Have I missed the boat with this guy?

LegacyUser

Okay, my story in short....

last august i broke up with my ex-boyfriend of almost four years. we got back together for a few weeks over christmas, but it didnt work out so we ended it again.

In january this yeah I met a new guy at a local bar who came onto me right away and within 30 seconds had asked me out on a date, to which i obviously said no. I left the bar early that night but my friends stayed and gave him my name so he could add me on facebook.

We chatted very briefly over facebook and he asked me out again. I didnt actually say no but i didnt openly say, 'yes when shall we go out', so i think he took this as a no, or she's not keen. At the time I was still a bit tender from my ex so i didnt want to be messed around - he seemed like a player at the time!!

I wasnt interested in seeing anyone at the time so I left things, then in April/May I saw him out again and I ended up drinking with him all night and having such a laugh. he did tell me he was sort of seeing someone though, so although he liked me, he said he wanted to try and be true to her. which i appreciated and understood.

Thing is, as time's passed I've become hugely attracted to this man and now I want him more than ever!!! I've played it as cool as possible, but when i see him the chemistry is so right and we always end up spending all our time together. He's very cocky (which I like about him) and will say things like 'you had your chance and you blew it', which he's right about, but im trying not to let him see that.

So, my question is do I wait quietly and let fate take its course? I get the impression with men, when you become too available they lose interest....

Thanks for any advice xx

Kevin Duffy

boycrush wrote: »

Thing is, as time's passed I've become hugely attracted to this man and now I want him more than ever!!! I've played it as cool as possible, but when i see him the chemistry is so right and we always end up spending all our time together. He's very cocky (which I like about him) and will say things like 'you had your chance and you blew it', which he's right about, but im trying not to let him see that.

So, my question is do I wait quietly and let fate take its course? I get the impression with men, when you become too available they lose interest....

Thanks for any advice xx

If he is with somone else now, then yes, you have missed the boat. Bad luck on the timing for when you felt ready and he was available not matching.

If he's not with someone else, then you started by telling him "no" (or as good as) and the bolded parts above have all suggested to him you're still at "no", so why would he try again? Game playing and hiding what you're thinking or feeling rarely gets you what you want, honesty is the only way to start.

IrishEyes19

I think you have blown it to be honest and I think you should leave it go now. dont be the other girl who gets in the way of another relationship. Seriously. I also think he;s very cocky to be saying that sort of stuff to you regarding that you blew it and Im sure he loves it. But be decent and walk away. Dont hurt another girl because you didnt act on it. best of luck

Katgurl

You haven't mentioned if he's single again now but regardless I reckon you're still in there. All that you-had-your-chance sounds like good old fashioned flirting to me.

I wouldn't bother with the heavy-heavies I'd simply ramp up the flirting - next time he refernces it, laugh and say cheekily "what a fool I was".

He'll get the message quick enough.