An amazing girl and a big dilemma!

GEKKO135

Hi there,

So OK, probably the biggest dilemma I've ever had when it comes to a girl i like. Last Saturday i was dj'ing at a surprise 30th party (organised for a girlfriend) and during the night i was told by the bday girl that a particular girl liked me (the bday girls boyfriends younger sister). To my amazement the girl she was talking about was stunning, in every sense of the word. To add to that she was strangly different from a lot of other girls i know ie she's not on facebook, she doesn't usually drink much (not a generalisation btw just comparing to girls i know), she likes yoga and rap music and she wants to write books. To be fully honest she's by far the most attractive girl that's ever come on to me. Anyway to cut the story short we got chatting on and off throughout the night, and at one stage nipped outside for a drink with her as no1 was in the dance room (slightly unprofessional i know). Later on she offered her number and she said she would like to hang out. I didn't have my phone on me and so i put my number in her phone, saved my number in her phone, and then rang my phone. However, when i got hold of my phone it was actually dead so i didnt get her number. As i recall i did explain this to her, by explain i mean try and shout it over the music. At the end of the night she came up gave me a kiss on the cheek off she went.


3 days have gone by now and still no text. In my books 3 days is the limit.
The past three days have literally been psychological torture and I don't think I can forgive myself for not taking her number by writing it down or throwing it in my laptop. I don't know whether she is expecting me to text her or what. But here's the thing, the guy who organised the party is her brother and i got on well enough with him that night, so is it an option to ring her older brother and explain the situation and try to get her number off him? I also know from my conversation with his sister that she works in a shop not so far from where i live, so is it an option to go to where she works and ask her out? Both sound like desperate measures but i feel that i shouldnt just do nothing! Im a firm believer in that if you really want something you gotta just go and get it!



But from a womans perspective are either of these an option? am i just clutching at straws? What should i do? male opinions welcome also.

Thanks for reading

Stheno

moved from tLL

krudler

do you have the birthday girls number? ask her if she has the girls number you like, if she does, give her a call. I seriously doubt she has no interest if she was that open about liking you, you can either ask and have something happen, or you'll have a story to tell about that hot girl you liked who came onto you that one time and nothing came of it, but being a dj I'm sure you have enough stories, go get her!

ForeverYoung90

Ok Im a male and ive been in this type off situation.What you're doing now is what I like to call "pussyfooting around da place".Your the man and men make things happen.Go to that shop and talk to that amazing girl!Simple.

GEKKO135

krudler wrote: »

do you have the birthday girls number? ask her if she has the girls number you like, if she does, give her a call. I seriously doubt she has no interest if she was that open about liking you, you can either ask and have something happen, or you'll have a story to tell about that hot girl you liked who came onto you that one time and nothing came of it, but being a dj I'm sure you have enough stories, go get her!

unfortunately i only have the brothers number, which is fairly high risk.

baby and crumble

I'd just say go into the shop and ask her out. if she says no, she says no, but it's highly unlikely that she will, considering she seemed quite keen. She probably had no idea what you were yelling at her about your phone in the club, so she's probably waiting for you to contact her... Maybe there'll be a new thread soon...

"So i met this really cute guy who was djing at a party I was at at the weekend..."

Hardi1

Dont go near the brother. Go to the shop. Tell her how your phone didnt save her number. Ask her for her number and save it this time.Dont ask her out while she's working. Then later on the same day, text her. Dont complicate things already, leave that to us gurls... Good luck!!

tazbars

ok well maybe I'm generalising but I know for sure my brother would not appreciate a phonecall from somone looking for my number and I'm only 4 years younger than him! I think your only option is to turn up at the shop :eek:

Canluum

She was clearly very interested... but you didn't take the reigns fast enough after she'd put herself out there and her interest level dropped somewhat. You shoved her up there on goddess pedestal territory and it reflected on your behaviour as a lack of confidence.

ForeverYoung90 wrote: »

Ok Im a male and ive been in this type off situation.What you're doing now is what I like to call "pussyfooting around da place".Your the man and men make things happen.Go to that shop and talk to that amazing girl!Simple.

While I wouldn't phrase it quite like this... I absolutely concur you should HTFU and just head down the shop. Something along the lines of making and holding eye contact, approach with confidence with a little personal smile like you just remembered something funny... say:
"hey..." "So might you be free tomorrow night? I want to take you out for a drink". Confidence confidence confidence, don't pussyfoot around, hint, suggest you have any kind of open schedule... you're offering her an opportunity, she doesn't want to miss her chance!

