science fiction short story

sickdullplain

feedback would be great. Got the idea from a cracked article of all places:o

The Dreamless

He was a man who never knew sleep. Armitage floated his way to the rejuvenation chambers, flakes of his disintegrating body dispersing in the zero gravity. Armitage felt more like a rank than a name, but that was what he was known by. And why not? He thought bitterly. I am military, nothing less. But these were tormenting thoughts for a nauseous mind. He focused on the joy division that throbbed in the pearl in his ear. The music was intermittently interrupted by a chirpy female voice.

I’ve been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand
‘Loss of blood plasma, temporary anaemia.’
Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?
‘Deterioration of weight-bearing bone and muscle.’

He didn’t know how long he had lived, but lived was the wrong word. Ordinary lives were marked with the day and night, wakefulness and sleep, fragmented by the blinking eye of consciousness. His was not a life but a nightshift. The ever watchful eye, its gaze broken only by rejuvenation. But there was no sentiment to that word in his universe. He vomited in weightless spasms, yellowish globules forming in the zero-G.
I’m ****ing dying.
The dehydration was the worst. Fluids usually anchored to his lower body were free to move to his head and torso in zero-gravity, and this tricked his body into believing it had excess moisture. So it emptied him of precious fluid, and arid headaches raged in his temples. The body was easily tricked. On the better days he drank coffee continuously through a tube, tricking his mind into thinking it was delaying an inevitable, natural urge. But he wasn’t natural; he was one of the dreamless, doomed to wakefulness.
But he could have nightmares.

The rejuvenation chambers spread out ahead, clinical and vast. Tendrils hung over him, some limp, some bristling; chemical- filled ones to pump him young and purely mechanical ones to stretch him taut and wrinkleless. Well, figuratively, at least.
But all he could see was a white pain.
It was a pain inhuman; it was a pain that explodes in the stars. But it had to be done. He was guardian of the last human fleet, one of the dreamless; he wouldn’t be a slave to cosmic forces.
He thought it ironic; the winds of old Earth could age mountains, yet in deep space, when man though himself free of all earthly forces, the effects of zero-gravity accelerated the ageing process a hundred fold. And why? Because it’s all a ****ing jest. But these thoughts were a voice in a whirling storm of pain, and the tendrils buzzed and whined. He shouted over the din, and asked the on-board intelligence to describe Project Everwatch, like he always did during rejuvenation. He needed to justify the anger, the pain.

‘Project Everwatch, a DARPA initiative.’ Sang the pearl in his ear. ‘Tagline: the ceaseless soldier. Involved the genetic engineering of embryos to create military personnel who could withstand extreme sleep deprivation. Led to the creation of artificial hypocretin-1 glands as well as the pioneering use of staged deep brain simulation to create infants who could resist sleep for over forty hours in a controlled environment. Sleep resistance increased to four weeks upon reaching adulthood. Over sixty per cent of test subjects withdrawn due to severe psychological…’ the voice was unheard under Armitage’s screams.

‘Oi, youthere!’ Armitage shouted out in mock cockney. His always felt better after rejuvenation, even though the pain still lingered. Pain-killers were useless on any Dreamless.
‘Never gets old, Armitage’ replied Oi through the pearl in his ear. O.I. On-board intelligence. Her voice had taken on the qualities of a sixties girl group, complete with brassy swing and studio hiss. Being indoors too much, along with having access to an entire dead worlds back catalogue via the tachyon entanglement network, had that effect on people.

Karma25

I like it Science fiction is not a genre I read very much but this was refreshing to read.

The good points:
He didn’t know how long he had lived, but lived was the wrong word. Ordinary lives were marked with the day and night, wakefulness and sleep, fragmented by the blinking eye of consciousness. His was not a life but a nightshift.

I really like this part and it really brings forth his bitterness towards the whole project. Very nicely written.

‘Project Everwatch, a DARPA initiative.’ Sang the pearl in his ear.

For some reason I had an angelic womans voice ringing in my ears while I read this part. The ending is also very well delivered.

The only critisicim I have is (and this could be because I don't read science fiction at all ) is i'm confused by this bit:

I am military, nothing less.

Whats he military to? Isn't the ending that earth is dead now? Isn't he more about survival now? On his own with the OI. Or have I picked up the story wrong. All in all even if I'm confused a little, your story made me rethink a couple of times and I think that's why I enjoyed it so much. I re read it a few times to really grasp the story. The description is just enough without slowing he story.