Gay saunas- why all the negativity?

wayfarers

Just been perusing some posts on here re gay saunas (the Boilerhouse in particular) and there appears to be a lot of negative/cynical views from gay guys regarding those who frequent them. Another thing I noticed were comments such as ''I don't use them myself but I know others who do" as if there's something wrong with those who go to gay saunas. I use them, I enjoy sex and it doesn't bother me that the next guy I sh@g will be a stranger who I more than likely won't see again. I use protection. I meet guys in saunas, online, at clubs etc and have no qualms about having sex with someone if I'm attracted to them but I would like to get to the root of the hang ups a lot of people have with gay saunas and what is wrong with casual sex between consenting strangers?

MagicMarker

Are you open about this to all your friends, workmates and family? If not, why not?

wayhey

MagicMarker wrote: »

Are you open about this to all your friends, workmates and family? If not, why not?

In fairness most people don't disclose the details of their sex lives with all friends, family and workmates. Casual sex in general isn't looked to favourably on by everyone.

wayfarers

MagicMarker wrote: »

Are you open about this to all your friends, workmates and family? If not, why not?

Yes my friends know but I don't see why my family would want to know who I was banging? I wouldn't be interested in who my brothers were with and they don't discuss their heterosexual conquests amongst the family, I'm sure they do to their male friends. If a bunch of straight lads go away on holiday and shag everything that moves they're gonna tell the rest of their mates but not their family. I mean do you discuss your sexual conquests with your family?

MagicMarker

And what about workmates? If you were asked what you have planned for the weekend, would you say ''Oh I'll probably head to a gay sauna''.

Obviously I wouldn't say that, but I'm not the one starting a thread asking why people have a negative view of that.

wayfarers

MagicMarker wrote: »

And what about workmates? If you were asked what you have planned for the weekend, would you say ''Oh I'll probably head to a gay sauna''.

Obviously I wouldn't say that, but I'm not the one starting a thread asking why people have a negative view of that.

That's a bit of a non-starter as I'm self employed so the majority of people I would be speaking to would be friends anyway.

wayfarers

Mr.S wrote: »

Because its sleazy. Simple as.

Yes, both people are consenting and no money or whatever, but a place where people specially go to meet strangers for sex? C'mon - You must see why people see it as sleazy.

Sleazy to who? You? What about a load of lads piling off to some greek island for a fortnight with the express intention of shagging as many girls as they can with no desire to keep in contact with the girls afterwards?

Alopex

conservative views and std risk i think

there are straight versions in england and they're seen in the same light

gcgirl

Its usually the nay sayers that are scurry around the place like rats if people they know come in, us lesbians will never see the inside off the place but i' d love to know what the inside looks like !

shay_562

"Why do people view anonymous sex with lots of strangers in a negative way?"

Like, are you for real, OP? I understand the "I don't think other people should judge my sex life" viewpoint. I understand the "I don't care what people think, my life's my own" viewpoint. But not understanding at all why loads of people don't like the idea of saunas? That much, I don't get. Whatever your personal views, surely you must understand that monogamy is a lot of people's default view of a good relationship, and that even without that, most people have more respect for a random club hookup, where at the very least you have to chat a person up and buy them a drink first, over a sauna where you pretty much shag anyone.

Personally, I hate them. I'm not against short term relationships or even one night stands, but I like to at least know the name of the person I'm sleeping with. I think they're reminiscent of an era when gay people had to feel like the only way to fulfil their sexual desires was by keeping it quick, anonymous and clandestine, and I think it legitimises every random homophobe who says that gay men in particular are nothing but sex-obsessed deviants. Of course, that's before you get into the fact that random sex with lots of guys, by definition, can't be 'safe' - condoms aren't 100% effective, and the more strangers you f**k, the higher the odds of you catching something nasty. Fine if you want to do it, but honestly, I reckon you've started this thread not so that you can find out why loads of people don't like the idea of saunas, but so that you can get validation for that fact that you *do* like saunas. If that is the case, at least be up front about it.