Devolve yourself from the outcome... if you go there putting the weight of the world on what's basically just a date, you'll screw it up royally.

I recommend just assuming with absolute stubborn confidence that you'll be successful and the whole time think "she's totally into me, yeah, she wants me so bad"... distasteful a mantra as that may seem, unbefitting of your shop goddess, it's internal... also it humanises her. She is after all just a person, not some deity who has blessed you with the honour of her attention. No woman wants a man who thinks that way.

Oh just suggest one night, "tomorrow" or "wednesday night" if she says she's busy on whatever night you say and doesn't make a counter offer "but I'm free thursday...", her loss so treat her like a gent "ah well, twas nice to meet you anyway" and depart.

Also, not that she's likely to ask but you definitely shouldn't tell her you trawled through your personal network to find out she worked there. If she does ask just wink and tap your nose or give some vague answer with a touch of humour... alluring romantic mystery or creepy stalking is all a matter of perspective.

Canluum

Hardi1 wrote: »

Go to the shop. Tell her how your phone didnt save her number. Ask her for her number and save it this time.Dont ask her out while she's working. Then later on the same day, text her.

Dont complicate things already

Personally I think that is overcomplicating things. Ask her out when she's working. If you can bother her enough to tell her a big story about how your phone didn't save her number last time and now by the powers of logic she owes you a number... (and meekly ask her out by text later!? torturing yourself waiting for a response) then you can ask her out at the shop! It's a) much quicker and b) shows confidence.

IMHO you definitely shouldn't try get her number until after you ask her out and get the yes. Then its just a matter of "oh by the way my phone didn't save your number last time, can you give it to me again... y'know, incase something comes up"

I am a friend

I wouldn't want someone showing up at my workplace to ask me out.

Miss Fluff

I wouldn't either. I'd think very carefully about showing up in her place of work. That would instantly turn me off.

You need to seriously act on this quickly though. Phone the birthday girl herself and ask her for the girl's number. If she doesn't have it she will be able to procure it quickly. The fact she was the instigator in all of this means she is already on your side and privvy to what's going on. She's your best bet. But you'd want to make it snappy.

WindSock

What about sending a card or something to her workplace to grab her attention with a brief message in it?

greengirl31

I wouldn't normally suggest just turning up at someone's work but this is not a usual situation. You don't have her phone number but you'd really like it. She works in a shop so it's not like you have to summon her from a desk somewhere - You could bump into her at the shop floor or the tills, explain how her number never reached your phone and you'd love to get it from her again ... Nothing too sinister in that !!

It's not every day you get a connection like you seem to have with this girl and while you don't want to be bordering on stalking, if I were you I'd be doing everything I could to get in touch again - Best of luck and let us know how you got on :-)

fghijkl

OP I personally would disregard Canluum's advice
(unless you want to come across like an egotistical, arrogant d1ck :rolleyes:)

I'd leave her brother out of it tbh.

Just go into the shop.
Explain that your phone was turned off and it didn't save her number.
Ask her for her number (personally wouldn't ask her out in work, it's a bit unprofessional)
Phone her later on that day/evening and ask her out for a drink/date/whatever.

It's that simple.:D

GEKKO135

Thanks for all your advice. It seems as though there is a heavier weight being put on the second option. In our conversation about meeting up she did mention she was off work tuesday and wednesday but I went up to the shop today just to check if she was there and man did i feel like larry murphy, i felt like such a creep....i've never chased a girl so bad! Anyway she wasn't there so if i pluck up the courage i'll head in tomorrow.

At the end of the day it'll either be a hit or a miss and i think no matter what the outcome i'll pat myself on the back for doing it.

fallen01angel

Faint heart never won fair lady....Or something like thatWhile I agree with some of the other posters here when they said they wouldn't like a guy coming into their workplace to ask them out I think the circumtances here are slightly different,if she worked in an office or a factory I'd be screaming at you not to do it but she works with the public in a public place and also she's made it pretty clear that she's interested.Yes it may come a little bit of a surprise when you turn up tomorrow as there has been no contact,but really what do you have to lose.My advice is just keep it light and suggest a coffee at later in the week,give her your number so she has full control.
Good luck with tomorrow and if you get the chance post here with an update,happy stories are much appreciated:)

GEKKO135

OK, so just in the door, heart still beating a little too fast and face still a little too flushed!!!

