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A letter to Enda

  • 07-08-2011 9:35pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,246 ✭✭✭


    This may have been posted before, lock if it has - an interesting view all the same.

    Posted on a friends FB page.
    Dear Mr. Kenny

    Please find below my suggestion for fixing the Irish economy.

    Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the
    money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

    You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

    There are about 400 thousand people over 50 in the work force.

    Pay them 1 million each severance for early retirement with the
    following stipulations:

    1) They MUST retire.
    400 thousand job openings - unemployment fixed

    2) They MUST buy a new car.
    400 thousand cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

    3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing
    Crisis fixed

    4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate
    fixed

    5) They MUST buy €100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
    And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

    It can't get any easier than that!

    P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of the Dail pay back

    their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

    If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

    Also;

    Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

    This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

    They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
    treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying
    it out.

    They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
    instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

    Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
    and returned to them.

    A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
    snacks to their cell.

    They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

    They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
    counselling, pool and education.

    Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on
    request.

    Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with
    gardens.

    Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

    There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
    would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

    The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
    Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and
    pay €600 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

    Think about this (more points of contention):

    COWS

    Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad
    cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Mayo
    almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept

    And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable
    to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.
    Maybe we should give each of them a cow.


    Also;

    Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of
    offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us
    grumpy old folk of Ireland to speak up!

    Yours sincerely,

    Fergus Hamill

    Phone 00353 (0)86 8309709


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    Jesus, that was doing the rounds in Britain when Thatcher was in power.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,246 ✭✭✭ardinn


    I tried but boards is gone all funny the past few days :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    ardinn wrote: »
    I tried but boards is gone all funny the past few days :(
    Judging by your OP, it hasn't.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 855 ✭✭✭joshrogan


    Posted in AH before.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Sticks head in... Sees cobwebs... Scratches head... Exits stage left.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,745 ✭✭✭laugh


    We don't have a car industry!?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable
    to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.
    Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

    :D brilliant!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    ardinn wrote: »
    I tried but boards is gone all funny the past few days :(

    No, there's defo something up with the search. Pain in the ass. :cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    Done already

    Locked


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