Sexy, sound and still blanked??!!!!

LegacyUser

GGrrrrrr,

So, this may seem like I'm some big headed hussie but I can assure you that I'm not.

My problem is that last weekend I slept with a guy who I've known for a couple of weeks and since then I've heard nothing. Basically, we know each other from home but are both living in Barcelona and happened to run into each other at a session on Friday. We never knew each other well at home, just met at parties etc but he always made it obvious he fancied me.

Anyway, we met at this party and shagged and it was amazing...I mean proper great sex.
He said he'd call and we'd hook up and he seemed so genuine. We are both new to this city and he seemed so into me that I believed him. I am beautiful and sound and cant understand why he blanked me afterwards??

can someone explain why a guy would turn down sex with babe?:(

We are both 27 btw

ash23

confusedmuse wrote: »

GGrrrrrr,

So, this may seem like I'm some big headed hussie but I can assure you that I'm not.

My problem is that last weekend I slept with a guy who I've known for a couple of weeks and since then I've heard nothing. Basically, we know each other from home but are both living in Barcelona and happened to run into each other at a session on Friday. We never knew each other well at home, just met at parties etc but he always made it obvious he fancied me.

Anyway, we met at this party and shagged and it was amazing...I mean proper great sex.
He said he'd call and we'd hook up and he seemed so genuine. We are both new to this city and he seemed so into me that I believed him. I am beautiful and sound and cant understand why he blanked me afterwards??

can someone explain why a guy would turn down sex with babe?:(

We are both 27 btw

Because you were a one night stand. The clue is in the name. Not being short with you but that's really all I can say. If you have a fling with someone or sleep with them after a night on the beer, don't be too surprised if that's all you ever hear from them.
Some people are happy to have one nighters and leave it at that. If you aren't ok with that, you need to get to know someone better before sleeping with them.

I am a friend

As Ash23 said but also, Barcelona is full of babes. He probably wants to enjoy the city fully and that means not getting himself tied down to a girl from home when there are so many good looking girls to try out... Plus, maybe he has a gf...

syklops

What do you mean by "he blanked me". Do you mean he didnt ring you? Maybe he lost your number? Or put it into his phone wrong? Or maybe he is shy. Dont underestimate the shyness of some men, even after being with them.

Did you try and get in contact with him?

Miss Fluff

confusedmuse wrote: »

I am beautiful and sound and cant understand why he blanked me afterwards??

Do you make a habit of going around proclaiming you're beautiful or are you merely stating this for illustrative purposes in PI? Because I know an awful lot of people who are easy on the eye who wouldn't use such an adjective about themselves. :rolleyes:

Maybe he finds it a massive turn-off that you refer to yourself in this manner perhaps?

premierlass

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Do you make a habit of going around proclaiming you're beautiful or are you merely stating this for illustrative purposes in PI? Because I know an awful lot of people who are easy on the eye who wouldn't use such an adjective about themselves. :rolleyes:

Maybe he finds it a massive turn-off that you refer to yourself in this manner perhaps?

Good point. Or perhaps the OP is insecure.

OP, you might want to take things slowly in future.

Rocket19

Ooh, this sounds as if you're taking the p*ss, but perhaps you're just naive. I have to say the fact you're 27 surprises me - I really don't mean that in a mean way.

Have you never had a one-night-stand before? Well let me tell you that guys don't have them because they're looking for a girlfriend. They are, quite simply, looking for someone to have sex with for the night.

Its sex. If the guy was in it for more than just the sex, don't you think he would have gone down a more 'proper' route in the first place? If both people understand the fact that its not about YOU, its about sex, about the ACT, it can be fun.
Basically, he didn't have sex with you because he wanted to have sex with YOU in particular, he just wanted sex and you were pretty enough to be a candidate.
If you can't accept this, you really shouldn't be having one-night-stands. This guy obviously doesn't want a relationship. He's not rejecting you really, because there was no emotions there in the first place. You both 'used' each other for sex.

Now, I'm not judging you for having a one-night-stand. I had a one like 3 weeks ago.
I haven't talked to that guy since, but we have mutual friends. I know he fancied/fancies me, but the thing is, I don't mind that he hasn't txted me because I never expected him to. I know he doesn't want a relationship, and as I far as I've heard, he's been with a couple of girls since (yuck).

I'm sure you are pretty, but you don't need some guy to like you for you to feel validated.
Its funny that you keep emphasising how beautiful you are, but at the same time, you seem awwwfully threatened by what this guy thinks of you. If you want a guy to appreciate you for YOU, don't be his one-night-stand. If you understand its about sex, then fine, but sounds like you can't handle it (this is not necessarily a bad thing). x

Lux23

I would just take a leaf out this guys book and go out and enjoy the wonderful city you are living in. I hear Barcelona is full of hotties so go have fun with them!

catch me if you can

prob because you were not a challenge having had sex with him so soon. sorry but its prob true.
in my experience if a guy really is into you he doesnt want to just jump staright into bed. he wants to know you too.
you were a conquest. beautiful or not.
also your looks doesnt automatically guarantee you a relationship. guys are not that dumb.

gerryk

There are a hundred reasons why this might have happened. Some are covered above. Another possibility is that since you said that he knew you from before and always fancied you, that he saw you as a conquest, which he has now conquered, or perhaps he had you put on a pedestal, or built some sort of preconception of you, which you did not match.

