Hot then you're cold, yes then you're no

LegacyUser

I've been dating a guy lately, we've gone out on 3dates, in between which there was lots of calls& texts. In the last week, nothing. Zilch. Now, I've left him one missed call& a text, so am not being stalkerish or anything
Mentioned this to a pal, and she experienced something similar lately. Dates, all looking well, and then- complete silence, and there's been nothing since.
As my last relationship was a LTR, I'm a bit clueless to the whole dating scene. Do I just leave things as they are? Ie: that's that? I thought we got on great, but maybe the feeling wasn't mutual. However, nothing he said or did indicated that he wasn't keen to continue meeting each other- this is what's the most confusing thing. For example, on our last date, he drove a 4hour round trip to meet me.
My question is, do I now ring/text one last time, or read between the lines as him simply not wanting to meet up anymore for whatever reason?

LegacyUser

Dont bother leaving another message. Two (missed call and text) is more than enough. He knows your expecting contact, he's not responding. Maybe theres a reason, maybe not but if your ever going to hear the reason it will; be when he decides to contact you. I wouldnt bother chasing him now.

Miss Fluff

Ah yes, the mysteriously disappearing man is a common enough phenomenon in the dating scene. :rolleyes: And textbook is normally after a couple of dates. It's happened to me a couple of times in the past and it usually indicates, a. they got impatient waiting for you to put out b. if internet dating someone else has caught their fancy (and you'll invariably hear from him again out of the blue with a ridiculous excuse for absence) or c. he's a flake.

I wouldn't bother with sending a text or calling. If a pattern of behavior (regular texting/calling) takes a sudden change in direction then it's normally a pretty accurate indicator that the dynamic/situation has altered too.

Onwards and upwards hon

LegacyUser

I'd agree about the disappearing man comment, although it has to be said that both sexes are equally adept at the Harry Houdini act. Did you meet this guy through internet dating? I have no direct experience of internet dating myself but I know a couple of people(both male and female)who have tried it and there seems to be whole seperate code of conduct to that of the regular dating world, and not in a good way.
It does sound like this guy has called it quits though. You've done your part, you called and sent a message, he hasnt responded, and unless he's dead or in a coma it means he's being a bit of a coward. Its the way a lot of people are, avoid rather than face things directly. I was dating a girl recently myself and after 3 dates I knew it was going nowhere. She called, I didnt answer, she sent me a text, I didnt reply. I'll be honest and say that the temptation to just not face her and hope she went away was massive. But then I thought about it and if our situations where reversed I know I wouldnt like it if somebody blanked me with no explanation as to why. It was tough but I called her and told her directly that I wanted to knock it on the head and I explained my reasons why.
Op that guy is a coward, he hasnt got the moral courage to face up and be honest with you, so instead he runs away and hides. Would you really want to date a man like that? I know it stings right now to have somebody do the disappearing act on you like that but I think you dodged a bullett there to be honest.

LegacyUser

Probably option a, Miss Fluff. Still, I don't think it's wholly unreasonable to have wanted to wait a little (not much!) longer; bit of mystery and all that jazz- nothing about playing games. Maybe his priorities were different. Ah well.