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Dealing with my friends

  • 09-08-2011 12:41pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi I'm a 21 year old girl and I've just moved back in with some of my friends. I lived with them for a few months about 2 years ago but the next year we all ended up living separately (just for convenience etc.) and last year I lived abroad last year. I have changed and grown up quite a bit in the past 2 years and they don't seem to have. Now I know things change and friends move on but it's not that we don't get on, I still adore them.

    The thing is they seem to not respect my views or anything. I'm a relativley strict vegetarian and I constantly get "Would you just stop being stupid and eat normal food." or they scoff at me when I express interest in enviornmental or social issues. They (well, one of them in particular) thinks my life is going to be worthless becuase I don't think I want children. Now I know some of that sounds bad but I mean it's not all the time but when this stuff comes out it does upset me.

    We also have different styles. They would be relativley fashionable. If they ask me for opinions on whether they look good or not I answer honestly and kindly even if the stuff isn't what I'd wear or even if I don't like it. If I ask I usually get "Well it doesn't look as shít as I thought" or "I wouldn't say I like it but it's 'you'". They're just imature and insensitive. I've tried telling them they upset me soemtimes but they think I'm messing.

    The last thing is that they (the one I'm closer too in particular) have such negative body images. It's so upsetting to me that they hate themselves so much. I know it's a common problem and I would have a "better" figure than, which they constantly remind me. But they are both better looking and attract far more attention and it's not to say I'm 100% happy with my body but listening to the utter disgust in their voices when they talk about themselves. I try telling them how gorgues they are but they don't listen.

    Can anyone help me with dealing with this? I know put together these things sound pretty bad but they really are good friends, it's just living with them full time and sociallizing with them it's getting pretty upseting. Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Chuchoter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Chuchoter


    To be honest it sounds like you and your friends have really grown apart. Maybe in the past they were really good friends, but now they just seem a bit shallow and mean. From your post, you seem to be someone who is fairly alternative in the scheme of Irish people (I mean that in a good way) but these girls kind of seem like your average obsessed with clothes etc Irish girl.

    On the other hand, be careful you aren't becoming one of these people who go out of their way to be different and worldly. Being around someone who is constantly giving you dirty looks for eating meat or always going off on a rant about social/environmental issues is not fun. I'm not saying you are doing this, I obviously don't know you, but keep an eye on your own behavior too.


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