Broken friendships

LegacyUser

It all started when i met one person on fb and became friends with them,then someone else became friends with the first person i met,then all four of us came friends.

We often had a group chat,dated each other,sometimes met one another at weekend for drinks,and i think that's where the all problems sorted,we where close to each other,often bitched about each other and i think some of it ended going back to the other person.

Of the same friends,i did the silly thing of dating a then single of a friend who was still a friend of their ex who knew me,it made me think in hindsight they weren't finished since they still spoke to each other and have been two-faced,eventually we all took sides because we started to become jealous of each other on different issues,ignored each other in fb,became horrible to each other,i had enough,i cut all contact with them,changed my number,changed email address and removed and blocked them.

I havent spoken to them in about 2 years now,i have these horrible thoughts that if i met them on the street i could be beat up over my stupidity of badmouthing at time,if i ever did meet the persons,i would tried to defuse the situation by being peaceful and not get into a debate over who said what.

i admit i got burnt badly,it left me broken and scared,i know there are people in worse situations with drugs and crime so mine seems harmless,there's no hope of being friends with them again as old issues would arise,as far i last time knew there where still friends with each other,should i try to forget that part of my past and try move on?.

squonk

I cannot understand your post. To be honest, I'd say just put it behind you and move on. You don't see the people now and you don't have to interact with them in any way so why carry this around with you? Concentrate on your life now and the friends you have at the moment.

LegacyUser

Sorry i was emotive when i wrote that

lock please.

curlzy

Hey OP,

I agree that your post is very confusing, you would get more answers if your post is clear:)

If I understand it right you're still angry with people you stopped being friends with 2 years ago. It really doesn't matter who did what and who said what. The fact you don't even see them means that this isn't a "real" problem, by that I mean that the problem isn't with the actual people in reality, it's with your inability to let go of resentments and anger. I can relate to that, I once stopped talking to a very dear friend for 9 months over a perceived hurt, to my great shame. I tormented myself with thoughts of imagined arguments and conversations, it's bloody exhausting and damaging. You're filling your head with negativity, it's really bad for you.

What I had to realize in order to get over it;

- I'm no more important than anyone else, my upset and hurt are no more important than theirs is.
- I'm not "getting back" at anyone by holding onto the past.
- I'm bigger and smarter than that.

Once I realized all of that, I was able to let it go and once I did I realized I had behaved very badly and was punishing someone that didn't deserve it ( I'm now friends with that person again, thankfully) . That's what matters here is that your thoughts and your behavior are only damaging yourself, no one else, just you. Thankfully you are in charge of both so change them. Not because of what others will think of you but what you'll think of yourself.


All of the stuff you describe above sounds petty, nasty and mean. Have a think about why you don't want to hang out with people like that and make sure you don't end up with the same qualities that you hate in other people.

Best of luck.

Ickle Magoo

marolo wrote: »

Sorry i was emotive when i wrote that

lock please.

Locked as per OP's request.