Help....please

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Going unreg for this as I post a lot here and friends and family use boards too,

Anyway, 22yr old male, going out with my 23yr old gf 2 years the other day

Things are on the rocks at the moment, fighting, I've got the feeling she is going to end things, saying things she hasn't said and so on

I'm afraid of the things I keep thinking, not very nice thoughts about what'll happen to me if we do break up, I know its stupid to say but I'm just flattened by it all, real down, feeling almost depressed, I don't want to do anything stupid and I'm afraid I will, afraid of depression, I know I should try to man up and take it on the chin but I cant, I just need help, anything, any words of advice, just please, how can I avoid these dark thoughts? Fears of depression?

solovely

You sound pretty down.

You say things are on the rocks, so clearly you are both not happy with how things are. Would you rather be unhappy in a relationship or force someone else to be unhappy than be on your own? You are very young, this was probably your first serious relationship. Imagine yourself in 10,20,30 years time looking back on how you feel now, and you'll laugh with fondness, for a great time, but one that had to end. You'll go through loads more turmoil, but you need to be strong and get through this.

Do you have anyone you can talk to? A friend? Parent? Maybe even seek out a counsellor from your GP. You shouldn't have to feel like this on your own.

Have you and your girlfriend had a serious chat yet? You sound as though the reasons for the break up are mutual, but you just can't face being without her. It is probably the feeling of being with her you want and you will miss, rather than her herself? If ye are fighting all the time, it can't be good for your happiness.

You will meet another girl, in fact, loads more girls most likely, and this will all be in your past. You need to think of the bigger picture and not just concentrate on how you feel now.

But to cope with now, talk to people, please! And keep yourself busy with work, hobbies, socialising (but not drinking to excess). Catch up with old friends. Try not to sit in on the internet or watching TV. You need to be around real people, and out having fun.

Good luck. There's loads of people out there who care.

kingelmo

Hey all the numbers ,

I think your reading to much into things! Nothing has happened as of yet am i right??

Every relationship has its up's and down's. You have to take the bad with the good. And unfortunalty fighting is one of them.

Maybe she is just going through alot at the moment, i know i get ratty with my OH for no reason but he bugs me ha:D but you just get over it.

Anyway if worst does come to the worst and it does end, there is always options out there, talk to a friend or sometimes its better to take to a random stranger (like me ), obviously its going to hurt alot but evetually time is a healer.

But honestly my advice is calm down and stop reading into it, your meeting up with her and all your thinking i "oh god she's going to break up with me" and she can sense then that something is playing on your mind and ye aint going to have a good time or even give it a chance to work out!!

Relax and chin up

Everything always happens for a reason, may it be good or bad, always remember that

Miss Fluff

Uncertainty can be very unsettling. You'd probably feel a whole lot better if you did actually know one way or the other whether your relationship is coming to an end. Rather than jumping the gun and have your mind racing with assumptions have you actually spoken to her? I know its a tough one as you obviously dread what the answer may be but at least you are addressing the issue and quietening the "chatter". You really should probably talk to her and ask ehr what's going on hon.