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What your Think of this story it written by my friend MIMI

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  • 07-08-2011 3:52pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 72 ✭✭


    The whole world was in a wild chaise. Posters were flying aimlessly carried by the cold winds, thorn from their safe shelter of walls or lampposts. They were all brothers and sisters made of paper with only one aim in mind. They all had the face of one person pasted on their white bodies. And they all had one large caption "MISSING PERSON". They all had the face of Helen Bliss printed above that eye-catching caption.

    The man who was responsible for the mass production of all those posters was sitting now behind his desk and contemplating. Adam Bliss was staring at one of the thousands of sheets that had his wife's beautiful smile drawn on them. The smile he would never see again. She was gone. He had made all those search posters and called all the help lines. He had talked to everyone who had last seen her and didn't sleep a second, lost in cold anticipation. He knew she wasn't coming back. Those around him constantly told him not to give up hope and he wasn't giving up anything. He had had no hope to begin with.

    Helen had gone missing about three months ago, Adam reckoned. It was like the ground had opened its greedy, endless mouth and swallowed her whole. No trace was found her past the day of her disappearance. The police as well as her family were simply baffled that such an immaculate escape could be possible. They scratched their heads and tried again, but there was no answer. Ever. After four weeks of nothing the search was halted and eventually forgotten. Helen Bliss was all but forgotten. Even her family seemed to take up the broken pieces of their lives and go on. The only one who seemed to remain broken was Adam. The multitude of memory shards still scattered everywhere and there was nothing to hold them together. Adam just let them drift apart. He just wanted to forget.

    His friends were becoming somehow concerned for Adam's sake. On the surface he seemed to be somehow ok with what had happened but he couldn't hide the devastating state that was a taught away from taking over him completely. His friends concluded that he was still deluding himself that she was still out there. That maybe, just maybe she will come back. He seemed to retreat in his delusions more and more each day. Yet he kept up with his work, and he perfected the art of facial expressions. That way he was able to lie about the mess that left havoc and desolation in its wake. He kept on going on, and he kept on ling. To those around him. To himself.

    Adam and Helen had set a printing company together. It was called "BLISS INK". They had both managed as best as they could. Business was slow at first but as time progressed the Bliss couple discovered that their income was steadily rising as well. Newspapers, magazines, books, you name it! They all needed printing companies and "Bliss Ink" was just as good as any. Things were different now. Only Adam was left to manage the work place and while it was not impossible he was in such a mess that he sometimes forgot what he was in the middle of doing. He had created the posters to take his mind of things and he used this opportunity to promote a new ink.

    He had worked on this new color die in secret when his wife was still with him. He wanted to perfect it and then surprise her with his ingenious creation. He had succeeded. The idea was unheard of and Helen was shocked well beyond words. He remembered the day he told her his idea. The day she "mysteriously disappeared". Helen's eyes widened in horror as Adam described the ingredients of the ink. It was a beautiful color. That of rubies and it shone like them too. When Helen had first laid eyes on it she had been transfixed and perplexed by its beauty. Now she was horrified by it. The secret ingredient was no other than human blood.

    Adam told Helen how there were so many people in society that nobody would miss. He had talked about them as if they were nothing more than things to be used as they pleased. The homeless man that sometimes slept at the company’s steps, the drunk woman that sometimes fell asleep at the entrance door from drinking so much, the newspaper boy who was known to offer his body for the money he so badly needed. The world was full of them, but now the there was one less drunk to worry about. Helen had stared at the ink for a full half a minute, but it seemed to be so much longer than that. The red liquid that was about to be used in books and magazines had once been alive coursing through the veins of a woman, who yes had had flaws, but who had most certainly had been alive. Then she looked at the eyes of her husband who she loved so much. And she saw nothing. No love, no pity, no hope. No humanity. Her husband had died. Only his body remained but that was not Adam talking to her. It was not him!

    She had tried to run away. Adam had killed somebody. He had actually ended someone’s life like he was blowing a candle. She was not safe. Adam had known this was how she will react. He remembered how hurt he felt when she had called him a monster and tried to rut towards the door. He remembered her shrill voice as he took hold of her and chained her with his overpowering arms. But most of all he remembered her final scream as he had run her body through the printing press. She had still been alive and she had been pulverized, feet first. Later that night without a trace of sorrow, Adam had collected the red, ruby like colored liquid and he used it the next day to create the posters.

    He was now looking at one of his creations, but he wasn't crying. He was smiling in delight at the beauty of the red that seemed to blind his sense. He had seen it once. He had to see it twice. He had to make more so he could see it always.

    The ink on the page was Bliss. In more than one way.

    THE END


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    It's not really a story. The action in this story is that a man sits at a desk. Everything else is him remembering stuff.

    It's one of those "Tales of the Unexpected" things that sound good, but could never happen. There is no way you could put a body through a printing press and get nothing but red fluid out. And I have doubts about blood as a printing medium.


  • Registered Users Posts: 714 ✭✭✭Livvie


    Weetbix wrote: »
    The whole world was in a wild chaise. Posters were flying aimlessly carried by the cold winds, thorn from their safe shelter of walls or lampposts. They were all brothers and sisters made of paper with only one aim in mind. They all had the face of one person pasted on their white bodies. And they all had one large caption "MISSING PERSON". They all had the face of Helen Bliss printed above that eye-catching caption.