After pacing up and down the apartment a few times and thinking through a decent pitch i decided to go up to her work (for a second time) to get it over with. The shop had a seperate entrance and exit so i had a moment to collect my thought whilst walking through the isles. I continued my little walk around and didnt see her anywhere, then i had a peep around at the tills and she wasnt there. I decided i'd make the most of the situation and pick up some bits anyway, then continuing on to the tills (about 15 yards away) i see her!..I instinctively turned around and walked away, my heart literally went from 0 to 100 (or about 88bpm to 170bpm..i dno im no doctor) and then in the middle of this i bump into an old secondary school teacher...ah for feck sake not now mr halpin! After a hasty conversation with him I threw a load of random crap in a basket, including toasted cereal, jaffa cakes and tomato sauce, don't ask, and made my way up to her.

I stalled at the tills for a while with my back towards her because she was serving someone and the other tills were calling out "NEXT PLEASE" and looking my way. Needless to say I felt like a pure tool at this moment. Then when she was free i made my move. Smiling and walking up to her she says what has you so happy?? my face drops for a second thinkin she doesnt remember me...she looked again and she began to realise...and i was like remember the dj the other night....."oh yee" she said. I decided to chat a little bit with her asking her questions about work and commenting on her uniform....then i came out with a totally cringe worthy line, "so basically i'm here because i made a big mistake on saturday night", "what mistake is that" she said, "well i didn't take your number" i said. I then sort of suggested with phone in hand that she put it in my phone. Then she was like sorry i don't know my number, i'll text it to you. I told her no worries it's totally cool, thinking it was a rejection. She said no I have a break at 8 0 clock, i'll text you then.

After leaving the shop i didnt know what to think. I then realised my bill was 85 quid! she overcharged me 50 quid. I thought going back in would ruin it but i decided to anyway. She was on the floor, about to go on lunch. I told her and she said she was very sorry and that she didn't realise what she was doing. She then handed me over to a colleague and off she went.

I thought i might have blown it but then half way home and i get a text "i'm such a muppet, sorry :-). Abby xxx". I proceeded to moonwalk my way home.

I am now physically and emotionally drained but my god am i happy i did that.

gargleblaster

I wonder if that huge overcharge was because she was actually as flustered as you were.

Either way, what a very sweet story - I'm happy for you.

Reesy

She 'doesn't know' her own number? Aw c'mon. Hands up anyone who doesn't know their own number...

The only time I ever heard that, years ago, was from a girl giving me the brush-off.

GEKKO135

Reesy wrote: »

She 'doesn't know' her own number? Aw c'mon. Hands up anyone who doesn't know their own number...

The only time I ever heard that, years ago, was from a girl giving me the brush-off.

i was thinking that too, but on the saturday night i gave her my number, she told me she was using her mums phone because she didn't pay her bill....or somethin like that. She may have said it because she didnt want to be seen giving customers her number.

Anyway she text me sure, is that not a win?

fghijkl

Reesy wrote: »

She 'doesn't know' her own number? Aw c'mon. Hands up anyone who doesn't know their own number...

The only time I ever heard that, years ago, was from a girl giving me the brush-off.

*raises hand*
maybe she's recently gotten a new number or something.
I'm useless at remembering phone numbers, bank card pins and the like, it took me the best part of 6 months to remember my phone number, i even have it stored in my own phone book in case i forget:o:o

I wonder if that huge overcharge was because she was actually as flustered as you were.

+1

aww well done OP, hope things go well for ye :D

gargleblaster

Reesy wrote: »

She 'doesn't know' her own number? Aw c'mon. Hands up anyone who doesn't know their own number...

*raises hand*

I know it, but I've blanked on it more than a few times. That stuff does happen - it's not always a lie.

And like he said, she did text him soon after, so that says it all really!

Young_gunner

GEKKO135 wrote: »

OK, so just in the door, heart still beating a little too fast and face still a little too flushed!!!

