Does she genuinely like me?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I'm looking for opinions on this one. I'm in my mid 30's, single and working for luckily enough a company which is doing reasonably well at this moment in time.

My problem is that there is a female colleague of mine who's a couple of years younger then me (pretty certain she's single) who i've effectively developed a bit of a crush on.

She works in another section of the company- i work in the warehouse area.

Anyway when she originally started with the job, my initial impression was that i didn't particularly like her as she struck me as being a bit of an attention-seeker.

This changed completely out of the blue when we both attended a work-function about six months ago- i ended up, genuinely by accident standing beside her at the bar- i asked her how things were and we struck up a pretty good conversation.

At the end of the night- i kind of- completely out of the blue- gave her a hug before she left.

As i say, we work in different areas, and sometimes i would only run into her maybe once a week- but when this happens i am delighted and we both say 'great to see you' etc.

As she is a project manager- she rang me about two months ago saying that she was documenting my work(she genuinely had to for work)- we met up at my desk and i showed her what i did and we had a bit of a laugh.

I am going away to Florida in October on holiday- i ran into her in the warehouse last week and we spent a few minutes talking about it as again i ran into her.

Also during the bad weather a couple of months ago i was walking down one of the corridors-she was behind me- grabbed my attention- and she called out my name as she was with the receptionist and i cracked a joke which she found hilarious.

Now, on occasion she would come into the warehouse i would say hello to her and she would blank me or not respond (happens rarely but i think this may be because shes busy).

Now here's my dilemma- in one way i have to be professional and also i am genuinely worried that i might be coming on a bit too strong to her now and again, as i certainly don't want to be appearing everywhere she is (being a bit of a leech).

If she keeps seeing me i might put her off me completely which of course is bad news and also i'm terrified i'll give her the wrong impression.

As i say, when we're both busy during the week, then maybe see each other once a week- we're both happy to run into each other (if you get my drift)

I'm pretty certain the feeling is mutual and there most certainly is feelings there which are currently developing (in a slow burner type of way).

Do you think i'm right to be cautious as it's a working professional evironment? Do you think she genuinely likes me?

LegacyUser

I'll be very short on this one...
But maybe you could try to take notice of how she is with other people you work with,
this would give you an indication as to whether she is the same way with you.
ie: friendly, happy to see them, laughs at their jokes etc.
I think this is the best place to start.

LegacyUser

replyreply wrote: »

I'll be very short on this one...
But maybe you could try to take notice of how she is with other people you work with,
this would give you an indication as to whether she is the same way with you.
ie: friendly, happy to see them, laughs at their jokes etc.
I think this is the best place to start.

Hi, in response to that, the answer would be no.

That happens primarily when we see each other, not other work colleagues.

Possibly a good sign for me? Any views?

Distorted

How long is a piece of string OP? None of us can see the visual clues that would tell you your answer. Does she make eye contact with you and hold it longer than other people do, regularly? Does she go out of her way to see you? Does she exchange details of her daily life with you relating to outside of work when she is with you? Is she dropping hints that you ask her out on a date, such as telling you about a film she'd like to see? Or is it all simply wishful thinking on your part and she is only there because of her job? Or does she treat you exactly the same as everyone else because she doesn't know you that well and can't know that you have this crush on her?

I guess what you are asking is, should you ask her out on a date and are you likely to be accepted or refused. You are never going to know that til you ask her.

I would tread carefully though as she is primarily in your world because of work, and I sometimes think guys have a tendency to think that you are in a place because you fancy them, not because of the actual, practical reason you are there.

tbh

being honest with you OP, it's impossible to tell from what you've posted whether she really likes you or not. She sounds like she's nice, and she certainly doesn't *dislike* you, but wouldn't have a clue if that means she's romantically interested in you or not.

kjl

Don't mean to be a jerk here OP but I don't think she does like you in the way that you want. What you are describing is a friendship, when you consistently have pleasant conversations with girls that is how they see you. If there was some kind of tension between the two of you then I would say perhaps.

Look out for some of the following body language.
does she bite her lip, play with hair, look over her shoulder at you, get all red when you catch her out about something, touch her neck or lips.

or is she open and friendly with you.

learn to read the signs.

LegacyUser

Hello everybody, thanks a million for your responses.

Nice to get peoples perspectives on it. Yeah, i'm effectively trying to establish if there's something there between both parties (as i say there is a slow burner kind of situation developing).

Thanks for the feedback about looking out for signs from her i'll keep that in mind when i see her/ run into her.

I do agree though i have to tread carefully as i'm in a professional envirnoment while i'm at work.

As i say i don't want to freak her out by appearing everywhere she happens to be.

I do agree that she doesn't dislike me, that's for sure.

jdman

Its not about how much you see her, more about how much you are on her mind during the day... If you can do/say something the next time you see her that will leave you stuck in her head long enough, she will convince herself she is attracted to you. You are obviously not going to ask her out anytime soon or you would have, so another way to do it, is make her chase you.

Just make yourself really interesting and exciting the times you do bump into each other, and if possible try to leave long gaps from when you see her next. When she misses you, she fancies you. So start looking to see if she is trying t bump into you. And when she is, keep it that way, she will approach you in no time. Girls always get what they want. Use that knowledge to your power.

ash23

There's a very similar string of threads from another poster. Possible OP but if not the advice is similar anyway.


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056205386

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056264604

truthfully OP, even if those other posts aren't yours, if this has been going on since before Christmas, you seem a little bit obsessed with her. You're remembering every meeting, every little word she says......you need to do something. Either act on it and ask her out or try to move on.

Because if you do nothing, one of these days you'll still be pining over her and she'll have met someone else.
If you ask her out at least you know where you stand. You don't have to see a lot of her so if she turns you down, at least you don't have to see her all day every day.
If you've no intention of asking her out then you need to try and get over her.

Maple

ash23 wrote: »

There's a very similar string of threads from another poster. Possible OP but if not the advice is similar anyway.


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056205386

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056264604

truthfully OP, even if those other posts aren't yours, if this has been going on since before Christmas, you seem a little bit obsessed with her. You're remembering every meeting, every little word she says......you need to do something. Either act on it and ask her out or try to move on.

Because if you do nothing, one of these days you'll still be pining over her and she'll have met someone else.
If you ask her out at least you know where you stand. You don't have to see a lot of her so if she turns you down, at least you don't have to see her all day every day.
If you've no intention of asking her out then you need to try and get over her.

Well spotted ash23, going forward tho will you please report anything you think is suspicious so that it's brought immediately to the attention of the forum mods. It'd be much appreciated.

This thread is locked pending further discussion with my fellow moderators.

Maple