    The man who was responsible for the mass production of all those posters was sitting now behind his desk and contemplating. Adam Bliss was staring at one of the thousands of sheets that had his wife's beautiful smile drawn on them. The smile he would never see again. She was gone. He had made all those search posters and called all the help lines. He had talked to everyone who had last seen her and didn't sleep a second, lost in cold anticipation. He knew she wasn't coming back. Those around him constantly told him not to give up hope and he wasn't giving up anything. He had had no hope to begin with.

    Helen had gone missing about three months ago, Adam reckoned. It was like the ground had opened its greedy, endless mouth and swallowed her whole. No trace was found her past the day of her disappearance. The police as well as her family were simply baffled that such an immaculate escape could be possible. They scratched their heads and tried again, but there was no answer. Ever. After four weeks of nothing the search was halted and eventually forgotten. Helen Bliss was all but forgotten. Even her family seemed to take up the broken pieces of their lives and go on. The only one who seemed to remain broken was Adam. The multitude of memory shards still scattered everywhere and there was nothing to hold them together. Adam just let them drift apart. He just wanted to forget.

    His friends were becoming somehow concerned for Adam's sake. On the surface he seemed to be somehow ok with what had happened but he couldn't hide the devastating state that was a taught away from taking over him completely. His friends concluded that he was still deluding himself that she was still out there. That maybe, just maybe she will come back. He seemed to retreat in his delusions more and more each day. Yet he kept up with his work, and he perfected the art of facial expressions. That way he was able to lie about the mess that left havoc and desolation in its wake. He kept on going on, and he kept on ling. To those around him. To himself.

    Adam and Helen had set a printing company together. It was called "BLISS INK". They had both managed as best as they could. Business was slow at first but as time progressed the Bliss couple discovered that their income was steadily rising as well. Newspapers, magazines, books, you name it! They all needed printing companies and "Bliss Ink" was just as good as any. Things were different now. Only Adam was left to manage the work place and while it was not impossible he was in such a mess that he sometimes forgot what he was in the middle of doing. He had created the posters to take his mind of things and he used this opportunity to promote a new ink.

    He had worked on this new color die in secret when his wife was still with him. He wanted to perfect it and then surprise her with his ingenious creation. He had succeeded. The idea was unheard of and Helen was shocked well beyond words. He remembered the day he told her his idea. The day she "mysteriously disappeared". Helen's eyes widened in horror as Adam described the ingredients of the ink. It was a beautiful color. That of rubies and it shone like them too. When Helen had first laid eyes on it she had been transfixed and perplexed by its beauty. Now she was horrified by it. The secret ingredient was no other than human blood.

    Adam told Helen how there were so many people in society that nobody would miss. He had talked about them as if they were nothing more than things to be used as they pleased. The homeless man that sometimes slept at the company’s steps, the drunk woman that sometimes fell asleep at the entrance door from drinking so much, the newspaper boy who was known to offer his body for the money he so badly needed. The world was full of them, but now the there was one less drunk to worry about. Helen had stared at the ink for a full half a minute, but it seemed to be so much longer than that. The red liquid that was about to be used in books and magazines had once been alive coursing through the veins of a woman, who yes had had flaws, but who had most certainly had been alive. Then she looked at the eyes of her husband who she loved so much. And she saw nothing. No love, no pity, no hope. No humanity. Her husband had died. Only his body remained but that was not Adam talking to her. It was not him!

    She had tried to run away. Adam had killed somebody. He had actually ended someone’s life like he was blowing a candle. She was not safe. Adam had known this was how she will react. He remembered how hurt he felt when she had called him a monster and tried to rut towards the door. He remembered her shrill voice as he took hold of her and chained her with his overpowering arms. But most of all he remembered her final scream as he had run her body through the printing press. She had still been alive and she had been pulverized, feet first. Later that night without a trace of sorrow, Adam had collected the red, ruby like colored liquid and he used it the next day to create the posters.

    He was now looking at one of his creations, but he wasn't crying. He was smiling in delight at the beauty of the red that seemed to blind his sense. He had seen it once. He had to see it twice. He had to make more so he could see it always.

    The ink on the page was Bliss. In more than one way.

    THE END

    There are a lot of spelling mistakes, and the tense is erratic.

    I agree with Eileen that it's impossible, but I suppose there's a market for fantasy/horror.

    Is Mimi English speaking? There are some nice touches in there, but a lot of words are superfluous. I did like the line about the shards of memories.

    I am presuming that "rut towards the door" was in fact a spelling mistake/typo. :)

    I would think that even allowing for poetic licence and an element of fantasy, putting a body through a printing press would damage it. I would suggest changing the method of murder if Mimi wants to try and go somewhere with this.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20 bitchstalker


    You are a very talented and created individual, keep it up :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 72 ✭✭Weetbix


    Livvie wrote: »
    There are a lot of spelling mistakes, and the tense is erratic.

    I agree with Eileen that it's impossible, but I suppose there's a market for fantasy/horror.

    Is Mimi English speaking? There are some nice touches in there, but a lot of words are superfluous. I did like the line about the shards of memories.

    I am presuming that "rut towards the door" was in fact a spelling mistake/typo. :)

    I would think that even allowing for poetic licence and an element of fantasy, putting a body through a printing press would damage it. I would suggest changing the method of murder if Mimi wants to try and go somewhere with this.
    Lol She is English speaking but not originally,


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