After pacing up and down the apartment a few times and thinking through a decent pitch i decided to go up to her work (for a second time) to get it over with. The shop had a seperate entrance and exit so i had a moment to collect my thought whilst walking through the isles. I continued my little walk around and didnt see her anywhere, then i had a peep around at the tills and she wasnt there. I decided i'd make the most of the situation and pick up some bits anyway, then continuing on to the tills (about 15 yards away) i see her!..I instinctively turned around and walked away, my heart literally went from 0 to 100 (or about 88bpm to 170bpm..i dno im no doctor) and then in the middle of this i bump into an old secondary school teacher...ah for feck sake not now mr halpin! After a hasty conversation with him I threw a load of random crap in a basket, including toasted cereal, jaffa cakes and tomato sauce, don't ask, and made my way up to her.

I stalled at the tills for a while with my back towards her because she was serving someone and the other tills were calling out "NEXT PLEASE" and looking my way. Needless to say I felt like a pure tool at this moment. Then when she was free i made my move. Smiling and walking up to her she says what has you so happy?? my face drops for a second thinkin she doesnt remember me...she looked again and she began to realise...and i was like remember the dj the other night....."oh yee" she said. I decided to chat a little bit with her asking her questions about work and commenting on her uniform....then i came out with a totally cringe worthy line, "so basically i'm here because i made a big mistake on saturday night", "what mistake is that" she said, "well i didn't take your number" i said. I then sort of suggested with phone in hand that she put it in my phone. Then she was like sorry i don't know my number, i'll text it to you. I told her no worries it's totally cool, thinking it was a rejection. She said no I have a break at 8 0 clock, i'll text you then.

After leaving the shop i didnt know what to think. I then realised my bill was 85 quid! she overcharged me 50 quid. I thought going back in would ruin it but i decided to anyway. She was on the floor, about to go on lunch. I told her and she said she was very sorry and that she didn't realise what she was doing. She then handed me over to a colleague and off she went.

I thought i might have blown it but then half way home and i get a text "i'm such a muppet, sorry :-). Abby xxx". I proceeded to moonwalk my way home.

I am now physically and emotionally drained but my god am i happy i did that.

fair f0cks to you son, fair play - delighted for ye. always pays to have some balls where ladys are concerned. hope it works out!

In The Sticks

GEKKO135 wrote: »

Hi there,

So OK, probably the biggest dilemma I've ever had when it comes to a girl i like. Last Saturday i was dj'ing at a surprise 30th party (organised for a girlfriend) and during the night i was told by the bday girl that a particular girl liked me (the bday girls boyfriends younger sister). To my amazement the girl she was talking about was stunning, in every sense of the word. To add to that she was strangly different from a lot of other girls i know ie she's not on facebook, she doesn't usually drink much (not a generalisation btw just comparing to girls i know), she likes yoga and rap music and she wants to write books. To be fully honest she's by far the most attractive girl that's ever come on to me. Anyway to cut the story short we got chatting on and off throughout the night, and at one stage nipped outside for a drink with her as no1 was in the dance room (slightly unprofessional i know). Later on she offered her number and she said she would like to hang out. I didn't have my phone on me and so i put my number in her phone, saved my number in her phone, and then rang my phone. However, when i got hold of my phone it was actually dead so i didnt get her number. As i recall i did explain this to her, by explain i mean try and shout it over the music. At the end of the night she came up gave me a kiss on the cheek off she went.


3 days have gone by now and still no text. In my books 3 days is the limit.
The past three days have literally been psychological torture and I don't think I can forgive myself for not taking her number by writing it down or throwing it in my laptop. I don't know whether she is expecting me to text her or what. But here's the thing, the guy who organised the party is her brother and i got on well enough with him that night, so is it an option to ring her older brother and explain the situation and try to get her number off him? I also know from my conversation with his sister that she works in a shop not so far from where i live, so is it an option to go to where she works and ask her out? Both sound like desperate measures but i feel that i shouldnt just do nothing! Im a firm believer in that if you really want something you gotta just go and get it!

But from a womans perspective are either of these an option? am i just clutching at straws? What should i do? male opinions welcome also.
Thanks for reading

Where was your girlfriend when all this was taking place? Honestly you need a good root up the arse, cop yourself on.

Cherry Blossom Girl

In The Sticks wrote: »

Where was your girlfriend when all this was taking place? Honestly you need a good root up the arse, cop yourself on.

I assume the OP means a girl who's a friend, not his actual girlfriend

Well done OP, hope it works out for you!

petethebrick

fghijkl wrote: »

OP I personally would disregard Canluum's advice
(unless you want to come across like an egotistical, arrogant d1ck :rolleyes:)

D

+1 lol

Maple

In The Sticks wrote: »

Where was your girlfriend when all this was taking place? Honestly you need a good root up the arse, cop yourself on.

