Thought I was gay, now not so sure.....

prickleberry

I need a bit of help on this matter if you wouldn't mind. During the first 4 years of secondary school i identified myself as straight, had no interest in going after guys at all, then all of a sudden i befriended another lad in leaving cert year and very quickly became best friends. He told me he was gay and was acting flirty towards me, I wasn't used to anyone flirting with me ever so I did like the attention. Anyway we ended up experimenting and I have to admit I found the whole thing to be really exciting and exhilarating at this point I started to think that i was gay as I concentrated on him and nobody else which lead to me falling for him but i dunno if it was true love or just the fact that we were the closest of friends. We sorta became friends with benefits for about 2.5 years to this date.
I'm no longer in "love" with him anymore and I'm starting to question my sexuality once again. He was the only guy I ever liked and enjoyed doing stuff with. I have tried being with other guys and I really didn't like it at all, I wasn't in love with him at this point fyi. During this time I did shift girls and fooled around with them a bit and I liked it. This is causing great stress on my life at the moment as I literally dunno what the hell I am. I recently met a girl who I liked, this is causing the confusion for me as I thought i was fully into lads but my mind seems to have flipped. I find I connect emotionally better to a girl and tbh would prefer to spend the rest of my life with a girl now.
Am I bisexual? was I just going through a phase? sorry if this text isn't all that tidy or clear, there's a million things going on in my mind so its really hard to concentrate. Any help would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

Chuchoter

Have you tried just dating people you like? You haven't come out as far as I can tell, so you've nothing to lose by going out with a girl to find out. Is the breakdown of your relationship with this guy making you think no love is ever possible with any other guy? Because if it is, keep in mind this is your first love. If one of your straight friends came to you after their first breakup and said thats the end of it, no more girls/boys for me, would you take it very seriously? As for the girl, just see where it goes. Frankly, I think friends with benefits relationships are pretty crap things to be in unless you're superhumanly strong.

cgcsb

I think you're over complicating the issue. After all sexuality isn't about love, it's about f*cking. You can answer your own question very simply:

when you have a w*nk, what do you think about? C*ck or P*ssy or both or sometimes one and sometimes the other?

genuine 50/50 male bisexuals are a rarity in my experience, but I have known one, I think and his preference for either could vary at different times of the year. So maybe make a list of the things you fantasise about and have a think about them before you try to lable yourself.

OneArt

To be perfectly honest I think its rare for anyone to be fully gay or fully lesbian, some people are more into one sex or the other. I thought I was perfectly straight until I was 14, suddenly I started liking guys and assumed I was gay. Then around 16 I fell head over heels for a girl, and since then identified myself as a bisexual. But now I have no interest in guys whatsoever, even the idea for me (at the moment) is a bit off-putting.

I think some people just change and vary. Just go with your feelings, I don't bother labelling myself at this point because at the end of the day you like who you like. Life is hard enough wih making things more complicated.

baby and crumble

cgcsb wrote: »

I think you're over complicating the issue. After all sexuality isn't about love, it's about f*cking. You can answer your own question very simply:

when you have a w*nk, what do you think about? C*ck or P*ssy or both or sometimes one and sometimes the other?

I think you're oversimplifying the issue, tbh. Sexuality and love go hand in hand- if it didn't then we could all go around shagging our brains out and be totally satisfied all the time...

OP, you are who you are, and like some other posters have said, sexuality for a lot of people is fluid. Sometimes you're attracted to one gender, sometimes the other. I know a lot of bisexuals who are equally attracted to both genders sexually, but when it comes to relationships, are much more attracted to one gender- ie they can only see themselves settling down with a woman, or something.

teemm

Back in the days of boarding schools in England, they were all male affairs. It was common to fall in love with another boy and it would turn sexual. It frequently mentioned in memoirs. But they never considered themselves homosexual. It was love. Later they would move onto girls and never look back other than to remember their love fondly. On the other hand some were actually gay.

To me that's what you're going through. I had a huge crush on a boy in my class, still have, truth be told although he's probably fat and balding by now.

Really it's a question of sexual attraction. If you look at porn, do you get excited by pictures of naked women? Or of naked men or both?

If it's both, then you're bi. I am bisexual, it happens I ended up in a relationship with a woman. It could very easily have been a man.