These are not bad things, they are just things. Just because people are incompatible, doesn't make it anyones fault, it just is what it is.

Of course, he may have just lost your number too.

LegacyUser

Why do some people take such issue with women who are confident about their looks?
The OP hasn't said that she is the most beautiful woman in the world, or that she thinks everyone else is ugly or beneath her, she is just stating that she herself is very attractive. I honestly don't see what the problem with that is, as long as she is not putting others down. I hate the fact that people expect everyone to have this false modesty and that nobody should blow their own trumpet. If you consider yourself intelligent or beautiful, you should be able to admit it without being accused of being full of yourself or having an arrogant attitude. I'm sure the OP doesn't go running around to everyone saying, hey, did you notice how beautiful I am? I think she is just adding some detail and context to her query here in PI. Admitting that you believe you are beautiful does not equal being arrogant. Putting others down and belittling them because you believe you are superior is arrogance, but the OP has not done that so far. You get people saying that the person must be insecure because a secure person would be much more modest and self depreciating and doesn't feel the need to compliment themselves. In some cases this might be true, but I think a lot of the time people are modest and self depreciating because they know the reaction they will get if they are not. The most insecure people in my opinion are the ones who take such issue with a woman or man who are quite openly happy and confident about their appearance or intelligence.
I think it is a great thing that you are happy with how you look OP, and it is not something to be ashamed or shy about. People are always telling us to learn to love ourselves, and yet when someone is happy with themselves they sometimes get treated with hostility and cattiness by people they know or so called friends. It is quite sad really.

OP I think that it might have just been a one night stand situation for him, and that he is just not looking for anything more. I wouldn't take it personally, he probably just wants to have fun with lots of different people and not just one woman. If this upsets you, then all you can do is try to avoid one night stands in the future. Although I get the impression that because you knew him from home, you thought that it might be something more. It's just not what he's looking for, it would likely be the same situation with any girl he might have slept with that night, so again, I wouldn't take it too personally.

LegacyUser

I agree with Bonnybonbon.

There is nothing wrong with a 27 year old girl recognising her own beauty.

I also disagree with some posters here. I had a one stand at 18 and ended up having a relationship with the guy for 3 years. I had a one night stand at 23 and lived with him for 5 years/ almost got married. At 32 I slept with a man on a first date and now I'm married to him.

Sometimes I think a guy will only stick around for the chase leading up to the sex - and by sex I don't just mean sex, I mean 'consummation'/the end of the chase, so sometimes holding out won't change the outcome all that much. This has happened to me as well (age about 30) - I went out with someone for 2 mnths and when we finally went all the way, he disappeared!

HOWEVER, during my single periods I've had one nighters and ended up feeling hurt and lonely.

OP, like you I had a many guys tell me I was beautiful and amazing and then never call. It's really confusing and hurtful. But if someone said that to you, they probably meant it (at the time/in the moment). Most of what happens in life is about timing. Right now, this guy is 27, abroad and probably has zero plans to get involved with something serious.
IMO if someone is looking for a relationship and thinks you're fantastic, they may well pursue it (as my men did - and others didn't!) but you if you want a date, arrange a date. Otherwise accept that about 90% of one night stands - and about 80% of dating relationships - go nowhere, regardless of how beautiful you are or how beautiful he thinks you are.
But anyway, lucky you, Barcelona, age 27, get out and have a good time!

Miss Fluff

BonnyBonBon wrote: »

Why do some people take such issue with women who are confident about their looks?

I certainly don't. I'm a woman's woman and proud of my own looks - I think attractiveness is to be celebrated. I'd never ever hold it against another woman for being pretty either. As far as I'm concerned there will always be someone more beautiful, more funny, more intelligent, wittier, thinner and richer than me. That goes without saying.

I do however find the OPs manner rather strange truth be told. If it's to merely get across the point that she's attractive then that's fine. But personally I thought it was done with a vulgarity which, if she projects to other people in real time and in real life, then I am not surprised people might be put off by it.

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I certainly don't. I'm a woman's woman and proud of my own looks - I think attractiveness is to be celebrated. I'd never ever hold it against another woman for being pretty either. As far as I'm concerned there will always be someone more beautiful, more funny, more intelligent, wittier, thinner and richer than me. That goes without saying.

I do however find the OPs manner rather strange truth be told. If it's to merely get across the point that she's attractive then that's fine. But personally I thought it was done with a vulgarity which, if she projects to other people in real time and in real life, then I am not surprised people might be put off by it.

I know you're not a bitchy or jealous person Miss Fluff, I've read a few of your posts before and you come across as a very nice person. I did find your reply to be a bit hostile though because of the rolly eyes, and it just reminded me of an attitude I've noticed from a majority of people in general. My previous post isn't directly aimed at you though, more just at things I've noticed in everyday life in relation with the way very confident people are often disliked because of it. I think we have just both taken up the OP's post in a different way. I personally don't see any vulgarity in her attitude so far, but I appreciate that everyone could view it in their own way.

