guy i like with girlfriend

scarymoon1

ive known this guy a while who has a girlfirend but i fancied him - after a while i told him and he feels the same. I know I shouldnt have as he has a girlfriend but I did say to him I dont want only sex but he still wanted to meet up with me for a drink and see how it went as he liked me too. But he is always busy and after about 3 weeks of not going for a drink im beginning to get annoyed. So yesterday I was texting him alot with no replies with me saying im not meeting you anymore etc, its a bad idea as you have a girlfriend etc. In the end he replies saying hes at work and am i ok ive sent alot of msgs - and he's busy with family stuff and has not time to text every 2 mins. I know all my texting is complete psycho! Ive had problems with texting before and was told to call the person - not text. Ive also took him off facebook as a friend! Im not going to text him again - and ive a feeling he prob wont either as i was mostly the one to initiate contact. Does he think im crazy now with all my texting - and i hardly know him??? And i know there is the issue with his girlfirend and its wrong and if he cheats on her he will cheat on me - but he likes me and i think they have not been getting on. Maybe I should have waited until they broke up? Is he making excuses as he's busy - I do know he is very busy lately and he might be losing his job. God it sounds awfully complicted and i have not even met him yet!!!!

Kiera

Delete his number and walk away from him now. I've no doubt that he thinks you're a boiler with all your texting. He belongs to someone else so go find a single guy and not one with a GF.

scarymoon1

Kiera wrote: »

Delete his number and walk away from him now. I've no doubt that he thinks you're a boiler with all your texting. He belongs to someone else so go find a single guy and not one with a GF.

wow bit harsh are you not! And no one 'belongs' to anyone else.

scarymoon1

as harsh and blunt as you are keira i think you are right. Im not going to text him again and if he does text me and wants to meet up il say when your single. thanks for clearing things up for me

scarymoon1

scarymoon1 wrote: »

he's busy with family stuff and has not time to text every 2 mins.

Of course he can't text you, he has to wait until his girlfriend isn't around. They probably spend lots of time together, and that plus work means he needs you to be able to wait around for when he feels like a bit of a flirt, because your not a priority for him.

And i know there is the issue with his girlfirend and its wrong and if he cheats on her he will cheat on me - but he likes me and i think they have not been getting on. Maybe I should have waited until they broke up?

It's highly unlikely they're about to break up. All guys who cheat either hide the fact that they have a girlfriend, or claim that they're having trouble with their girlfriend but it's just not the right time to break up/she's having a tough time and he can't do it to her right now. Him liking you is nowhere near a good enough reason to get with a guy that has a girlfriend. I'm guessing you don't know her well because you seem to be unaware of the part you'd be playing in this. It's his fault if he cheats on his girlfriend, but that doesn't mean that you're just some innocent party, you'll be taking part in really hurting his girlfriend.

Forget about him. You've probably turned him off anyway, because if he's going to cheat on his girlfriend he needs to do it with someone who can act far more casual about things. You texted him too much and it's good anyway because now it's easier to avoid being someone who gets with guys who are taken. Count your blessings and leave it alone.

Miss Fluff

Jesus your self-esteem is in the gutter girl. You not only obsessively text and hound the man, you do it to someone who is in a relationship and has a girlfriend. What's wrong with you?

Have a bit of integrity and a bit of pride in yourself and instead of chasing after some other woman's sloppy seconds why don't you do a bit of work on yourself. When you've grown up a bit and gleaned a bit of self-repect then maybe you could perhaps consider meeting someone nice who is not already attached who actually wants to text you as opposed to feeling compelled to reply because you're sending bunny boiler texts?

You know what the right thing to do is here.

And I don't think Keira was harsh at all. I'm really not sure what you're expecting people to tell you.

IrishEyes19

scarymoon1 wrote: »

wow bit harsh are you not! And no one 'belongs' to anyone else.

I know its hard, Scarymoon if you like someone, but the fact is, you are chasing a taken man and of course he entertained it in the beginning, some people just will. But maybe he's even realised the mess it would lead to.

I would ask you to think about his gf for a moment and how betrayed you would feel if your bf did this and especially if you found out the girl in question was aware he had a gf. Its not nice what you are doing plain and simple. I really do think you need to leave him alone. Theres no grey shades in this. What you are doing is wrong, he isnt any better, but you have control too, and for your own good and for his gf's, I would leave them both alone

IrishEyes19

scarymoon1 wrote: »

as harsh and blunt as you are keira i think you are right. Im not going to text him again and if he does text me and wants to meet up il say when your single. thanks for clearing things up for me

Only saw this now. fair dues to you, if you follow through with this. But it takes willpower too. Its the right thing. But I do think you shouldnt even say, when your single. You should cut the cord completely, because if you say that, he'll probably text you when he's having an off day if he knows you like him. You are best leaving this guy go his own way. Why would you want a guy who might be perpared to cheat anyway

I am a friend

scarymoon1 wrote: »

And no one 'belongs' to anyone else.

