Potty training advice/tips please

bitemybanger

My son is 2 and a half and started yesterday on no nappies.
We have a large frog type potty and a child's seat for the toilet but he is very reluctant to sit on either, he has had a few accidents yesterday as expected (no number 2)
He has sat down a couple of times with his pants and shorts on but has a fit when asked to sit on the potty with pants down.
I know it dosnt happen overnight.
Any tips apart from having patience?

January

Sounds like he's not ready... Some of the signs of him being ready are telling you when he is wet or dirty, asking to go, taking off his own nappy etc, being dry for more than two hours etc... Does he HAVE to be trained now? Or are you doing it because you think you should?

I'd leave it for a month and talk to him about it to get him used to the idea and try again, or you could try reward charts and lots of praise if he does go in the potty.

bitemybanger

January wrote: »

Sounds like he's not ready... Some of the signs of him being ready are telling you when he is wet or dirty, asking to go, taking off his own nappy etc, being dry for more than two hours etc... Does he HAVE to be trained now? Or are you doing it because you think you should?

I'd leave it for a month and talk to him about it to get him used to the idea and try again, or you could try reward charts and lots of praise if he does go in the potty.

Thanks for the reply January.
We went for his routine Progress check with the health nurse and she suggested we try as she said he would be well able.
When he has no nappy on like yesterday and most of today he holds in his wee until he is Pacing the floor not knowing weather to sit down or stand up holding his willy and crossing his legs but when asked if he needs to go he says no. When we tried to sit him on the potty he goes into hysterics so we put pull up nappies on to see if he will make the decision to sit on the potty himself.
He is fairly advanced in speech for his age and shapes colours and numbers are no problem. Maybe your right and he's just not ready but should we persist or go completely back to nappies for another while?

January

I'd probably leave the pull ups on and give him the opportunity a couple of times a day to see if he does want to go to the toilet, he might just be a bit apprehensive about it.

I have a 2 and a half year old here too and while she does ask to go the toilet, she has yet to successfully use the potty or the loo, she'll sit on it for ages and ages but not go and if she gets up she'll wee on the floor a few minutes later. Possibly just a mental block, but I'm not pushing it at the moment because we have no real reason to have her trained (I'm a stay at home mother so no creche or play school just yet). I've had a few family members tell me to just put her in pants and let her wet herself and feel uncomfortable but I'm not really up for that idea... She wears pull ups and will just sit on the loo a few times a day but not go in it.

It seems like he's afraid of the toilet? He wasn't watching anything that may have made him scared of it (I know Rugrats had a thing with Chuckie being afraid of the potty cos it was like a monster to him?). Like I said, I'd probably take a break with the full time potty training for a month, but leave him in the pull ups (I know it can be messy if they poo in them!), and chat to him about how big boys use the toilet and maybe bring him with you when you are using it to show him not to be scared etc (I'm assuming you are Daddy cos of the forum you mod :eek: ), lots of "oh look daddys big and he uses the big boy toilet, you'll be a big boy too if you use it" and then try again in a month with the full time training.

deisemum

From what you've posted he doesn't sound ready. I've toilet trained a lot of children and most of the boys were 3 before they were ready. I think if you push it at this stage then that could lead to problems.

My older son was 3.5 before he was toilet trained, he could manage peeing but the poohing frightened him. He spoke very early and walked at 10 months and was ahead in most of his developmental checks but children develop different milestones at different ages. It's a child's developmental stages and not the calander that should be the focus unless the child is older and has some developmental issues.

One thing to be aware of with boys is the shape of the potty because they do not like their warm balls touching a cold plastic surface, we changed potty and there was a huge improvement.

My younger son just toilet trained himself when he was 2y 4m old without me starting it and the first I knew about it was hearing "wipe my bum" and finding him sitting on the toilet after poohing. He only had 2 accidents and they weren't his fault.

Some parents confuse toilet timing with toilet training but they're two separate things.

Is there some reason to rush through his toilet training?

On one of my childcare courses I remember hearing about a connection between anal retentives and issues surrounding toilet training when they were younger.

As regard the health nurse who told you he would be well able just remember some health nurses follow books while others go on life experience. Some of the stuff some of them come out with is something else while others are more clued in and offer great help. Fortunately my PHNs were wonderful and a great help but I've seen the opposite too.

Wantobe

Some people may frown on it but we used sweets as enticements for potty training. A smartie ( as in one smartie, not a packet) for a pee and a kinder egg for a poo, to be precise!:rolleyes:

It worked for us with our two. Once they got the hang of it ( about a week), no more treats as they were then 'big girls' who knew what to do.

pickarooney

He sounds like he's not quite ready. Don't put any pressure on him until he's relaxed enough to ask to do it himself. Have you tried asking him to wee in the toilet or outside against a tree or anything so he can actually see what's going on?

bitemybanger

Thanks for the advice folks, very helpful.
There is no rush and I don't want to put pressure on him to go for fear of future problems as deisemum said.
He is willingly sitting on the potty today but not until the last moment, he will quickly sit and stand about 10 times before he let's go and panics when he does eventually let go and stands up resulting in half in half/most out of the potty. We still give him loads of praise for going and he thinks it's great probably more out of relief.
I see how he is tomorrow and if Thers no change we will put him on the pull ups and wait for him to want to sit himself.
I don't think he is far away from that now so watch this space.

bitemybanger

Day 4 update.
Unbelievable progress in the last 24hrs.
He is now telling us when he needs to go (as if it isn't obvious:D)
He is willingly sitting on the potty doing his wee and telling us when he's finished. We didn't put any pressure on him, we were just kind of going with the flow (no pun intended:D)
Still to do the no2 in the potty.