Do I have a Gambling Problem?

LegacyUser

Male, mid 20's.

My girlfreind says I have a gambling problem.

I dont bet horses/dogs/football or even enter a bookies. I play poker.

I play at least once a week and no more than twice per week.
I work full time and spend less than €50 average weekly on poker. And win fairly regulary

Its always in an actual cardroom not online. I just love the characters I meet when I play.
I beleive poker is a SKILL and therefore NOT gambling as such.

I play by "reading" my opponents and taking many factors and calculations into account before betting/calling. Its the psyhcological asspect of the game I love the most.

She says I will at least develop a problem down the line. Losing my family/friends/money just like the other regular bums in the casino.

Is she over-reacting.


So to sum up and clear confusion.

Most weeks are like this:

One day per week. Usualy a Sunday I pay ~€30-€50 for hours of enjoyment.

I dont re-buy or grab more money to play.

After I lose or win I go home and buy nice things for me and her with the winnings.

I dont gamble during the week.

The following week I play again.

There is no debts. We have lots of disposable income.

Your advice please.

January

Hobby in my opinion... but your girlfriend is obviously not comfortable with gambling which is something she needs to get past...

Curry Addict

enjoy, its a hobby.
your gf is the one with the problem, her perspective of it is odd imho.

Esoteric_

I grew up with a gambling addict parent in the house who to be frank, nearly destroyed us all.

My point in saying that is that I am pretty easily able to spot the signs of an addict or even potential addict (I also lived with an alcoholic for 2 years and watched him go from social drinker to raging alcoholic). Now, I do NOT think you have a problem. As the others have said, it's a hobby. If we're gonna talk about hobbies, I currently spend less on my hobbies than you but when I have more disposable income, I'd spend a lot more than you on my hobbies (my archery bow alone cost about a grand ).

The thing is, some of the things you say are quite honestly things an addict may say, about it not being gambling because it's a skill and you like reading other people and such. Now don't get me wrong, I love a game of poker or chess or anything like that which involves a psychological game, but although it may just be the way you worded things, it comes across as though you have the potential to become an addict easily enough.

That doesn't mean you bow to your gf's wishes and quit poker. You stick to a certain amount, never go over it and don't do it an excessive amount. You enjoy a hobby a couple of times a week, that's NOT an addiction. I'd spell that out clearly to your girlfriend. I would advise you though to keep a check on your behaviour with regards to gambling so that the potential to become an addict never becomes a reality.

Lucyx

It sounds like you just enjoy it as a hobby but do keep an eye on it.

Would you find it difficult if you didn't play poker for a few weeks? Would you have any withdrawal symptoms from it? Also are there any kind of addictions in your family cos that kinda thing defo runs in the genes eg if one of your parents was an alcoholic then you may have tendencies towards addictions.

If this in no way interferes with your everyday life then theres no problem.

premierlass

LyndaMcL wrote: »

The thing is, some of the things you say are quite honestly things an addict may say, about it not being gambling because it's a skill and you like reading other people and such. Now don't get me wrong, I love a game of poker or chess or anything like that which involves a psychological game, but although it may just be the way you worded things, it comes across as though you have the potential to become an addict easily enough.

I agree with this - and looking down your nose at the others who frequent casinos is also a warning sign.

Again, you don't have to give it up, but do be aware of the very real potential for addiction.

I am a friend

I dont think you are an addict but surely if its causing issues in your relationship then you do have a problem?

I abhorr gambling as I saw a family I know ruined by it. I would have no interest in being involved with someone who gambles on any level but thats just my thing...

You can argue the chase forever - you dont think you have a problem, your gf does but there is no middle ground here. Its most likely gambling or her..

Kevin Duffy

How about working out some agreed limits to it, to reassure her? Set yourself a budget, you seem to be sticking to one anyway, set yourself time limits, add in some exemptions for tournaments, classics etc. Agree it with her and she can stop worrying, plus you'll have some indication if it does start to become a problem.

tenchi-fan

Once or twice a week? That's time you could be spending with your girlfriend! (sounds like she's jealous of your hobby)

MitchKoobski

No you don't have a gambling problem!

You play once a week as a hobby, you only bet with a set amount (set by yourself) and stick to it, any winnings you spend on yourself and her.

It sounds to me like she wants you to be spending time with her on those days too.

You're not doing a thing wrong, but if you wanted to you could look into doing it every two weeks or only 3/4 weeks.

LegacyUser

thats not an addiction buddy, your missus has the problem not you.

barbiegirl

When I met my hubbie he played online poker a couple of times a week and my mum was worried (her dad had been a gambler). However when I asked him, he showed me his credit card statement, he only has one card, and his average monthly spend was about €35 excluding winnings. It was a hobby, he like you enjoyed it.
These days he doesn't play anymore not cause I asked him not to, but I suppose when we moved in together we found other hobbies to keep us busy
My formula for if you have a problem with anything is, if it is affecting your life to an extent that expands beyond the time actually spent doing it and if asked to give it up can you and will you. If the answer, following a reasoned agruement as to why you should give up, is no. Then maybe you do have a problem. This applies to two drinks after the match, €50 a week on gambling, trips to the beauty salon, playing golf, anything.

moco

tenchi-fan wrote: »

Once or twice a week? That's time you could be spending with your girlfriend! (sounds like she's jealous of your hobby)

Yea, your girlfriend might be trying to make out you have a problem as she thinks you should be spending that time from her.

Anyway, if you’re being totally honest with yourself and everything you’ve written above is true than I would say you don’t have a gambling problem.

I would see it as being the same as someone spending that money on a night out, or a sporting activity that you have to pay for like hiring tennis courts or a golf course fees.