confused

jellybean2010

I was with this guy for 5 years (both in our late 20's) and i can honestly say he's all i ever wanted. Things got fairly stagnant the last 6months, i think he was depressed, money was tight and he was under a lot of pressure. I felt unhappy as he wasn't showing me much attention, we didn't go out much together, or do much together. gave him the ultimatum asking him what he wanted, did he want to break up and he said i suppose. I moved out and we've been in contact over the past 4 months tying up lose ends (paper work, bank accounts etc). One thing i must add is that this guy is SO shy and quiet. anyway, fast forward to this weekend when i texted him (heard he was sick) and we got chatting, met up and spent the day and night together) he was extremely caring, close and generally lovey dovey. Let myself believe it was a one off, so i'm not upset about it or anything. but he's after texting me now asking how am i? how is work going.

What does this mean? does he want me back?

Miss Fluff

Seems like a total lack of communication between the two of you got you into this mess in the first place. Hardly surprising. I'm not being unsympathetic but surely if you want to know what he's thinking and whether he wants to give this another go then it would be best to ask him that rather than posting here? How could anyone here know what's going on?

Time for the two of you to sit down and really talk. You asked him did he want to break up and he said "I suppose" and then you just went your separate ways? If you have something solid here and you believe you really are meant for onanother and were merely going through a rough patch which neither of you had the ability or maturity or cope with or process then you both need to get talking.

jellybean2010

I know what you mean, I guess is him texting me his way of letting me know he's still interested? This guy is not great at saying how he feels.

Miss Fluff

It could mean any number of things. He might be still madly in love with you. He might think it could be handy to hook up with you for sex every so often. He might want to stay friends and is merely trying to be matey with you.

I do think it's very easy to slip into familiarity with someone who you were so close to so maybe it's almost an instinct for him after having spent a weekend with you.

Are you interested in him? And in getting back together with him?

If so then you need to meet up with him and talk.

jellybean2010

and is it always a mistake to go back?

Miss Fluff

Going back is usually not the best option. But if the issues that caused you to break up are no longer at play and everything has been resolved then IF the love goes deep enough then yes, it can work a second time.

Seems like you guys split up because you weren't communicating properly and were under pressure. If you love one another and agree to work through stressful situations together and communicate in an effective way in future then there's no reason why not.