Financial struggles and keeping optimistic

LegacyUser

Finding the going tough at the moment. I'm optimistic, no mental problems, or anything, but I'm wondering what is it taking out of me. I've been out of full-time work for a year and a half, working a part-time job which is very poor in hours, and managing credit card payments and car loan just about and have managed to avoid having to default on any, but I am living on nothing once rent, bit of petrol and bit of food is paid for. I have to save for a haircut and contact lenses and even for that it puts me at a stretch.I'm eating as well as I can, getting discounted basics in supermarkets, aldi offers, etc. but my diet isn't really adequate, I'm not able to eat much meat and can't afford to take in fruits, etc.

I'm a relentless optimist, I chose the wrong career at the beginning and had to change track which I did almost 2 years ago. I'm fast approaching my thirties and I still have to undergo a masters for one year before I can justly apply for jobs in my new field. I wanted to do that this year but I have to wait now until next year to get the money together, and well I'm looking at moving country soon to get work and save up for that masters.

It's been and still is a long struggle. Is anyone else going through something similar? How are you finding it? I don't know anyone in my circle with things as bad as me - financially. Even those friends of mine who are on the dole live at home, have no bills, and are actually able to put money by. My father is not the types to let us stay at home, ever, nd so I've had to rent this entire time. In fact for various reasons I've had to lie about my work situation to him during this time and make it sound like it's a breeze, there is no empathy there. My siblings stuck with their initial career unlike me and are happy out in their jobs, making good money, in long term relationships, etc.

Would love to hear from people going through something similar to be honest, it's hard going. Thanks

horseone

OP, I can sort of empathise with your situation. I've been blessed to remain working in a well paid job throughout this recession (although I did choose to move to the UK). However some terrible decisions have left me financially hanging for the last 3-4 years. During this time, I've had the added pressure (and lets not forget, joy) of having 2 kids/wife to support also.
The one thing that struck me about your thread is no mention of any support from family or friends. You paint a picture of a very insular existence, perhaps I'm confusing this with independence maybe? Whichever, I can't help but feel you should be leaning on your friends and/or family more so than you have been. Nobody should have to be that strong, which you undoubtedly are. But how never ending is your optimism??
Although I always remained reasonably optimistic when things were fairly tight, this was due in no small part to the support (financial and otherwise) I got from my own family.
Thats what they are there for!
PS - if you could bottle your apparent mental strength/optimism, you'd probably ride out this recession in sheer luxury!

Mighty_Mouse

Sorry to hear your predictament. Its tough out there at the moment. Its bad enough to have little or no income but making credit repayments is a killer. You seem like a naturally optimistic person who's just a little worn down.

1st. Fok 30. It will come and go and you'll wonder what all the fuss is about. Different people take different paths to different places etc.......! You made a positive change in your life which will work out long-term. You're just caught by circumstance in a short-term cash-flow situation.

2nd Fok what other people are doing. See above.Different people take longer to find out what suits them in life. The fact you've had the guts to decide you want better for yourself in life by retraining shows character, independence, motivation, self-awareness, intelligence....etc.

Step back, refocus, you're doing the right thing for the right reasons.

Financial:
Car - What size car are you driving? Would it be possible to sell the car? Could you buy a 1 ltr run around for €2000? Is a bike feasible?To a non-cyclist it seems nuts to suggest but 20-30k a day is nothing on a good bike is good for all sorts of reasons

Loans - The banks are people. Go to them. Explaing your situation. Suggest rolling the bank loan and credit-card loan into one longer term loan deferring the 1st year payments on the basis of your student status and the expectation that you will be earning more in 1 years time at which point you could make the repayments comfortably. Take a quick look at where the jobs market is and the salary expectation there.

Rent - is there anyway you could shop around for cheaper?
Be careful not to move into a horrible place as it could break your spirit completely.

Tax - Are you claiming all your tax credits, rent tax credit, bins, medical bills etc

3rd level support: - Is there any povery support mechanism within the college? Most 3rd levels have funds to support students who are really struggling.