AnonoBoy

luckyluckluckylady wrote: »

I also disagree with some posters here. I had a one stand at 18 and ended up having a relationship with the guy for 3 years. I had a one night stand at 23 and lived with him for 5 years/ almost got married.

Those weren't one night stands.

LegacyUser

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Those weren't one night stands.

Well they were both strangers and I had stranger sex with them. So although they ended up being much more, the relationships started in the same way as other stranger sex I've had... that stayed one night stands.

Oh, it's so scary writing 'stranger sex'. Who was I was & what on earth was I thinking???
Gambling eh? Sometimes you win and sometimes you loose... I wouldn't do it again though - or would I?

Johnny Favourite

I'm living in Barcelona at he moment and I think you would have to be seriously seriously hot to hold a young man attention in this town. There are incredibly hot chicks everywhere!!!

gosuckonalemon

Johnny Favourite wrote: »

I'm living in Barcelona at he moment and I think you would have to be seriously seriously hot to hold a young man attention in this town. There are incredibly hot chicks everywhere!!!

Agreed! You might be alright looking (even if you do say so yourself) but come on, Irish girls are nothing compared to Barca girls.

Anytime I've lived abroad I've only had my sights on the local talent, not much excitement in going to a foreign city to shack up with some girl from down the road.

I'd forget about it, you sound gamey enough, go out and enjoy yourself.

Pero tiene que utilisar los preservatios siempre! No olvida chica!

nicechick!

BonnyBonBon wrote: »

Why do some people take such issue with women who are confident about their looks?
The OP hasn't said that she is the most beautiful woman in the world, or that she thinks everyone else is ugly or beneath her, she is just stating that she herself is very attractive. I honestly don't see what the problem with that is, as long as she is not putting others down. I hate the fact that people expect everyone to have this false modesty and that nobody should blow their own trumpet. If you consider yourself intelligent or beautiful, you should be able to admit it without being accused of being full of yourself or having an arrogant attitude. I'm sure the OP doesn't go running around to everyone saying, hey, did you notice how beautiful I am? I think she is just adding some detail and context to her query here in PI. Admitting that you believe you are beautiful does not equal being arrogant. Putting others down and belittling them because you believe you are superior is arrogance, but the OP has not done that so far. You get people saying that the person must be insecure because a secure person would be much more modest and self depreciating and doesn't feel the need to compliment themselves. In some cases this might be true, but I think a lot of the time people are modest and self depreciating because they know the reaction they will get if they are not. The most insecure people in my opinion are the ones who take such issue with a woman or man who are quite openly happy and confident about their appearance or intelligence.
I think it is a great thing that you are happy with how you look OP, and it is not something to be ashamed or shy about. People are always telling us to learn to love ourselves, and yet when someone is happy with themselves they sometimes get treated with hostility and cattiness by people they know or so called friends. It is quite sad really.

OP I think that it might have just been a one night stand situation for him, and that he is just not looking for anything more. I wouldn't take it personally, he probably just wants to have fun with lots of different people and not just one woman. If this upsets you, then all you can do is try to avoid one night stands in the future. Although I get the impression that because you knew him from home, you thought that it might be something more. It's just not what he's looking for, it would likely be the same situation with any girl he might have slept with that night, so again, I wouldn't take it too personally.

Well said!!

I am a friend

gosuckonalemon wrote: »

Pero tiene que utilisar los preservatios siempre! No olvida chica!

:rolleyes:

Especially if you are handing around with gamey Irish guys...

LegacyUser

ash23 wrote: »

Because you were a one night stand. The clue is in the name. Not being short with you but that's really all I can say. If you have a fling with someone or sleep with them after a night on the beer, don't be too surprised if that's all you ever hear from them.
Some people are happy to have one nighters and leave it at that. If you aren't ok with that, you need to get to know someone better before sleeping with them.

this has to be the best most direct advice I have ever seen on boards, going to right it down for when female friends ask the same question, end disscussion.

Eve_Dublin

I live in Madrid and I can tell you now, Spanish men are great lovers, OP and more affectionate. Take advantage of the time you've there. Plenty of time to be hooking up with men from "down the road".

whirlpool

If someone called themselves "sexy" and a "babe" and "sound" I would run a mile.

The OP is having a laugh, and this thread is a joke. I guarantee the OP is reading all the "serious" responses and laughing at them.


And btw, there is a difference between thinking you are good-looking, and stating it as fact (which is what you have done in your post.)
Being good-looking is subjective. Telling other people what good-looking is (i.e. what the OP has done here) is arrogant. Everyone can decide for themselves what is good-looking or not.
It's not up to you to decide who is and isn't good-looking. For all you know, I could think you're an absolute dog.

So if the OP was being serious (which I highly doubt), then to answer your question I'd say it's your arrogance and ridiculousness that made him run a mile. Oh and maybe he thought you were a dog.

Good luck to ye.