feeling down :(

LegacyUser

Im not even sure why im typing this piece or even what I hope to gain by it apart from venting some frustration! It was my birthday today and im only mid twenties. I know I have a lot of friends and received over 150 posts on facebook with good wishes but the only one I wanted was the one I didnt get. Im a guy and a girl who I really fancied and was my best friend didnt acknowledge it. I know she was on facebook because I saw the activity on her page.

We used to spend so much time together in college and I used to do so much for her and treat her like a princess while letting her treat me as she wished. I did so much for her and spent so much for her and now I realise she didnt appreciate anything...infact she used to sulk until id give in to her demands! I was in love with her, truth be told I still am....but I knew nothing would ever materialise between us and I am fine with that because i valued the friendship. She used to contact me 5 r 6 times a day and in our spare time between lectures we'd always be hanging out. It was her 21st a few months ago and I spent a few hundred euros on an amazing present for her. I used to give her lifts everywhere, bring her to expensive restuarants and in general pay for stuff eg she was flying away to England for a weekend, the bank was nearly closing so I offered to get her money transfered to sterling, brought her to the nearest hotel for something to eat(and paid), I knew she had no credit in her phone so got her some incase she'd need to call people, brought her to the train station and got her a bottle of water, some sweets and a magazine for the journey....she barely even said thanks.

I dont know why i bothered to write this,,,i just feel so upset she didnt wish me a happy bithday. Were both just finished college now and for the last 4 years I never went more than a day without hearing from her. We had a bit of a fallout before she went to america for the summer but i thougth we resolved that...apparently not!!

Sorry about the long post and thanks for taking the time to read it!!

miec

Hello Op

It is a sad fact that some people take serious advantage of us. The unfortunate thing is there was and is still an imbalance in your friendship with this girl. You deeply care for her and she does not for you. You have put her on a pedestal and hopefully she may be coming down from it. I've done this in the past for years and what it is about is you not feeling good enough so you overcompensate by giving when really you the person should be enough. Sooner or later you will need to cut ties with this girl if you are to have any peace of mind, or take her down of the pedestal and stop giving so much. It is also means letting her sulk.

Also really look at all those people who wished you well, that is a lot of people who wished you well. Try to spread your focus on who cares for you and visa versa.

LegacyUser

Hi OP

I can sympathise with you as I was in nearly the exact same position as you except im a girl and was in love with a guy. You sound like a nice, decent guy who deserves to be treated much better than this. I know the best option is to cut complete contact with this girl which sounds great in theory but when feelings are involved is far more difficult!!!

I think your main problem is that you have this girl on some sort of pedestal and she is fully aware of this this and is taking advantage. I getting the impression that she is a bit of a diva and loves attention?!! Do you really want to be with someone who will be ungrateful for everything? and im guessing you go out of your way to spoil her??

You say you're in love with her? I would argue you're in love with the idea of her being your girlfriend - the reality is a lot different. I also bet there are probably other girls who like you but you're not giving them a chance because all you want is her??

My advice to you OP is dont let her treat you disrespectfully....I know sooo many girls who would love to be looked after like you have with this particular girl and they would in return treat you so differently than she does to you.

Hope all works out well for you x

dr gonzo

Hi OP, you sound like a genuine and generous person but not only are you being completely used, you know it too. Take a step back, you might not want to but its necessary and if she wants more then phone credit out of you she'll come to her sense, otherwise good riddance.

Far easier said then done i know but it'll just continue to wreck your head if you dont get away from it for a bit.

Good luck buddy, it'll work out for the best