Ex acting Odd

Cybertink

So i havnt talked to this chap in quite awhile.. I have done the odd facebook stalk sad to admit but true and i know he has recently been on holiday....

I got a text message today from him that said " i got you somthing when i was away" so i asked why would he do such a thing when were not even on speaking terms.He ignored this question and started up a conversation nothing deep just chit chat until i said i miss you i do miss him but not as anything more than friends i just miss his company...

He replied to that with "i have a girlfriend"... is it just me or is it odd that he bought me a present on holiday???? I asked him did he think it was odd that he bought me a present when we havnt spoken in months and he replied " i just saw it and thought of you how mad"...

I dont get it??? why would he get me something now we havnt been together in years or spoke in months??? can anyone make sense of this

Greatfully
Cybertink

Starokan

Sounds strange to me when ye were not in touch. Ask him does his girlfriend know he bought you a gift.

My advice is cut the contact , this is not going to end well. He has a girlfriend and it seems like you have feelings for him. Chances are he knows this and is enjoying playing games

In The Sticks

Hang on a minute, you say that you are not on speaking terms with this guy, yet you admit to telling him that you missed him, and you also cyber stalk him?? I kinda get the impression that you 'really really' miss him.

vicecreamsundae

i don't know if that's fair... i occasionally check facebook pages of guys i DEFINITELY don't miss -call it a morbid curiosity!!

OP it might be that he saw something really silly that reminded him of some private joke the two of you had, and he just thought he'd pick it up cos it'd make you laugh. wait and see. obviously if the gift is something else, like jewellery or something... it's kind of weird.

you say you miss his company as a friend. sounds to me like maybe he just misses your company as a friend too, saw something small that reminded him of you and thought it might be an ice breaker. i say meet him for a catch up and see, and maybe you guys can be friends now, or at least on speaking terms.

LegacyUser

I totally disagree with meeting him or giving this any more time or thought.

You are clearly still interested in this guy more than you should be.

Perhaps he's playing games, wants to believe he has women everywhere fighting over him? Perhaps he fell out with his girlfriend and did this to piss her off.
Who knows.

What I do know is that meeting up with exes and becoming friends very rarely works. One partner is almost always feeling something more than standard friendship and that's not fair on anyone.

Ignore him. There's something not right about this.

I am a friend

I think what's odd is that you told your ex, who has a gf, that you miss him. His behaviour won't win him any bf of the year awards either. The poor gf

Cybertink

Thanks everyone you really gave me some perspective on this one i dont have strong feelings for him...He has never wanted just frienship from me it was always him looking for more so i think maybe this one ill let go...I dont really need to know whats going on with him or be brought into any drama as that can easily blow up so i hope he is very happy with his girlfriend... And has a great life but without me in it

Greatfully
Cybertink

Cybertink

I was unaware he had a girlfriend until after i had told him i missed him

Miss Fluff

Ex's are ex's for a reason. You've started two threads in the space of a few minutes about two different men. Why do you think that is? If you are feeling a bit low or lonely it can easy to be come nostalgic and view old relationships with rose-tinted glasses. Not a great idea tbh. The reasons a relationship didn't work out very rarely change so be careful of over-romanticising things that don't have any future and concentrate on the here and now.

Cybertink

You're rite ex's are ex's for a reason and some of those reasons are out of our control i am not low, lonely or nostalgic if that was the case it would be me turning to them..But both of my ex's came to me and in both situations i don't understand the overall meaning hence I am looking for perspective..

There is always more to things than meets the eye and in this thread i have had a bad past with that partner even though i think he is a good person i am always afraid of his motives my friends judge this person and i wanted to know was this truely odd or just me thinking its odd because of personal opionions involving him.

And as far a Mr.Oz he is the opposite he has never wronged me or made me doubt his character when he ended things he told me he loved me but this was something he needed to do to grow as he had never been single for a long period of time and really wanted to travel but now he wants to come back into my life and Im the one who is hesitant, i think rightly so.

I have friends and family that love and care for me i am so lucky and happy with the cards life has dealt me even though it isn't always easy their is always a lesson to be learned... so i ask for advice not judgement

i am happy to explain circumstances if you ask i may not always clearly make my point. but please do not judge me because i have relationship problems.. frankly i don't think they are my problems but my ex partners problems i just need a little advice on how to deal with them. I am to trustworthy and kind and it can get me hurt

I am truely greatfull for all the replies
Cybertink

Kiera

One has a girlfriend and the other is on the other side of the world. What’s to figure out here? Neither of them are available so you don’t need to give either of them a second thought.

Cybertink

Keira the first one i am not romantically interested in, it is as a friend i was concerned and needed advice i was not available to him.. nor will i ever be..

And Mr.oz isnt as cut and dry as that he is home in a couple of months maybe sooner judging by our last conversation.. i need advice on what to do when he comes home he has already asked me to pick him up from the airport with his mother. who is a friend of mine as is most of his family members so i will see him when he comes home even if i try and avoid him..

Kiera

Cybertink wrote: »

Keira the first one i am not romantically interested in, it is as a friend i was concerned and needed advice i was not available to him.. nor will i ever be..

And Mr.oz isnt as cut and dry as that he is home in a couple of months maybe sooner judging by our last conversation.. i need advice on what to do when he comes home he has already asked me to pick him up from the airport with his mother. who is a friend of mine as is most of his family members so i will see him when he comes home even if i try and avoid him..

It’s a few months away. Why stress about it now? You could have met someone in the meantime or his feelings might have changed. Just play it by ear when the time comes and don’t worry about it now.

Cybertink

Thanks Keira i think youre right i do tend to over stress and over think things

Cybertink

Pandora2

Well said Cybertink:D

My daughter, the most secure, confident, level-headed lady I know is in a similar situation right now!! I won't go into detail, her story not mine;), but she is handling things well and honestly and is secure that her motives are upfront and honestly represented to the others involved:D:D:D

Think I might have done OK as Mum on the whole

You remind me of her and you are right to look for perspective in life situations, I always have.....like to think I have not always made snap decisions about things and it seems to have served me fairly well;)

We learn as we go along and anyone who never made a mistake, never made anything but to keep making mistakes is what one must try to avoid. We study many things in our lives but, apart from our families, and what a lottery that can be:eek:, relationships are rarely on the agenda!! No harm to ask others what their opinion is, after all the most successful 12 step programmes are based on comparison between the affected...you keep asking questions kiddo but not only on the web...be balanced...with the best will in the World you should also be exploring these issues with GF's, Sisters, colleagues and I'm guessing you are:D

Cybertink

Lol Pandora2

I think you have done an amazing job mum
How funny that you replied not knowing it was me but all the same you're support means the world to me xxx

Love you
Cybertink

Pandora2

Honest folks, I did not know it was her:o:o:o:o

My username is our cat:D and when I posted my reply she came tearing into my bedroom and said Ma..are you Pandora 2??? I hadn't even seen the 2nd thread and I had no idea she was on Boards!! Seems there is no mistake we are related and she must search further afield than the web for an unbiased opinion:eek: I'm amused and appalled in equal measure:D:eek:cool:

Scariest/loveliest of all........we are really like-minded....I get my kid and she gets me:D:D:D:D:D

Pandora2

We have made a rule, whoever participates in a thread first has tenure...the other stays out...Fair I think:D And from now on...hers are off limits and so are mine:D:D

Nevertheless, I've lost me bloody freedom again!!!!! :rolleyes: