Have you ever gone for poetry over porn?

AskMyChocolate

Okay,

So you're absolutely hammered drunk,you arrive home, and ordinarily it's straight to xhamster, but, sometimes, you go for poetry.

What do you go for? I'm not much of a hipster. I tend to go for the mainstream classics. IF by Kipling, 1913 by Yeats, Raglan Road by Kavanagh (preferably done by Sinead O'Connor, yeah yeah I know she's a hipster)


So, AHers (if you weren't ghey), what do you go for poetry-wise?

*back to xhamster*

Messi2

No. GTFO.

Mr. Denton

Yeah I love a bit of Advent by Kavanagh when I need something to **** off to.

chin_grin

Animal Farm (oh f*ck it's not poetry!).

Mint Sauce

Are you hammered now AskMyChocolate?

Dangerous Man

Pretty much anything by Yeats.

MajorMax

What rough beast, it's hour come at last,
slouches towards Bethlehem to be born

CardBordWindow

I will arise and go now
And go to fap fap fap!

elefant

Robert Frost hits the spot.

starbelgrade

Xhamster sounds like the act of using a pet as a **** sock.

pablomakaveli

Oh drunken poet,
who returned alone
No lusty female
to bring to home

But for this lonely voyager
all is not bad
in front of the laptop
holding his lad

With Jenna, Briana
and females galore
watching all night
while they act like whores

And when he says goodbye
to his hard throbbing horn
he can always be grateful
that he has his porn

Standard Toaster

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
And he said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it."

Badgermonkey

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a gee

AskMyChocolate

Mr. Denton wrote: »

Yeah I love a bit of Advent by Kavanagh when I need something to **** off to.

I'd leave the "dry black bread" alone folks. That ain't butter. Could I interest you in a sugarless tea?

Dangerous Man

MajorMax wrote: »

What rough beast, it's hour come at last,
slouches towards Bethlehem to be born

Probably my favourite Yeats poem. Dense but rewarding stuff.

Mr. Denton

Oh freddled gruntbuggly
thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
see if I don't!
- Anonymous

TanG411

I like to give it a good hard booking at night.

AskMyChocolate

irish-stew wrote: »

Are you hammered now AskMyChocolate?

Is that one of them Haiku things?:pac:

teol

James Joyce perhaps?

To NORA
Dublin 6 December 1909
………………………………..
I would like you to wear drawers with three or four frills one over the other at the knees and up the thighs and great crimson bows in them, I mean not schoolgirls' drawers with a thin shabby lace border, thigh round the legs and so thin that the flesh shows with a full loose bottom and wide legs, all frills and lace and ribbons, and heavy with perfume so that whenever you show them, whether in pulling up your clothes hastily to do something or cuddling yourself up prettily to be blocked, I can see only a swelling mass of white stuff and frills and so that when I bend down over you to open them and give you a burning lustful kiss on your naughty bare bum I can smell the perfume of your drawers as well as the warm odour of your **** and the heavy smell of your behind.

Have I shocked you by the dirty things I wrote to you? You think perhaps that my love is a filthy thing. It is, darling, at some moments. I dream of you in filthy poses sometimes. I imagine things so very dirty that I will not write them until I see how you write yourself. The smallest things give me a great cockstand - a whorish movement of your mouth, a little brown stain on the seat of your white drawers, a sudden dirty word spluttered out by your wet lips, a sudden immodest noise made by you behind and then a bad smell slowly curling up out of your backside. At such moments I feel mad to do it in some filthy way, to feel your hot lecherous lips sucking away at me, to **** between your two rosy-tipped bubbies, to come on your face and squirt it over your hot cheeks and eyes, to stick it between the cheeks of your rump and bugger you.

Basta per stasera!

I hope you got my telegram and understood it.

Goodbye, my darling whom I am trying to degrade and deprave. How on God's earth can you possibly love a thing like me?

O, I am anxious to get your reply, darling!

JIM
http://loveletters.tribe.net/thread/fce72385-b146-4bf2-9d2e-0dfa6ac7142d

:eek:

Abi

Old mother hubbard,
went to the cupboard,
to fetch her dear doggy a bone;
when she bent over,
Rover came over,
and gave her a bone of his own.




.

AskMyChocolate

elefant wrote: »

Robert Frost hits the spot.

Yup. He's a bit like Kavanagh isn't he? Never got up his own hole. Simple.Genius.

Glad I put the full stop in. Period.

CiaranMT

Quite a racy one by Leonard Cohen:

need the speed
need the wine
need the pleasure
in my spine

need your hand
to pull me out
need your juices
on my snout

need to see
I never saw
your need for me
your longing raw

need to hear
I never heard
against my ear
your dirty word

need to have
you summon me
like moon above
the gathered sea

need to know
I never knew
the tidal towing
come from you

need to feel
I never felt
you magnet pulling
at my self

now it fades
now it's gone
hormonal rage
unquiet song

BOHtox

Roses are red
violets are blue
some poems ryhme
this one doesn't.

AskMyChocolate

starbelgrade wrote: »

Xhamster sounds like the act of using a pet as a **** sock.

That's what I thought. Until my eyes were opened. Through a chink that wide comes in little wonder.:pac:

Little enough poetry or petcare involved on the site.

*searches for xgerbil*

AskMyChocolate

pablomakaveli wrote: »

Oh drunken poet,
who returned alone
No lusty female
to bring to home

But for this lonely voyager
all is not bad
in front of the laptop
holding his lad

With Jenna, Briana
and females galore
watching all night
while they act like whores

And when he says goodbye
to his hard throbbing horn
he can always be grateful
that he has his porn

That's actually not that bad.

pragmatic1

Snoop Dogg and Dr Dre-Bitches aint ****.

AskMyChocolate

Mr. Denton wrote: »

Oh freddled gruntbuggly
thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
see if I don't!
- Anonymous

Pfft. Anonymous? If that's not Finnegan's quadrangle severing, then a wake so uprolling must be otherwise downward still upheld.



"Your game is flawed Norris"- James Joyce

Robert Browning.