's the same with some items of memoribilia but it can get excessive with some people .

I do know one girl, a nurse who went to live in small high story apartment and took enough furniture ,clothes ,etc to fill two large houses but what was even strange was most of her furniture was left over from her grannys ...pre 1960s style

Mickeroo

I've held on to all my books, cds, dvds and from when I was a kid pretty much. Hell my bedroom at my parents house still looks the same as it did when I was 16. I've considered maybe donating my books to a local library as I like the idea of other people reading them but at the same time I like having a collection. Don't really keep old clothes(getting rid after 6 mths is a bit much though) and bills though! Your husband's behaviour doesn't sound that weird really, for the books and things like that you should tell him to get some shelving, there's nothing nicer in a house than having shelves full of books, films and music, adds a bit of character to place imho

Oh and you shouldn't call stuff that's important to your husband ridiculous :pac:

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Latchy wrote: »

Nowt wrong with holding on to some items of clothing ,like even though I buy new shirts and tops I'm still fond of some old shirts and tops which is like having an old friend around .It's the same with some items of memoribilia but it can get excessive with some people .

I do know one girl, a nurse who went to live in small high story apartment and took enough furniture ,clothes ,etc to fill two large houses but what was even strange was most of her furniture was left over from her grannys ...pre 1960s style

Most of the furniture and delf are from his granny....

Sticky_Fingers

So the jist is that you move into his house and you want him to throw away his stuff because you want to have an extra usable room.

If I were him I'd be chucking something and it won't be my stuff.

Mickeroo

Sticky_Fingers wrote: »

So the jist is that you move into his house and you want him to throw away his stuff because you want to have an extra usable room.

If I were him I'd be chucking something and it won't be my stuff.

OP's post says he moved in with her

Agricola

The delf is alittle weird, everything else perfectly normal.

Throwing stuff to the charity stuff after 6 months is weird too....

Mike 1972

bluewolf wrote: »

some people hoard too much but maybe you are overdoing it

I suspect that in this instance both parties are guilty of overdoing it.

Mickeroo

Agricola wrote: »

The delf is alittle weird, everything else perfectly normal.

Not that weird if he was close to his grandmother though eh?

eirn

One of my friends can't get rid of anything. Helped her move once and she had a ton of stuff, everything from a bag of used plastic spoons (kept for sentimental reasons!), to clothes and shoes that her mum had given her that she didn't even like and had never worn and books she hadn't read and had no intention of reading.

She kept scratchy old towels because she'd had them the whole way through college, and wouldn't throw out her bedsheets even though her room had been infested with bedbugs.:eek:

She's a sweet, intelligent. generous girl, but she can't (won't) stop hoarding, she can't even understand why other people think it's a bit odd.

I think its perfectly reasonable to keep photos, letters, books and obviously any offical documents, but I can be fairly brutal about getting rid of anything else.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Agricola wrote: »

The delf is alittle weird, everything else perfectly normal.

Throwing stuff to the charity stuff after 6 months is weird too....

It's not that the clothes are only 6 months old, it's that they haven't actually been WORN in over 6 months. Or more. It's the boxes of toys and kids books I really can't get over though!

J K

It's a very deep psychological and spiritual purging to let go of and dispose of this hoarded pile. The hoarding is born out of insecurity and fear.

What you need to do is one day when he is out, build all these possessions into a big pile in the back garden. And set fire to them. Try and time it so he returns as the flames are in full roar. You will need to laugh to put him at ease. Cackle with laughter.

It's all part of the spiritual healing.

Mike 1972

J K wrote: »

What you need to do is one day when he is out, build all these possessions into a big pile in the back garden. And set fire to them. Try and time it so he returns as the flames are in full roar. You will need to laugh to put him at ease. Cackle with laughter. .

Are you big into this theft and criminal damage lark then ?

Saila

you've got a 4 bedroom house...so no, not yet.

emeraldstar

Darrell Fit Mousetrap wrote: »

It's not that the clothes are only 6 months old, it's that they haven't actually been WORN in over 6 months. Or more. It's the boxes of toys and kids books I really can't get over though!

I really don't get the problem. No way is six months a long time to not wear an item of clothing. I have clothes that haven't been worn in a lot longer than that but I know I will wear them. The books too; I can't throw away a book and still have every one I've ever owned. When I have my own house I'll have a library/study for them.

stupidusername

OP, how many people are there living in your house? if it's just the two then the space thing surely isn't an issue. seems to me what you're really bothered about is that the house isn't yours anymore, and you can't have control over everything in it.

but yeah tbh it sounds a little over the top. I don't keep much sentimental stuff, in fact the only thing i can think with any sentiment to it is my mothers engagement ring. but even so, you do have to respect him if he wants to hold on to it. maybe you should consider chatting to him about it, and see if there's any stuff he's ok with throwing out. for all you know he might be meaning to get rid of some.

dr.bollocko wrote: »

I hold onto my penis for sentimental reasons.
But I do invite others to do the same also.

what sentiment do you expect others to hold your penis with?

treborflynn

YES

Agricola

Darrell Fit Mousetrap wrote: »

It's not that the clothes are only 6 months old, it's that they haven't actually been WORN in over 6 months. Or more. It's the boxes of toys and kids books I really can't get over though!

