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stuck in a rut

  • 18-07-2011 8:04pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am really down at present, I seem to be stuck in this rut I cant get out off. There are so many things in life im missing out in and I need to change. Here is a list of the things I need to change

    1.My Weight, at 21 stone I am just far too heavy.Not only is it very unhealthy its very unattractive too, and its the preventing me from going out and forming relationships with the opposite sex. True there is more to a person then their looks, but if your 21 stone, it says a whole lot more about you then your looks, it says you have some pretty bad habbits. Plus at this weight I have absolutely no self estem and you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

    2. No social life, all of my friends have pretty much settled down so here I am at 33 sitting in on my own watching dvds or going to the cinema on my own. My weight as mentioned above has played a factor in preventing me from making the effort also.

    3. No girlfriend/never had a girlfriend.Again this all goes hand in hand with how I personally feel about myself, because im so heavy I have no self confidence so I dont put myself out there.Its not so much the fact I dont have a girlfriend that upsets me ,its the fact I dont have the ability to go out and perhaps try and get one, there have been one or two girls I have seen on various dating sites that I have been very attracted to but I wouldnt dare try and make contact because of my current issues

    4.My alcohol consumption, I am a very heavy drinker, and the worst part about it is that the vast majority of my drinking is done by myself. I think I use it as a release for the other issues in my life.

    5. I cant drive and I have never had a car, a 33 this is kinda embarressing, there is a stigma attached to owning a car in ones adult life, but at 33 I really should have one

    6. Managing my finances, the only thing going for me is that I have a fairly good job but I am just so bad at managing my money.I earn 45k a year and i live from paycheck tom paycheck with no savings.I often run out of money and have to get loans off people

    Thats it anyway, I just need to get a hold of myself and try and snap out of this situation. at 33 I should be more mature than this, I actually think I am letting myself down as I know I am a quite decent person


Comments

  • #2
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Well you have taken the first step in that you now feel its time for you to make a change so good for you.

    It seems that alot/most of what you are feeling is stemming from your weight so in my opinion that is what you should look at first.

    Id recommend making an appointment with your own GP or any GP really and get them to organise an appointment/referral with a dietitian.

    This will likely be the hardest step for you as it will mean giving up (presumeably) fatty foods,takeaways etc and more than likely either knocking the grog on the head altogether or at the very least cutting back severely in your alcohol consumption.This isnt going to be easy,particularly as you sound like you are using it as a crutch to a certain extent but its very important to rein it in as you could be doing untold damage to yourself.

    There isnt going to be a quick fix,it will probably take months but set yourself mini and most of all achievable goals starting with say losing X amount of weight in Y period of time.When you see the weight being lost or your fitness levels getting better it will spur you on because you will know that you can do it.

    You have mentioned that you are into movies.Perhaps in your locality there is a film club or something like that you could join up with to get you out and about and meeting new people.

    The confidence will come when you start losing weight and with that you will feel more at ease interacting with new people.

    As Ive said,its not going to be easy by any stretch but you have taken the most important step in that you realise you arent happy and want to correct that so well done and all the best.

    :)


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