Going forward, please give constructive advice, read the charter before posting again

petethebrick wrote: »

+1 lol

This kind of posting adds nothing to the thread.

Maple

neveah

GEKKO135 wrote: »

OK, so just in the door, heart still beating a little too fast and face still a little too flushed!!!

After pacing up and down the apartment a few times and thinking through a decent pitch i decided to go up to her work (for a second time) to get it over with. The shop had a seperate entrance and exit so i had a moment to collect my thought whilst walking through the isles. I continued my little walk around and didnt see her anywhere, then i had a peep around at the tills and she wasnt there. I decided i'd make the most of the situation and pick up some bits anyway, then continuing on to the tills (about 15 yards away) i see her!..I instinctively turned around and walked away, my heart literally went from 0 to 100 (or about 88bpm to 170bpm..i dno im no doctor) and then in the middle of this i bump into an old secondary school teacher...ah for feck sake not now mr halpin! After a hasty conversation with him I threw a load of random crap in a basket, including toasted cereal, jaffa cakes and tomato sauce, don't ask, and made my way up to her.

I stalled at the tills for a while with my back towards her because she was serving someone and the other tills were calling out "NEXT PLEASE" and looking my way. Needless to say I felt like a pure tool at this moment. Then when she was free i made my move. Smiling and walking up to her she says what has you so happy?? my face drops for a second thinkin she doesnt remember me...she looked again and she began to realise...and i was like remember the dj the other night....."oh yee" she said. I decided to chat a little bit with her asking her questions about work and commenting on her uniform....then i came out with a totally cringe worthy line, "so basically i'm here because i made a big mistake on saturday night", "what mistake is that" she said, "well i didn't take your number" i said. I then sort of suggested with phone in hand that she put it in my phone. Then she was like sorry i don't know my number, i'll text it to you. I told her no worries it's totally cool, thinking it was a rejection. She said no I have a break at 8 0 clock, i'll text you then.

After leaving the shop i didnt know what to think. I then realised my bill was 85 quid! she overcharged me 50 quid. I thought going back in would ruin it but i decided to anyway. She was on the floor, about to go on lunch. I told her and she said she was very sorry and that she didn't realise what she was doing. She then handed me over to a colleague and off she went.

I thought i might have blown it but then half way home and i get a text "i'm such a muppet, sorry :-). Abby xxx". I proceeded to moonwalk my way home.

I am now physically and emotionally drained but my god am i happy i did that.

This really made me smile!

Good for you OP. Hope it works out. Let us know how the first date goes!

silly

Awwwww..... Sweet story!!!
Well done to you, that took BALLS!

Ammsy500

So.... what happened next OP??

Ickle Magoo

The OP is under no obligations to come back and comment further - please do not bump threads just to request updates.

If you haven’t already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter and abide by them.

Many thanks.

Ammsy500

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

The OP is under no obligations to come back and comment further - please do not bump threads just to request updates.

If you haven’t already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter and abide by them.

Many thanks.

Obviously the Op is under no obligation to get back but as they've come on here and told us their whole dilema, just would have been nice to hear an update. I just thought it was a nice story that's all.

And sorry didn't realise a week old thread was bumping....

Maple

Ammsy500 wrote: »

Obviously the Op is under no obligation to get back but as they've come on here and told us their whole dilema, just would have been nice to hear an update. I just thought it was a nice story that's all.

And sorry didn't realise a week old thread was bumping....

The PI/RI forums do not exist to serve as a real lifesoap opera with interesting story lines for you to follow.

Please read and abide by the charter before posting again.

And do not argue with a moderator decision onthread again.

Maple

davlar87

Firstly, you should be pretty pleased with yourself that a girl pretty much took the initiative and engaged with you.

To continue on the whole theme of taking the initiative, I think you should go to the shop and get her number straight up. Maybe turn it into a playful thing. You don't want to be asking her when she's behind the counter or whatever, so maybe go in pretending you don't know each other and say to her 'Excuse me, could you help me with something?'. If this pulls her away from her work station for a minute, you could explain the situation.

Bottom line is if she is genuinely interested, she won't have forgotten about you after 3 days and things will pan out as they should. Good luck mate.

Maple

OP hasn't been back to thread in two weeks so I'm locking it.

Maple