Trans - Need help

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this as some friends I'm not out to know my username and have recently become active on boards.

I can't think, I can't sleep, I can't focus.

I want to push forward with transitioning but I don't want to do it in my home town. I want to move out but I have no money, I want to change colleges up to Dublin but I failed last year and its not likely I'll pass the upcoming repeats. I won't pass them because I can't focus, I can't focus because I'm anxious, I'm anxious because of the above.

I'm trapped, I have no idea what to do, what I can do or how I can go about making a decision. I have €700, no job (i quit the one I had last week in my home town to focus on study) and although I'm in the system, the doctors have been confusing at best about whether I've been referred to who or for what.

I can't do anything until I move out, I can't move out unless I get a job, I can't get a job unless I pass the exams, and I won't pass the exams because I feel like this. I was speaking to a therapist on Friday and said I was feeling ok. I don't want to be offered anti-depressants as I simply will not slave my feelings to a drug, but I keep thinking I need something to help me focus...

Help!

baby and crumble

Hey,

Well done for coming on here, tis not easy to reach out!

First off, you NEED to be honest with your therapist/ GP. No-one can help if you don't say you need it. You've just done it here, but this kind of behaviour-

GoingCrazyAtTheMo wrote: »

I was speaking to a therapist on Friday and said I was feeling ok. I don't want to be offered anti-depressants as I simply will not slave my feelings to a drug, but I keep thinking I need something to help me focus...

really won't help.

The key right now is to get you focusing on college. Once you get past that hurdle you'll feel much better. So, my advice would be to go back to this therapist and be honest- say 'my head is wrecked from thinking about everything, and I don't know what to do' and see what they say. They may not prescribe medication, and they might. But raise your concerns about it if they do, because it's your right to be 100% happy with what's going into your body.

A few years ago my life was utter rubbish. My Mum was dying from cancer, my best friend had just been diagnosed with cancer too, my relationship was really suffering and i just could not concentrate on anything. I had just started my PhD and i really couldn't do a tap. I went to my GP and asked for help. I went to counselling, and was given a mild dose of anti-depressants and some sleeping tablets. They helped enormously. I came off them a few months later, once I had settled down. Now, things were still pants- it didn't change my Mum or my friends diagnosis- but I was able at least to concentrate enough to get through the year.

the thing about anti-depressants are that yes, they are artificial medication in your body. But all they are doing, for people who really need them- is leveling out the chemicals in your brain. Some peoples levels of those chemicals dip because of situational depression (as I like to call it), and once those are relatively back to normal, you can work on the stuff that was stressing you out to begin with. Once that stuff is sorted, you'll be able to come off them. I did. Of course there are other people who have low levels of those chemicals from birth, pretty much, and they need the medication just to level them out long term. That's fine too.

But do ask for help from some professionals, lying to them is really only going to hurt you in the long run.

best of luck.

L.Jenkins

Check out the Trans mega sticky for any information and links. If you need the right push in the direction, pm and I'll help. Well done for coming out