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He said his female friend is 'too similar' to himself...

  • 19-07-2011 8:05pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been going out with my boyfriend for three months. I'm in my mid twenties and this is the best relationship I've ever had (it beats a 2 year one I had previously). My boyfriend feels the same. He has a close female friend who he has known since childhood. He tried to date her before but she just saw him as a friend so if never happened.

    One comment he said which stands out is that she's 'too similar to himself'. I didn't want to push the topic as I didn't see what good it would do, but I'm wondering can someone really be 'too similar' to someone else. I'm not an insecure person, but this has thrown me a little. Surely if someone was so similar to oneself, that would only be a positive thing?. I'm a bit scared that he secretly would prefer to be with her. Any comments or advice about this would be very welcome. Thank you.


Comments

  • #2
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Don't be worrying! My boyfriend said the same to me about his mates. His two best friends are women he's known since childhood (he and I are early 20s, they're 19). He said he has never found either of them sexually attractive, although he knows they're stunning women (both of them are absolutely beautiful and also lovely people too), but that they're all too similar for anything like a relationship to have crossed his mind. He basically said that he's so similar to them that he feels like a brother rather than a potential lover.

    I think it's a way of saying they've pretty much grown up together, so are more like family than a possible lover.

    Don't be thrown by it, it sounds like a genuine attempt to make sure you don't end up feeling insecure about it.


  • #3
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,261 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    Really nothing to worry about in my opinion.

    One of my very best friends is a girl I've been friends with for nearly since we were 9 years old. She is essentially a female version of myself, and whilst we tried to be a couple in our late teens, it was just weird and there's never been anything romantic between us since.

    I'd say your boyfriend just meant it in a general term, not that he thinks she'd be better with him.


  • #4
    MitchKoobski
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,101 ✭✭✭MitchKoobski


    Nothing to worry about. I currently have a female friend like that.
    The attraction was probably there at first, but as time went on and they grew up, they're just friends now.

    For whats its worth, opposites attract OP, not people who are really similar. :pac:


  • #5
    curlzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    LOL, that's why my boyfriend broke up with his last girlfriend! They even looked similar. He broke up with her because he said it's unbelievably boring to hang out with someone who likes all the same things as you and has the same tastes and opinions. It just gets stale. I really wouldn't worry about it, they tried it and it was lame so he's with you now and that's all that matters.

    best of luck


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