Is there anyway of supplementing your part-time work. Grinds? JC, LC, 1st year college student grinds?

Health - you need a destress valve.Being broke is a good time to get fit. Keeps the brain and body tuned positively in hard times.
Also "training for something"...is a good excuse for not drinking on nights out. (in Ireland!!)

College jobs - is there any jobs going for september. Cloak room, student union etc are all ways of knocking 50 bucks a month from.

Professional jobs - i know its probably impossible to tackle you're particular job market without qualification but could be no harm to identify employers. Ring them up and ask what graduate programmes them have. Something may or may not pop up but it keeps you thinking progressively & is a step towards next year.

Family - I know you're family have cut the cord but times are hard. Shoot straight, tell your dad your situation. Ask is he would consider letting you move in short-term. Pay €30 a week in expenses.?

Finally, don't worry what people think. Be confident in yourself that you are doing the right things for the right reasons. Make the changes you need to make to survive and back yourself to come through this short-time period successfully.

LegacyUser

Wow thanks a lot for those responses, you have given me a lot of heart. I'm going to have to start being less hard on myself. I think it's all the discipline of the past year and a half/ 2 years that is finally starting to go hard on me because I'm not yet seeing the results. I'm not into money, at all, I just want for now to get by (more easily) and long-term to have a rewarding job and enough to make a living and not have to stress like this again.

My car is modest so not much to be saved by trading down, I'd get about 3.5k for it now, so I'm just going to keep it long-term and I thankfully have just two payments left to go on that loan. I am still looking for another job and if I can't get anything here in next 6 weeks I'm going to look to London for the next 12 months or so. I personally don't care what other people think and I know deep down that is the secret. But my father does care and wouldn't want me at home at any costs so that is just a no-go area. And for instance I can't apply to shops cause he'd be annoyed about that. Hence why I'm leaving for London, I can do any job there in peace. You're right, my family haven't been there for me. My siblings have no empathy partly because they've never had financial difficulties or changed career. When you're self-studying as I have been people see it differently to a formal degree and don't take you as seriously, even though I've been packing in serious hours of study. I'd have been there for them. So this whole thing has made me increasingly put distance between myself and them. My mother passed away years ago and I stepped into that role and looked after my father. They did nothing much to help out and don't even see that, they think that calling home for a few hours is equal to what I did in terms of getting my father to eat properly, take up hobbies, bring him on little trips, etc. The funny thing is that my father doesn't fully appreciate the efforts either. I've stopped going home in past few months for these reasons, and also because I have to look after myself, and the awful thing is that it breaks my heart as my little brother is just 19 and after starting college and I don't want him to see this fall-out when he had to lose our mother at such a young age.

It's just I'm starting to feel my morale fade I guess and want to catch it in time. Will take that advice about exercising more, I do some walking but I could do more. Would get me out of the house in the evenings more so too.

Mighty_Mouse

I'm going to have to start being less hard on myself.

Exactly.
Motivate yourself to work hard towards the things you want in life.
Make a plan and forget about everything else. You're a good person. That's all genuine people expect from you.

I thankfully have just two payments left to go on that loan

Right, thats a relief.
Cut the top of the credit card so you can only use it for online ticket purchases.
Or better still burn it!! The interest repayments are probably in the region of 18%. You could get a short-term loan with 1 year delayed for about 8%.
(no research, rough guess)

And for instance I can't apply to shops cause he'd be annoyed about that.

He won't support you in any way in life yet tells you what you can/cannot do.
He can't have it both ways.
I would work at anything/anywhere/anytime if I was broke enough & I wouldn't give 2c what anybody else thought.

Leaving for London may not be the worst decision though. Away from the pressures of home. London is buzzing at the moment with the olympics next year and loads of Irish fleeing from home.

the awful thing is that it breaks my heart as my little brother is just 19 a

Your relationship with your brother is your responsibility. Even if you are not home much, there are other ways of maintaining this.

I do some walking but I could do more. Would get me out of the house in the evenings more so too.

Start reading up on fitness/healthy eating and its benefits. See if it influences you positively or gives you ideas of even small things you might like to try.