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Effective counselling in Dublin?

  • 18-07-2011 9:12am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Where to start.

    38 years old, in a relationship for almost 8 years now with many personal issues being highlighted for the first time as a result of being close to another person.

    I went to counselling before, and it wasn't something which enlightened me about myself and made that break with the past which I feel I need. I'm overweight by about 30kg (i.e. I'm obese) and have been so for very many years. Food is a problem, clearly. I also drink too much from what I surmise is the same causes as my overeating. I want to purge that cause, although I'm not fully aware of it. I'm far too self-centred and indifferent to people around me (although when asked for help I can show compassion so there's hope there, although once upon a time I had much more compassion and ability to love than I have had for years).

    Being in a relationship has brought up numerous questions, most of which revolve around: Am I just one of those people who is not "made" for marriage? No matter what relationship I would be in I'm slowly getting around to the idea that I'd be indifferent and insensitive (as expressions of self-protection) to my partner. I'm not proud of it. Sex is also an issue; while it is enjoyable so much of it is in my head in the sense that I am submissive and attracted hugely to somebody (almost anybody) who will facilitate that. I'm not sure just how "weird" (for want of a better word) that is. I am so at a loss on this particular issue and no internet search helps me to understand the psychology of submissiveness. I feel it is pushing me towards making serious mistakes with my life, and what I feel when we make love and what my partner feels couldn't be contrasted more: sexual fulfilment by a fantasy versus deep love. That has to be wrong: it certainly feels so. I feel her hurt - "I'm damaged goods", as I candidly explained to her recently - and I want to understand myself more.

    Basically, I'm a mess and I need somebody who can effectively help me to understand myself better and move on. Does anybody know of people in Dublin who would have the expertise to help me with the above issues?

    Thank you in anticipation.


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