When Does Seeing someone become Going out

LegacyUser

As the title says just wondering how long/ after how many times meeting up do people consider that you are then an item?

Im a guy out of a 7 year relationship met a girl who i really like but dont feel like i should commit to someone yet-from a girls perspective how long will she hang around before wanting or asking for more when i will have to make my decision

she knows about my past relationship and seems happy to meet up regularly

Colonel_McCoy

When ye discuss it!

IrishEyes19

dilema wrote: »

As the title says just wondering how long/ after how many times meeting up do people consider that you are then an item?

Im a guy out of a 7 year relationship met a girl who i really like but dont feel like i should commit to someone yet-from a girls perspective how long will she hang around before wanting or asking for more when i will have to make my decision

she knows about my past relationship and seems happy to meet up regularly

In my opinion there is no real set time as long as you are honest with each other and open about what you both want, obviously if its getting serious or if one of you is falling for the other, you would need to discuss it. But dont feel pressured to jump into anything serious if you are not ready. Communication is the key here.

Miss Fluff

dilema wrote: »

As the title says just wondering how long/ after how many times meeting up do people consider that you are then an item?

When you both feel ready. And don't feel the need to rush into committing if you're not sure.

All I'll say is though if you don't think it's going to go anywhere don't string her along either.

LegacyUser

It depends OP - she knows about your previous relationship but does she know that you're not ready to commit?? You need to have a proper chat with her and lay it all out on the table. How long have you been seeing each other? If you haven't discussed it properly and you have been seeing each other for a while it may be the case that she thinks that although you are just out of a LTR, and because you are meeting up with her regularly, you've thought about it and committing isn't a problem for you.

Personally I wouldn't be comfortable seeing someone who was seeing other people, I'm very much a one person at a time type of girl. If I was seeing a guy after a couple of months and he was still not willing to say that I was the only girl he was seeing, I'd be hurt. Be honest with her because if you like her and see yourself pursuing something with her at some point, you don't want to mess her around now.

Don't rush into any decision, take some time to figure out what you really want, if that means scaling back contact do that. Be honest, tell her you need to take some time to think about things or whatever. Don't leave her wondering what's going on. Talk to your friends, get some advice there. Beware though of who you talk to!! I found that single friends will advise staying on your own and those in couples the opposite! Try and find people who have a balanced outlook on relationships.

I've been there and took the plunge, was in a LTR and met my current boyfriend shortly after we broke up. I know some of my friends would have despaired at the time thinking I needed to be on my own for a while longer but at the time I thought - hey I really like this guy, we have an amazing time together, just relax, take it slowly and see where it leads. It may work out, sometimes it won't but personally I'd rather take a chance on someone than regret after when it may be too late, you never know where it may lead and in my case its led toa very happy relationship with an amazing guy

LegacyUser

Hi OP. When did you break up from the 7 year relationship?

Thats a long time to be with someone.
Unless you are totally over that break up I would suggest taking it very slow with this new person.
I was once with someone for 7 years too (the 7 year mark seems to see a lot of break ups)
and I moved into a new relationship far too soon afterwards, it was a BAD decision and ended terribly. So advice really, just take it slow and dont pressure yourself.
Good luck.

Distorted

dilema wrote: »

from a girls perspective how long will she hang around before wanting or asking for more when i will have to make my decision

It depends on how much she likes you OP, and also to some extent on what type of person she is - if she is kind of naive and innocent, she might wait longer. Some girls would get fed up with it after 3 or 4 dates and detect a lack of intent to have a relationship on your part, others would be more suited by the arrangement, but don't be surprised if they are also seeing other people too.

Also, be wary of treating someone casually because they like you and you know it and that they will put up with it - most girls will only put up with this for so long before deciding they've had enough, and speaking from personal experience, once you've came to that conclusion about someone, nothing will change my mind.