Anxious, nervous, uptight and irritable constantly

LegacyUser

Hiya,

I am anxious, nervous, uptight and irritable constantly. I have been that way for so long now that I have used to it and don't know what its like to feel fresh, alert, content and free.

I am negative thinker and very cynical about all aspects of life. Sometimes I don't even realise I am doing it. It has taken a great toll on my life in terms of quality and enjoyment.

I am not sure if all this has made me depressed or the depression has led to all this. I seem to constantly assume the worst of scenarios and people and it has stopped me progressing and developing as a person in terms of education, relationships, friendships and jobs.

On occasion I do find myself thinking awful things about complete strangers who actually have done nothing. Or I start thinking negative thoughts about friends and developing stories in my head about things they may think or say and get all worked up about it etc.

I'd loved to know how to me more positive as I really don't enjoy life and have become run down. What makes it worse, I stay indoors a lot on the internet and only really leave to go out to the pub on my own.

thefeatheredcat

Well you've started yourself on a new track in life by identifying the problems that you have and how it makes you feel and that it makes you unhappy.

Have you talked to anyone about how you feel about it all, as in friends, family, doctors, Samaritans, counselling?

The first thing you need to do next is be honest with yourself about it all. Be honest and upfront with yourself about being this way and how it makes you feel emotionally and psychologically and be honest with what options you have to change.

tbh I don't really know what you should do, but first you do need to get it out in the open, even to yourself first and have the desire and want in yourself to change this, then change it.

Maybe have a read of some positive living books for inspiration or even look up Google's jolly good fellow (meng) as he is a very positive and inspiring person imo.

I do know what it feels like when you end up being cynical towards people and thinking negatively about others and it is a hard cycle to break out of. But if you get yourself the right attitude in wanting to change it all, and are prepared to claim happiness, your natural state and something you are very much entitled to, and find support and have the determination then you'll be ok.

I did it in the way of appreciating the small things in life and worked from there. Have you nature somewhere around you, a park even? Just sit and watch what's happening around you in nature. Animals are always great to be around, particularly active dogs and cats, and even in the worst of days, I found the fun energy of dogs entertaining to watch and made me laugh and connect with myself on a different level.

I don't know if that helps at all, but look at people you do know who are positive, and ask yourself what keeps them positive and open to people and ask them. Surround yourself with positivity where you can, and you will respond positively over time and feel more positive, because when you start to recognise changes that are positive, it will give you the confidence to continue and also to reach out further and push ahead with reclaiming your happiness..

Sea Sharp

The first obvious suggestion is to try and get fit. A healthy Body is a healthy mind. Any activity requiring stamina. e.g. Cycling, running or swimming will have positive effect on your mental health and your quality of life.

I seem to constantly assume the worst of scenarios and people and it has stopped me progressing and developing as a person in terms of education, relationships, friendships and jobs.

That's just a side effect of being in a bad mood all the time. When anybody is annoyed they think less favorably about the people around them. If you're anxious / uneasy most of the time you'll become cynical and pessimistic as a result.
Try and identify the 'mood' you are in when this negativity is going on in your mind. This mood is the habit that needs to be broken.
Good luck.

LegacyUser

thefeatheredcat wrote: »

Well you've started yourself on a new track in life by identifying the problems that you have and how it makes you feel and that it makes you unhappy.

Have you talked to anyone about how you feel about it all, as in friends, family, doctors, Samaritans, counselling?

The first thing you need to do next is be honest with yourself about it all. Be honest and upfront with yourself about being this way and how it makes you feel emotionally and psychologically and be honest with what options you have to change.

tbh I don't really know what you should do, but first you do need to get it out in the open, even to yourself first and have the desire and want in yourself to change this, then change it.

Maybe have a read of some positive living books for inspiration or even look up Google's jolly good fellow (meng) as he is a very positive and inspiring person imo.

I do know what it feels like when you end up being cynical towards people and thinking negatively about others and it is a hard cycle to break out of. But if you get yourself the right attitude in wanting to change it all, and are prepared to claim happiness, your natural state and something you are very much entitled to, and find support and have the determination then you'll be ok.

I did it in the way of appreciating the small things in life and worked from there. Have you nature somewhere around you, a park even? Just sit and watch what's happening around you in nature. Animals are always great to be around, particularly active dogs and cats, and even in the worst of days, I found the fun energy of dogs entertaining to watch and made me laugh and connect with myself on a different level.

I don't know if that helps at all, but look at people you do know who are positive, and ask yourself what keeps them positive and open to people and ask them. Surround yourself with positivity where you can, and you will respond positively over time and feel more positive, because when you start to recognise changes that are positive, it will give you the confidence to continue and also to reach out further and push ahead with reclaiming your happiness..

Hi, thanks!

I do try to walk on sunny days! But often I don't feel well enough! Leaving the house is difficult for me at times! When I do its not far so I can get home quickly.