So if he doesn't belong to her then he wouldn't belong to you (if he was with you) and therefore it would be ok for him to cheat in you?

scarymoon1

I am a friend wrote: »

So if he doesn't belong to her then he wouldn't belong to you (if he was with you) and therefore it would be ok for him to cheat in you?

aaahhh don't twist my words - thats why i have not posted on boards in months. Of course its not ok to cheat - im only saying no one belongs to no one else.

Valentina

scarymoon1 wrote: »

Of course its not ok to cheat

Exactly.

Walk away OP.

Firetrap

The way I'm reading the scenario is this. You pursued this guy although he was and still is in a relationship. He initially entertained the idea of seeing you, probably as his bit on the side, but got cold feet over the idea.

Ignore all that nonsense about him being busy with family matters or with work. My eye :rolleyes: He's now ignoring you and probably dreads the sight of your texts coming in to his phone. Don't forget either that there's the small matter of his still being in a relationship and having a girlfriend. That sort of thing makes cheating that bit more tricky.

I don't know why you'd want to hook up with someone who's prepared to cheat on his girlfriend. If he's capable of doing that to his present girlfriend, who's to say he wouldn't do it again if he was with you?

I wonder too are you letting your imagination run wild when you say you think he and his girlfriend aren't getting on. Are you hearing what you want to hear?

booboo88

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. END OF CONVERSATION.


yes the caps were just to get the point across:)

dixiefly

scarymoon1 wrote: »

aaahhh don't twist my words - thats why i have not posted on boards in months. Of course its not ok to cheat - im only saying no one belongs to no one else.

Who cares why you havent posted on Boards in months? Post if you want to, dont if you dont want to.

The whole tone of your posts indicate that you do think it's ok to cheat - why otherwise are you pursuing this guy.

Even if he was single your actions in texting so much without having met him could well have put him off.

As advised, forget about him& delete his number.

Vicxas

I agree with the majority of posters here, move on, find someone available. This guy probably thinks you're too intense and is cutting communication with you.

tinkerbell

Stop texting him OP. He clearly has no interest in you as he has been brushing you off. You're texting him every 2 mins as you've said yourself - there's no way he's gonna want to come anywhere near you with that kind of behaviour.

Delete his number and stop texting him. He already has a girlfriend. Go find yourself a single guy, not one that already is in a relationship and isn't into you at all.

fghijkl

scarymoon1 wrote: »

Maybe I should have waited until they broke up? Is he making excuses as he's busy - I do know he is very busy lately and he might be losing his job. God it sounds awfully complicted and i have not even met him yet!!!!

OP the guy is in a relationship.
You tell him you like him and want to meet up with him knowing he has a girlfriend.
He thinks ding ding ding! ....immoral girl = easy shag.... jackpot!

Then you get all bunny boiler on him.
He then thinks uh oh easy shag is not so easy after all.
He then coincidently comes up with a million excuses not to meet you.

He was only after a shag. It's not exactly rocket science tbh.

scarymoon1 wrote: »

And no one 'belongs' to anyone else.

Oh right so if he dumps the girl (which he won't) and starts dating you, then you'd have no problem with other women asking him out and you'd think it was perfectly ok for him to go for a drink with these women to "see how it went as he liked them too" ?...yeah sure you would:rolleyes:

aaahhh don't twist my words - thats why i have not posted on boards in months. Of course its not ok to cheat

So what did you honestly think was going to happen when he met up with you behind his gf's back, that he was going to fall madly in love with you and dump his gf the next day

Im not going to text him again and if he does text me and wants to meet up il say when your single.

You'd still consider dating him even though he's shown himself to be untrustworthy...

OP you sound very very young and nieve, i think you need to work on finding some self respect before you even consider getting into a relationship with anyone or quite frankly you're going to be walked all over by men.

Ben Dover and Phil McCock

You have lost your God-given right to complain about all men being cheating assholes. Congrats.

booboo88

Ben Dover and Phil McCock wrote: »

You have lost your God-given right to complain about all men being cheating assholes. Congrats.

love the name