Social Anxiety

LegacyUser

Hi guys.
I have a real problem and I think I may need help. I have social anxiety IMO. It really affects me in my day to day life. I get physically sick and sweat in social situations. It makes my life awful but I've coped for the last 4 years. My problem is a physical feature that I hate. People openly laugh at me to my face on nights out. Its a facial injury but its noticeable the second you look at me. I think about it frequently every single day and it makes me nervous.

I have gotten help from a lady who I discussed my problem with for about a month and it did nothing. I noticed no difference and the money was a big issue. I was wondering if anybody could help me. I think medication may be the way to go.

Only my mom knows about the problem but it haunts me. I don't feel like I could tell any of my friends or anybody really except for my mother. I can't wear light clothing as I know the sweat will show and it makes me extremely self-conscious. I get physically sick nearly every morning and my social life could be a lot better.

Thanks for reading and any advice would be appreciated.

woodchuck

Well if the nights out are in a club/pub environment then that’s probably one of the worst places you can go The last thing you need is drunken yobs laughing in your face! I’d try to socialise in a place you’re comfortable with and with people you trust. For example you could invite just a few close friends over to your place for a DVD/games night. Try something like that for a while to see if the anxiety eases over time. If it does than you could try go one step further and go out to the cinema or for a meal with the same group and gradually build up to something like going to a pub where you’ll have to interact with some people you don’t know. There will inevitably be a few knobs, but hopefully if you’ve built up to it you’ll be more able to cop with those sorts of situations.

Or if it’s really something you find you can’t manage at all, then it’s probably worth talking to your GP about medication etc if that’s a route you’re willing to go down.

LegacyUser

My brother has the exact same thing, and I really sympathise with you.
Its awful, and I see how it affects everything he does.
He breaks out in sweats when in public or social situations, and often vomits before he has to leave the house...
The difference is that he self-medicates with drink to try and overcome this.
He is always drunk, not noticeably really, but enough that he can go outside and not freak out.
This however is NOT the answer.
I assume you do not self-medicate?
And if you dont already do NOT go down this road, it only makes it worse because you begin to think you "need" a crutch to be ok. It just deepens the cycle.
He has recently been given medication by his psychiatrist though, which he says really do work. So maybe try that route for a while until you can get some more therapy, or use them while you work at the real problem inside you.
I wouldn't rely on medication as a total fix as you'll just move from one problem into another issue of dependancy IMO.

Hope this helps in some way.

Kevin Duffy

Hi OP, obviously you know what's going on in your life better than I do, but are you sure people are laughing at you? People can be very cruel and stupid, but the vast majority of people would never do something like that in my experience.
Have you blown this up in your own head and now imagine that anyone laughing near you is laughing at you?
Has anyone who laughed at you ever told you, clearly, that's what they were laughing at?
Do you find that most people ignore it and you get on with them just fine?

LegacyUser

Hi OP, Having read your post I felt I had to respond as I can relate to your situation.

I also have social anxiety caused by a slight facial scar. I have had to cope with this for the past decade and I must admit it can be draining at times.

I have shielded myself from social interactions as much as possible because many people can be insensitive. I’m disgusted to hear that people have openly laughed at you, if these people ever put themselves in your shoes for a day I guarantee they wouldn’t be laughing.

Although I haven’t been laughed at I am still on the receiving end of subtle mocking. I find when talking to people often times they will touch / rub their face where my facial scar is. Dealing with people brings me no joy and I find I’m only happy when I’m on my own doing my own thing.

It’s great that you have sought help and that you can talk to your mother, I’m sorry the ‘lady’ was unable to help you further.

I highly recommend you purchase a copy of Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr Maxwell Maltz, I know the title sounds somewhat strange but I have found it to be an excellent read.

Keep your chin up and know that you’re not alone.

Perplexed4

Sorry mate sounds wretched but I've been in a similar situation years ago. It needn't last forever.
I think thou that your going to have to grin and bear it and talk to someone. Pick one trusted member of your family or a good friend. It'll be awful but you've got to do it, if you run away from the anxiety it's only going to get worse.:)