My Story

[-0-]

I'm not sure why I"m writing this. Maybe it's for inspiration or it's just to see it in front of me. I might even hit delete once I've written it all. Who knows.

Up until October of 2010 I was a regular drinker and drugs user. During the height of my drugs use I would go through 2800 euro worth of cocaine in a month, which is the equivalent to 100 euro a day pretty much. At the start I loved it, and then it became a habbit. I would call over to my friends to play a game of darts or to hang out and I would pull out a bag of snoz. I always shared what I had with my mates in situations like that, and after a few months the lads had to tell me to stop bringing it over to their house. That was a bit of a wake up call... I was thinking "**** do I have a problem?". I always knew I had a problem, but you rationalize it. If your mates are doing it too it's OK, and you go from friends to friends finding people who are OK with it too. I would be taking it in work, doing lines in bed at midnight and again as soon as I would wake up. Mixing it with booze at the weekends. It was kind of mental looking back at it now.

I nearly died a few times. I woke up from sleeping and I was gasping for air, unable to catch my breath. One time my lips were actually blue and it took me about 5 minutes to catch my breath. I had severe sleep apnea from the stuff, especially mixed with alcohol. Simply put I was forgetting to breath when I was asleep. It was like my body was too lazy to do it. This was a major factor in what made me stop. I feel I got lucky, I could have easily died in my sleep like so many other people have done, and like one of my close friends did.

I started drinking when I was 12, and didn't touch Class A drugs until I was 26. I cut down on the booze big time from October onwards, however the last month or two I had been drinking a lot more so as of last week I decided enough was enough. I'm done with it. This time last year I had a 6 pack and that is gone now. I want to get fit again and look great for my girlfriend. I'm not overweight or anything but I"m nowhere near as fit as I was last year.

That's the thing too, my girlfriend doesn't drink or do anything like that so it's a major motivator to stay off the stuff. There's no way I would go out with her and get langers, it wouldn't be fair. For me, drinking was always about the taste which makes it harder for me to give up. It wasn't about getting langers. I absolutely love the taste of European beers, especially Belgian. If you count the amount of times I have drank I would say I only got drunk 40% of the time, and the rest of the time I would only have a bottle or two.

Drink is a bitch though. I know if I get drunk again I will want to get coke, and it will lead me down a road I do not want to go.

I'm living alone until next summer and that is a major relief to be honest. I work, read, work out, go for walks, climb mountains and I stay out of pubs and clubs.

I know this forum is not supposed to be used for this sort of thing but I felt I had to write it down. The mods can close the thread if they like, or delete it. I just want to say that if I can do this anyone can. So here's to sobriety!

Sunnyisland

Good luck in your journey, You seem to know what you want and there is nothing to stop you from getting to where you want to go,Change is not a race, we all do it are our own pace. Sometimes lessons take a long time and sometimes they seem to happen very quickly. Don't be depressed or discouraged if things are not happening very quickly. If you are puting in the effort it will happen.


Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
Chinese Proverb

Doublin

[-0-] wrote: »

I'm living alone until next summer and that is a major relief to be honest. I work, read, work out, go for walks, climb mountains and I stay out of pubs and clubs.

I know this forum is not supposed to be used for this sort of thing but I felt I had to write it down. The mods can close the thread if they like, or delete it. I just want to say that if I can do this anyone can. So here's to sobriety!

Best of luck mate, stick with it. I mixed drugs & drink a lot also, it takes it toll! A lot of the things you mentioned above are things I took up also, don't know myself now, feel great. I haven't been in a pub in a few years and don't miss it at all... 3 years ago I couldn't wait to finish work so I could hit the pub, it's great that a total differant mindset is possible to achieve. And keep writing, I carry around a notebook thing thats part journal/part to-do list. Great for working things out in your head.

Fingers Mcginty

I too love the taste of beer. I'm off the drink nearly 6 weeks but I still treat myself to a few erdingers on the weekends (the non alco stuff) ...It's a lovely beer.