I realize that. But I have clothes in the wardrobe I havent worn in years. Ya just never know!

Toys, well it depends on the toys. I have a few collectors items that I wouldnt bin either. I would also hold onto certain toys that have a special meaning (present from a dead relative etc) but I wouldnt hold onto boxes of everything Ive owned.

He is just a hoarder though.

mattjack

Mickeroo wrote: »

Not that weird if he was close to his grandmother though eh?

it would be if his grandmother came with the delph..............

fro9etb8j5qsl2

No, it's not space that's the issue but it's not control either. It's just that it bugs the sh1t out of me having a whole room piled high with boxes of mismatched stuff that will never be used. Maybe it's just me but I don't see any point in having stuff that's NEVER used.

recylingbin

stupidusername wrote: »

what sentiment do you expect others to hold your penis with?

disdain

Bipolar Joe

It's used, just not in a way you recognise.

Teyla Emmagan

Ah Matt, at last someone who can spell delph..

It does sound like he has a little too much stuff OP, but maybe he has nowhere else to keep it? My parents have a pile of my childhood stuff in their attic and all the books I read before I was 25 that I wanted to keep (so only 500 then), and a big wardrobe of junk in what used to be my room.

You should see it as a compliment, he's coming to you bags, baggage and all If he had only arrived with a clean pair of jocks and a toothbrush you might have more to be worried about.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

It's used, just not in a way you recognise.

How so, if it's all thrown in a box and never taken out even to be looked at? If that's the case then wouldn't the memory of having the thing be just as good as having the thing itself?

Anyway, I mentioned it to him a while ago and he got fiercer defensive and accused me of being possessive and jealous that he has more stuff than me.... I give up!!

Mickeroo

mattjack wrote: »

it would be if his grandmother came with the delph..............

What like an urn or something? I'm not sure I follow.

stupidusername

Darrell Fit Mousetrap wrote: »

Anyway, I mentioned it to him a while ago and he got fiercer defensive and accused me of being possessive and jealous that he has more stuff than me.... I give up!!

that's the spirit!

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Ah Matt, at last someone who can spell delph..

It does sound like he has a little too much stuff OP, but maybe he has nowhere else to keep it? My parents have a pile of my childhood stuff in their attic and all the books I read before I was 25 that I wanted to keep (so only 500 then), and a big wardrobe of junk in what used to be my room.

You should see it as a compliment, he's coming to you bags, baggage and all If he had only arrived with a clean pair of jocks and a toothbrush you might have more to be worried about.

We have plenty of attic space but he still refuses to put the stuff up there!

Valentina

Normal? Yes, I think so.
Healthy? Well I don't know.

My mum died when I was young and I have held onto almost everything she gave me, whether I still have use for it or not. I also have inherited a great deal of her possessions which I find very difficult to part with, no matter how rational I try to be.

Maybe one day I will be able to sort through all the stuff but right now I'm just not ready.

Teyla Emmagan

Darrell Fit Mousetrap wrote: »

We have plenty of attic space but he still refuses to put the stuff up there!

He will once he settles, it's only been a short while. And in the meantime the stuff makes him feel comfortable I guess. It could be a lot worse, you still have 2 spare bedrooms!

Ditch

Grand relationship ye have there, Mrs P. Ye've barely got together and here ye are, ripping him a new one, behind his back, in public :rolleyes:

What next? He'll be leaving the seat up? Lid off the tooth paste? Picking his nose?!

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when ye first, mutual, bill comes in .....

carlybabe1

dr.bollocko wrote: »

I hold onto my penis for sentimental reasons.
But I do invite others to do the same also.

you invite others to hold onto thiers orrrrrrr??????

Sticky_Fingers wrote: »

So the jist is that you move into his house and you want him to throw away his stuff because you want to have an extra usable room.

If I were him I'd be chucking something and it won't be my stuff.

ehhh no, he moved in with her. If its just the two of u I dont see the problem with him havin a room to store the stuff, its obviously important to him.

Tar.Aldarion

dunno some people are very sentimental, for instance, me! I'd keep silly stuff like a conker that reminds me of a great day with my gf and all sorts of silly little things like that, my pockets do be a treasure trove of ****e. I don't keep things forever, just for a while. at the same time i wouldnt keep cinema tix or concert tix, just special **** things! dunno things that would make you smile or whatever when you see em.

used to be really bad with clothes etc but am not now, gave away 3 bin bags of clothes this year, big step on teh road to recovery

Novella

I know this probably will sound crazy to some, but I have shoe boxes filled with silly little things like toys from Kinder Eggs people have given to me, letters written in school, bar mats from pubs where a great night was had etc., and I just like to hang on to 'em.

Every so often, when I open a box, it's like stepping back in time. Reminds me of all of the good times and it's nice to have when maybe the bad is more prominent.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Ditch wrote: »

Grand relationship ye have there, Mrs P. Ye've barely got together and here ye are, ripping him a new one, behind his back, in public :rolleyes:

What next? He'll be leaving the seat up? Lid off the tooth paste? Picking his nose?!

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when ye first, mutual, bill comes in .....

Ah sure didnt I rip him a new one to his face first and then told him I was gonna out him and his hoarding ways on boards.... Nothing I wouldn't say to his face like!