I don't seem to get joy from the small things in life so I loose interest or get bored very easily. I did go to the doctor a couple years ago and was prescribed anti-depressants! The first one I took had an amazing effect. I felt an inner peace as if a huge weight was lifted off me. All the tension, anxiety, irritability lifted and I realised that is how I should be feeling all the time. But they didn't really work as well after that. So when they ran out I didn't bother getting any more.

I guess remaining indoors all the time sitting at a computer for hours doesn't help things. It is really hard to describe how I do feel at times. You know that feeling you have when your heart is broken, or when somebody you love dies? Its like that constantly and its draining physically and mentally!

thefeatheredcat

It's quite ok that when you do go out for a walk, you don't get far. The point is that you get comfortable with going out, leaving the house, and get used to going as far as you are comfortable with to build up your confidence and gradually feel that bit happier. Even a familiar walk over time can be different each time. And after a point you will feel happier on that familiar walk (that is close to home) to stretch it out a little further and push your own boundaries, then continue that positive cycle onwards.

Would you consider going back to the GP and see what other alternatives there are?

remaining indoors all the time is indeed not going to help the situation... and I've done that so I can relate. After a while you just feel trapped and the world is limited. That's why a distraction such as getting out and about can prove so positive because gradually you are opening up a new world to yourself, to new experiences in a different way. The same as getting really into something very positive that you have a passion and interest in and the key is to finding what that is too.

About year ago while walking (either to give me a release from emotion or to run away my the suffocating house) I would rarely look at someone directly or even say hello to someone. Now I can.

It is up to you to change, if you want to change, and you can, you do have that power and strength in you. Just concentrate on yourself, put yourself as priority no 1 and never compare yourself to others, or where they are in life, or how happy others appear to be (often not the reality, in some cases just the outwards shell).

Break the negative cycle, for yourself, nobody can do that but you and yes, it is a tough road to walk, there will be support for you along the way and people who will want to cheer you on.... but trust me, when you finally bury all the anxieties and negatives, it really is worth working towards when you get there

LegacyUser

Hi OP

Some great advice in this thread so far, I wish I could articulate myself as well as some of the previous posters

I share some of your feelings and genuinely sympathize with you

There is always light at the end of the tunnel though, always

I used to be a complete hermit, staying in on my computer, avoiding social occasions due to anxiety and depression and just felt generally miserable. I dropped out of 4 courses in college because of this, I couldn't bear to think what the others thought of me when I walked into the classroom. I used to sit in the toliets between classes to avoid talking to anyone between lectures and eventually gave up, with all four years following that pattern. It was ridiculous behaviour now when I look back at it

After the fouth year of this I said to myself ''this isn't me". I knew deep deep down that I could make the effort to turn my life around, and that's what I did. It required a complete lifestyle change, not just a few things, I needed a complete overhaul to re-invent myself. I joined a fishing club, a thing that I truly enjoy, and made some very good friends who helped me structure my life there. I started jogging in the evening times and got my diet under control and this in turn built up my confidence which got me threw 2 years of college so far.Its these little things that can really help you create a positive mindset and help you with confidence issues

Is there anything you really enjoy doing that you could do with others? The best way imo to find true friends is threw mutual interests. If you can find someone with a similar sense of humour and is genuine you will eventually begin to feel more comfortable around them and the social paranoia will begin to disappear, gradually

I know very well how difficult it can be but you should really try and put yourself about as much a you can. Put yourself in situations where you have to be socialable and even if its tough at the start, you will get better at it

You can change yourself for the better, best of luck

Funny_Bones

Hi,

I tried Kinesiology and found this helpful though I don't know would it be everyones cup of tea:)

Mighty_Mouse

Without excercise you're fighting depression with one arm tied behind your back.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphin

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=55001

Your brain literally does not have enough of the chemical required to support you in times of stress. You need regular exercise to boost wellness.

Serotonin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin

Throw in some healthy living, healthy eating.
I'm not saying it will fix everything but you have to at least give yourself a chance.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

sorry for the delay in responding.

I do try and exercise a bit. When I have the energy I will go for a long walk and I do feel good for it.

But as I am constantly so stressed and anxious it effects my digestive system. I do get occasional stomach discomfort which makes me feel really weak and run down. when that clears I am good to go.

LegacyUser

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

Without excercise you're fighting depression with one arm tied behind your back.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphin

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=55001

Your brain literally does not have enough of the chemical required to support you in times of stress. You need regular exercise to boost wellness.

Serotonin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin

Throw in some healthy living, healthy eating.
I'm not saying it will fix everything but you have to at least give yourself a chance.

Best of luck

Thanks for that! I will give them a read!!

If I had the money I would join a gym but having said that I would find myself feeling really uncomfortable in those surroundings!

I only like to go out for walks when the sun is shining. I always feel invisible when I have sun shades on. Like I am hiding behind them!! Sounds weird I know!