What the hell am I doing?

LegacyUser

Hey

I broke up with my ex about a year ago, we're on good terms now. He was my first sexual partner.

Since we broke up, I have slept with 6 different blokes, 2 were an on-going thing and 4 were one night stands. I'm safe and sexually healthy but something just doesn't feel right.

I'm over my ex and we're friends so it's nothing to do with that. But I'm just concerned that I have basically become a tramp. I think it's the feeling of being so wanted when the sex is happening, and the build up to it and everything.

The only problem is, I get mad for the lads afterwards, I look at their facebooks all the time, i love when they text me, I imagine the next time we're going to get to see each other and him wanting me again. It's pathetic.

I had a ONS with a randomer I met out on Saturday night and the sex was amazing and the next morning we had a savage conversation and I was trying to keep it cool, gave him my number and said here, only text me if ya want dont worry about it. He said I was the coolest girl he'd ever met and he'd text me later on. Of course, I haven't heard a peep out of him. I'm kinda annoyed like, even though I wasn't expecting him to text.

If I get so attached, ONS are hardly the best idea in the world, but whatever it is about me, fellas dont want a relationship, just sex so if it's all I'm good for, why should I stop??

Anyone out there have opinions on One night stands? Yay? Nay?

Thanks xx

I am a friend

youknowimnogood wrote: »

Yay? Nay?

You are not a tramp!!!!

Yay if you can handle it and Nay if you cant. Doesnt sound to me like you can fully handle it so maybe back off from the ONS's for a while?

Otis Driftwood

Firstly,6 blokes in about 12 months does not a tramp make,who is to say what a tramp is anyway?Only you can draw that line for yourself.

As for ONS's,to be honest,they dont sound like they are for you and Id hazard a guess that you are still on the rebound from your ex to a certain extent - first love,lost your virginity to etc.

You say that blokes only want you for sex but the sad fact is that many men would not want a relationship with someone they had sex with on the first time of meeting.Its a massive double standard but Im afraid it does exist.

Maybe try going out and meeting blokes but not sleeping with them on the first night if you arent happy with things as they have been going.

ONS's are a very personal thing and no 2 people will have the same opinion on them.

Miss Fluff

youknowimnogood wrote: »

If I get so attached, ONS are hardly the best idea in the world, but whatever it is about me, fellas dont want a relationship, just sex so if it's all I'm good for, why should I stop??

If you want more than sex then don't have sex with them. If you meet someone and you genuinely think you like them then maybe don't put out the moment you meet them? Get to know them a bit better and then sleep with them when the timing is right?

I'd also ditch the self-deprecation. If you project the image that "sex is all I'm good for" then how do you expect people to think otherwise?

Give yourself a break girl! You're not a tramp. But I don't think you're cut out for ONS's. I never was either. They're fine for some people but you're evidently not cut out for them so why put yourself through it?

fallen01angel

Hi OP.
As has been said here already,no one has the right to morally judge anyone...unfortunately when it comes to girls and ONS alot of guys do....they seem to forget that they were there too!!And some guys would be more reluctant to meet up with a girl for a date if she slept with them on the 1st night meeting...which is a pathetic double standard(him legend/her slag:mad:)!!
I think you're being hard on yourself,6 guys certainly does not make you a "tramp" but if you're mentally giving yourself a hard time then you should just take a break from guys for a while,by all means go out and have a good time but leave the casual hook alone till you work out what you really want.Maybe you're looking for the whole package that you had with your ex-good sex with good relationship.You're not going to find that with a ONS to be honest.
Best of Luck.

LegacyUser

It sounds like even though your over your ex and not particularly interested in having a relationship you miss the comfort involved with having a connection with the person your having sex with.

Since your first experience of sex was in a caring relationship you probably associate sex with being part of a solid loving relationship and so when you have a one night stand or fling you get swept up in those feelings.

Personally I think thats a lovely association to have. But that aside your not a slut for having a few sexual partners under your belt (so to speak) if you enjoy what your doing fair play to you. If its making you feel bad then maybe casual sex isn't for you. If your looking to form a connection with a guy, shagging them straight off the bat just starts it out with a skewed idea of whats on offer.

Zebra3

OP,

From what you posted above when you gave the ONSer your number you maybe made it sound too casual as if "I do this all the time, gimme a shout if you want, but I'm not bothered".

Now obviously that wasn't the case, but it's possible that's how he saw it.

No harm going home with a bloke, but if you really like him as a potential b/f just hold back a bit on the first night and let him chase you as bit.